Hot Tub Time Machine

With a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine I think you know what to expect (though hopefully you're not going in expecting freaking Moliere). The plot, such that it is, revolves around three friends (and a nephew) who go back to their favorite ski lodge which has become a rathole. They're all at various low points of their lives, but through the magic of a special hot tub and russian red bull they're whisked back to 1986 and a weekend that ended up being pivotal in all of their lives. Of course there are the typical 'weren't the eighties crazy' and 'back to the future-esque' time travel jokes, and if that's all there was this film wouldn't be more than an intermittently entertaining and derivative farce. However it has two aspects that elevate it past the 'Not Another Teen Movie Level.'

First, even though it has the aforementioned elements (as well as some 80's ski comedy satire, which was already completely done to perfection by South Park in the seminal Asspen episode) it manages to throw in some nice touches to differentiate them from the typical time travel comedy (a long and distinguished genre to be sure). For example in the inevitable scene where one of the guys has to perform with his band (a la back to the future) they pick a song from the future that isn't exactly considered a classic, and actually kind of sucks (its from those masters of commercial jingles the Black Eyed Peas). Also there's a running gag in the film about them anxiously awaiting to see how a bellman, played by Crispin Glover, loses his arm, which actually pays off nicely.

Second, the film is able to generate most of its humor from the interaction of its leads. They have a nice affable chemistry (and in the case of Rob Coddry the mix is somewhat psychotic - in a good way), and the film throws in some subtle touches like unexplained inside jokes (The Great White Buffalo) and references to past experiences (what did happen in Cincinnati that must never be spoken of again?) that only they understand. This grounds it in some sense of 'reality' (as real as a movie featuring a time traveling tub of water, and magical squirrel can be) and gives you some the feeling that these characters could conceivably be friends in 'real life' (unlike The Hangover where I'm not sure any of those guys would ever be in the same room together).

Overall its not a 'great' film, but a loaded cast and easy tone make for a satisfying couple of hours (must refrain from saying 'that's what she said') . Also it features only a little more racism than The Blind Side so there you go (Note: I have not actually seen The Blind Side as I really enjoyed the book and have no desire to see it gutted, but thats not stopping me from making ill founded generalizations).

Beer League

I can conclusively say that this film would never have ended up in the stack if it had cost more than two dollars, and I hadn't just seen Artie Lange completely fry Joe Buck before I bought it. The film acts a vehicle for Lange and, like most comedian projects, how much you like Artie will probably determine how much you enjoy it. I for one do find him pretty funny, and the film is at its best when he's able to go on riffs only tangentially related to the plot. Unfortunately, like most of these comedian centric films, the rest of it is fairly pedestrian and forgettable. Watching it actually gave me a greater appreciation for Adam Corolla's film The Hammer. Like Beer League it was based around the charisma of its star and both of them had very similar stories (washed up former athlete stuck in a go nowhere job who finds redemption through sports and love), but in The Hammer I actually cared about the story and other characters, and in this one I never got past moderate amusement. Still the film moves along a a nice pace for its 87 minutes, and as long as you can put up with 'Nonstop language including strong sexual references, sexuality, Nudity, and Drug Use' (way to go spoiling all the good parts MPAA) there are worse ways to burn some time (even if it is fairly forgettable).

All that said I do have a major issue with the climatic game (spoiler alert, though if you're watching a movie called Beer League for the intricate plotting I don't know what to tell you). So we're in the bottom of the ninth, two outs, and our heroes are down 10-0. Artie proceeds to jack a homerun to make the score 10-1 and then gives a big speech about how they can still win this, blah blah blah. We then get the expected montage scene as the team proceeds to get 8 straight hits, score six runs, and have the bases loaded for Artie. Now remember the score is 10-6, a grand slam just ties the game and they've been using the other team's pitcher (and Artie's nemesis) for batting practice. So Artie pulls a hit to the opposite field and rather than settling for a base clearing stand up triple, the third base coach (played by the immortal Ralph Macchio) waves him home even though throughout the entire film we've been shown that Artie isn't the fleetest of foot and the throw home is going to beat him by a good two feet. Artie tries to bowl the over the pitcher covering the plate to knock the ball loose, fails, they lose the game and are kicked out of the league. Here's the part that really kills me - nobody questions the decision to send Artie home, the overwhelming attitude is just 'Good game, we'll play in a different league next year.' Maybe I missed the scene where Macchio gives them all the crane kick to inspire fear, but at the very least shouldn't there have been a few sarcastic comments, if not a punch in the head, directed his way (and Artie's as well)? Its scenes like this that make me question the authenticity of hollywood sometimes.

