Season of the Witch

I saw this movie for one reason - my all consuming love for all things Nicolas Cage (well that I just haven't been able to bring myself to see The Kings Speech. I'm sure its great and all, but another english monarch film doesn't really excite me. Now if you're talking about the fifth fast and furious sequel, FiveFast, that's a whole other story). Unfortunately Cage goes through this whole film with the 'I can't believed I just filed for bankruptcy and have to film six more movies this year' sheen on his face which kills any chance it had of being ludicrous fun. Its not like the story didn't have potential for some good old unitentional comedy. Cage and Ron Perlman star as crusading knights who become disenchanted by the nobility of their quest and desert after killing approximately 600,00 poorly CGI'd infidels. Soon after they're commissioned to bring an accused witch to a far away abbey in the hopes that the monks there can cause her to lift the bubonic plague. The film spends some time playing with the idea of whether or not she's actually a witch, but it becomes apparent pretty quickly that she is. The one thing the film does which I appreciated is that they make it that she's not just a witch, she's actually the Devil (spoiler alert). As a result we get a climax which involves Cage and Perlman having a fistfight with said Devil. Read that last sentence again. Sounds like it should be tons of over the top fun right? Too bad the film doesn't completely embrace the ludicrousness of the premise, and instead tries to walk a line between an exorcist type vibe and camp and ends up failing at both. The proceedings aren't help by a stilted script, mediocre (at best) acting, really cheap looking CGI, and a general lack of energy from everybody involved. Oh its not unwatchable, just eminently forgettable which, in a movie that features Nicolas Cage fighting the Prince of Darkness, is really unforgivable. Thank god somebody is releasing that movie done well in three days.

One more observation. There's a point in the film where after deserting Cage and Perlman are riding through a village. Since they're now notoriously wanted men one of them decides it would be a good idea to cover his face. Its not the one who was specifically cast for Hellboy because his face is, um, distinctive. That's some heads up planning there.

Also would it have been too much trouble to feature this song over the closing credits?