On another note it was a little weird to watch Lange play an unapologetic, boozing, drug user when its come out that he recently tried to kill himself (again) and has a history of (significant) substance abuse. Not necessarily disturbing, just odd. I'm sure there's something of significance that I could say, but I doubt it.

One Tree Hill: At The Bottom of Everything

There's been some debate by the two people who actually read this blog about whether these one tree hill recaps should continue. One the one side Mark (who apparently is still figuring out the page down key) says he can't take it anymore and the show sounds too horrible to read about (though the fact that he is reading it sort of undercuts his point). Michael (in all his good taste and charisma) feels that I'm doing a community service with my pithy and non spell-checked entries. After literally seconds of soul searching I decided that I'm going to continue (at least until I see a shiny nickel to distract me).

This is a special pre-Cal beatdown of Duke edition of the recap (a boy can dream - I'm counting on you Max Zhang) so our concurrent viewing is the end of the Syracuse-Gonzaga game, which currently has Syracuse up 30 with 12 minutes left. I think the Zags still have a shot.

-The previously on recap ends with Haley's mom telling the girls she has cancer so I'm guessing the show is going to start with some slapstick humor?

-Oh its a somber family breakfast livened up by the worlds most annoying five year old Jaime. It ends with the dying mom calling everybody a bunch of buzzkills for not cracking wise over bacon. Seriously what a bunch of killjoys.

-Alex wakes up with 'most definitely not gay fashion designer also named Alex' still in her bed and throws a reasonable fit about not being able to sleep because the patio salesman convention guys are throwing parties in the next hotel room and blared metal all night. He basically calls her uptight since he apparently smoked a whole bag of weed the night before and slept through Appetite for Destruction.

-Hey the banner ad says I can connect with the hill as: 'The characters you love face the exciting possibility of dreams come true and the heartbreaking reality that being an adult isn't as easy as it seems.' I didn't make a mistake writing that, apparently the exciting possibility is dreams come true and opposed to coming true. Bold.

-Millie is still in NA and let me just say it doesn't really like the meetings I saw Bubbles attend in The Wire. I feel misled.

-The bartender at the one hangout in town has apparently written a great album and can't release it because he hasn't gotten over the chick he wrote it about. I think this is the same reason Axel waited so long to release Chinese Democracy.

-Pac-10 and Big-10 are the conferences with the highest proportion of teams remaining in the tournament. Suck it East Coast bias.

-Mouth starts to make a move on Skillz' woman Lauren while Skillz is in LA working. She starts it by saying how its so hard being apart and they don't talk as much, and she may just stop dating because its so hard to move on, blah blah blah. Between this, Quinn dumping her husband for no real rational reason, and Brooke breaking up with Julian for helping someone who just tried to commit suicide, the women on this show are showing a bit of instability.

-Millie comes back from NA and gets all pissie about mouth playing videogames (not a euphemism) with Lauren. Having watched enough procedurals I know this will inevitably drive her back to the smack.

-Julian and Brooke's parents are hooking up. He follows up this news by making a subtle move to get back together with Brooke. Interesting reaction.

-I just went a whole segment without writing a comment, mainly because it just dealt with boring Mouth and Millie and everybody talking about coming to terms with Haley's mom's impending death. My restraint has nothing to do with good taste and not wanting to make fun of the death of (fictional) people, I was just too bored to write anything. Not a good sign for the show.

-Owen is back sporting a heroic beard (which of course symbolizes his journey through addiction) and becomes Millie's sponsor. He also tells her to try and get Mouth back by 'showing him she's still the girl he fell in love with' but you know without the cocaine addiction.

-Grubbs the bartender tortures the hot British record exec about recording until she dresses up in lingerie and walks through the bar to show him that she believes in him and thinks he can succeed? I'm so in the wrong line of work. Though I believe this is the same way Barry Gordy signed the Supremes.

-The whole theme of the episode is about taking chances so it ends with Grubbs signing the recording contract, Mouth asking Lauren out, and Brooke walking in on Alex in Julian's bed - Why can't anything ever be easy for these crazy kids? Somehow I'm guessing that He just let her use his room to get some sleep, but I'm betting Brooke won't handle the development with aplomb.

A Prophet

I want to be careful about how much I say about the plot of the film because I don't want to ruin its unexpected pleasures for the rest of you. Though pleasure may not be the right word given that it follows a 19 year old arab in France who's about to begin a six year prison sentence. Soon after he's interred a corsican gang tells him he has to kill another inmate or they'll kill him. That's as much detail as I'm willing to give, but the way the film deals with how he makes his decision and the consequences of his actions is exquisite. It has elements of Goodfellas, the Godfather, the Sopranos, and The Wire interspersed throughout. Not in a way that feels like a blatant rip, but in a manner that captures the depth of character, detailed plotting, and intensity that those prior films/shows embodied. Also, as I mentioned earlier, the film was great at delivering unexpected twists and turns (not twists as in The Usual Suspects, but twists in the sense that it didn't follow the conventional beats of the genre) that I legitimately didn't know what was going to happen next (sort of the opposite of when I saw Percy Jackson). The one part of the film that may turn you off are several sequences that take on a dream like quality similar to Requiem for Dream. I kind of dug them but I could see how it would annoy somebody.

I guess what I would say if you're a fan of well executed drama (that happens to have sub-titles, just like my hello kitty binder) check out A Prophet.

Okay two films in a row that I liked, I have to see something that sucks to get my equilibrium back. What's your mom up to this weekend? Hey-Oh!!!!

Bronson

We're starting a new feature here and letting other people post. The general reason for this is because if they read their own review it doubles the readership of this blog. On the other hand anybody else who posts here is probably going to do things like exert effort, proofread, and not engage in casual racism so this may just end up making me look inferior. Whatever, I'm special in my own way...right Teddy Ruxpin? Our first guest is my boy Mark. Take it away Mark:

I figured that for my first guest posting here on What I'm Watching, I figured that I would choose a little known title that even fewer people would have any desire to watch so that I could keep my credibility as a reviewer as long as possible. So, a biopic about one of the most famous British sociopaths since the 1960's Kray brothers seemed to be just obscure enough to accomplish my goal, yet keep me interested enough to actually finish it and want to write about it. I did watch the 80's film depicting the Kray's disturbing lifestyle during the U.K.'s swinging 60's like any good Smith's fan from the 80's, but nothing could prepare me for the sheer insanity of this particular character.

Even though the subject of Bronson couldn't have been more curious, who doesn't love a homicidal lunatic turned bare knuckle boxer turned pop artist, the movie seemed to be a mess of competing styles. It was as though John Cleese was starring in a remake of "The Red Balloon", but the balloon was actually on a self-aggrandizing spree of sociopathic behavior. I think that these elements could have worked together a little better if the whole thing was dripping with melodrama. Saying all that, I do have to admit that my favorite scene from the first act was of a loony bin discotech complete with The Pet Shop Boys club classic "It's a Sin" accompanying the cotton robe clad inmates' drool filled dance-a-thon. (Insert normal Saturday night joke here). Editors Note: I'm going to show some restraint, but its difficult.

It isn't until the second act that the movie starts to resemble a traditional narrative. That is, if the story line has the Cheshire Cat playing the role of Rocky Balboa's trainer. I did finally get a sense that the character was progressing toward something during the boxing section of the movie, but that was short-lived. Back down the proverbial rabbit hole we go... back to prison. The fact that the character only enjoyed 69 days of freedom in between prison stays should have clued me in to the amount of screen time would be devoted to extra-penal activities.

I wouldn't say that I hated this highly stylized film, but it just wasn't really for me. This film is probably exactly what the fans of a nihilistic career-criminal (see http://www.freebronson.co.uk/) want to watch, but I'll go a different direction for my yearly dose of cockney criminal... a lot less operatic melodrama, a lot more Guy Ritchie. So, if you enjoy dark, melodramatic biopics about sociopaths, you should watch Natural Born Killers. If you prefer a cockney accent, Bronson will have to do.

One Tree Hill: Don't you forget about me

Tonights concurrent viewing will be the second half of the Cal-UCLA Pac-10 semi-final. Michael Roll needs to die.

-As promised I'm doubling back an episode to see the special eighties dance themed episode. Of course the episode opens with a certain talking heads song.

-Clay: We're only a couple hundred miles away from tree and we're in a corvette, well be home before you can say Yao Ming'

Drives said corvette over parking spikes

Nathan: Yao Ming

-Ahhhh, Nathan needed to get back for haley's birthday. Now she thinks he forgot. I'm sure this won't end with a slow dance set to a song with tons of synthesizers

-THEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROBERTSONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Jaime, the sly fox, cons his way into staying home alone.

-Two completely random characters (one of them is helpfully black, thus fulfilling the shows quota of minorities) are suddenly Mouth's roommates, and are apparently well known enough to babysit Jaime. I love how they just introduce new people and expect me to accept it. Don't you play with my heart One Tree Hill.

-Nathan and Clay's only option to get home is to ride on the back on a pickup carrying pigs. Because...North Carolina doesn't have taxis? Anyway Bridge is out. I guess this episode is going to be a low rent version of Planes Trains and Automobiles.

-Jaime's idea of going crazy is making root beer floats and giant pancakes. I hope a drifter stops by the house and murders him.

-Or they could have him find all the decorations for his moms birthday. My scenario's better.

-Patrick Christopher! - Suck it Bruins

-Julian's favorite director is...John Hughes. 'Because those just weren't movies about teenagers they were about the struggle everyone has to find themselves. Talk about a director with clear vision. I'd like to make a movie half as good as his' All right lets just calm down there chief. I like Ferris Beuller as much as anybody, but I don't think making a film half as good as Home Alone is really what I would consider a particularly impressive life goal.

-Wow, Cheap Trick is playing the eighties dance...and they don't look well. Seriously Bun E Carlos looks like he just had a catheter removed. Man...Cheap Trick. What are the odds even 1% of this show's target demographic knows who they are? I have to know the payout the label gave the CW for this placement.

-Jerome Randle is the man.

-Clay and Nathan are getting pissy with eachother while wandering through the woods. They'll probably start making out soon.

-I really like Jorge Gutierrez

-Stupid Michael Roll, suck against everyone else and go for 20 a game against Cal.

-Nathan buys Porsche from some woman on the highway to get home on time and then tells Haley its her birthday present. This is going to be awkward when she finds the dead hooker in the trunk.

-And Cheap Trick brings out something from the new album. Not a good idea.

-Nathan: What Are you going to wish for

Haley: I already have everything I ever wanted

They Kiss, and for some reason are sitting on the kitchen table so they can reenact some John Hughes film.

And the closing title card says the episode was dedicated to big John's memory. Hasn't the man's family suffered enough?

The Ghost Writer

Overall a well-acted, and tightly paced thriller that exhibits a nice wit and is almost ruined by an eye-rollingly bad end twist. This latest film from noted pedophile Roman Polanski (whose legal issues meant he had to shoot a film set in Massachussets in Europe) follows a prominent Ghost Writer (Ewan Macgregor), whose last book was the autobiography of a magician called 'I came I Sawed I Conquered,' who is hired to finish the memoirs of a former British Prime Minister (Pierce Brosnan). The previous writer had just died mysteriously, and the Prime Minister is about to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for war crimes. Macgregor soon realizes that there's more going on than meets the eye (isn't there always) as he becomes embroiled in international shenanigans.

What I enjoyed most about the film was that when Ewan's trying to be a spy and figure out what's going on he doesn't suddenly turn into James Bond. He makes mistakes, draws inaccurate conclusions and any revelations he makes feel like those that any reasonably intelligent individual could come up with. The fact that the film is able to maintain a generally believable (and even affable) tone for the majority of its running time makes the big denouement even more jarring. Oh its not as bad as say the ending of say Orphan but it does feel like the writers just ran out of time, and were like 'crap lets just do something cliche and arbitrary to wrap this thing up as quickly as possible.' Thankfully doesn't ruin the film completely, but I wish it had ended on a note at the level of the rest of the film.

Speaking of bad endings the finale of the upcoming Remember Me sounds like the most ill advised thing ever. Of course I may have to see it.