Monday, February 23, 2009

TV recap

I do watch some shows regularly on the small screen but I'm way to lazy to write regularly about any single one (except for One Tree Hill, but lets be honest that show practically writes its own entries). Still since I feel like the world doesn't get enough of my meaningful opinions I figured I periodically post my thoughts about, wait for it, 'What I'm Watching" (TM). These will only covers show I watch as they're actually airing. Since I'm getting most of my television from DVD sets that means this list will actually be kept at a fairly manageable level.

The Office: For my money still the funniest show on television, granted not saying much since the biggest competition is Simpsons reruns but still. How the show has managed to keep walking that fine line between broad comedy and devastating parody without completely falling into former category is truly something to behold. Additionally its managed to make us care enough about the characters that it can give some well-earned emotional moments in the midst of all the beet farming jokes. Plus it's one of the most quotable shows on television, and the deleted scenes are often just as strong as anything that makes the air.

Chuck: This is an interesting show in that all the enjoyment I get from it (which is not insignificant) is purely from everything that surrounds the main plot points. The main story (generally some sort of spy mission) is usually forgettable, and the show's main romantic tension (Will they or won't they with Chuck and Sarah) needs to be resolved soon because it grinds the show to a halt whenever they look longingly at one another. That aside I think the show's writers realize the limitations as they put way more effort into coming up with clever uses of all the side characters, who seem to be getting increasingly weirder as time goes on. Really the two main characters (the aforementioned Chuck and Sarah) are the least interesting on the show, but they do provide something for all the more colorful characters to bounce off of. You know what the dynamic is like? That movie Independence Day. Remember how the central characters (the president and his family/staff) were really stiff and, while not necessarily unlikeable, you really didn't care what happened to them. However, they were surrounded by a bunch of live wires (Will Smith/Jeff Goldbloom/Judd Hirsch/Brent Spiner/Randy Quaid) who made the movie much more interesting and actually caused you to look back on the it fondly instead of being mildly annoyed at its generic nature. So Chuck's like that, except it features two characters who appeared in Firefly and Arrested development respectively (Jane and Buster to devotees) so it automatically gets an extra point.

Lost: By this point you've either decided if you buy into the show's premise or not. Given that up to this season the show has featured polar bears on a tropical island, a black smoke monster, having a paralyzed man the ability to walk, and possibly resurrection - I wasn't even phased by the addition of time travel this year. However if all these elements don't appeal to you then you'll unfortunately find all the machinations incomprehensible and at best completely arbitrary, and at worst ridiculous and laughable. If you do buy it, and I completely do, you find that is still one of the most interesting shows on television, and that it still manages to provide a "Holy Crap!" episodes every couple of weeks. It also has one of the more enjoyable, and growing, ensemble casts in recent memory, and the show runners have made it such an enjoyable ride to this point that I'm completely on board no matter implausible the plot gets (which is very to say the least). Plus the fact that the show has a definite end date means that we're going to get resolution to all the open questions, and that alone should keep me on board to the end.

Battlestar Galactica: I've had an interesting relationship with this show. When it first aired I had zero interest. In fact until a friend of my brother's gave us a copy of the first season DVD set I wouldn't have ever considered checking it out. On the balance I'm glad I did. In general I've enjoyed the plot and most of the characters, and I think the show runners have done a good job keeping the show moving and using it to reflect some of what's going on into society. That said of all the shows on this list this is the one that has the greatest tendency to throw out a bad episode or two, and too often the writing is awful. The fact that the universe they've created is rich enough to keep me involved is a testament to the underlying substance of the show, and it doesn't hurt that every time I've felt the show starting to lose me it comes back with an episode that I really enjoy to draw me back in for more.

Plus the Baltar character is tremendous, and almost offsets the fact that the President has completely overstayed her welcome and needs to die already.

Bonus plus: Any show that features a killer Bob Dylan song (all along the watchtower) as a plot driver gets bonus points.

Dollhouse: Its early but I'm cautiously optimistic just because its a Whedon show. Plus I read an interview with Eliza dushku who says it really picks up in the sixth episode so I'm willing to stick around until at least then. The two episodes I've seen have indicated that the show has the potential to be something interesting but so far I haven't been blown away. Still, given the pedigree I'm willing to ride it out.

Scrubs: I really can't say why I stick with this show. It keeps telling essentially the same jokes, the characters have all developed to a point where we aren't going to see anything new and, unlike most shows I like, its definitely been allowed to run its course (I wouldn't have been devastated if it got cancelled two seasons ago). But for some reason I keep watching. There's nothing particularly ground breaking or incisive about it, but I still enjoy the characters, cast chemistry, and the familiarity it provides. I guess what I'm saying is I'll probably ride it out until it gets cancelled (if it ever does) but I'm not real sure why.

In Memoriam

Pushing Daisies: Got Cancelled this season so I'm including it. Really in some ways its amazing that this show about a pie maker with the ability to wake the dead was able to last even one and a half seasons. The defining characteristic of the show was whimsy, and even given the dark premise it managed to stay completely light and quirky while existing in a kind of day glo reality that was truly unique. Plus this was one of the few shows I would make a point to watch when it aired just because I wanted to make sure to see it in HD. The sets and color design were inventive (and bright) and probably made it one of the all time great shows to watch while high (so I've heard). The show's dialogue also had its own unique cadence that added to the charm, and each episode had at least one or two lines that made me laugh out loud. Allegedly there are still three unaired episodes so I'm looking forward to whenever ABC decides to run them so I can least get a little more of this distinctive show.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Walk The Line/Walk Hard

I caught the beginning of walk the line while I was working and I realized how the film is pretty much unwatchable after having seen Walk Hard. For those of you that haven't seen it (and shame on you) Walk Hard follows fictional musician Dewy Cox as he finds success, failure, love, a monkey, hell on earth and ultimately redemption. The film mercilessly parodies biopics in general, but really nails Walk the Line in particular (partially because it follows that film's broad plot outlines). I just couldn't watch Walk the Line without having bits of Walk Hard playing in my head:

"The Wrong Kid Died/The Wrong kid Died"
"You don't want any of this shit"
"Machete Fight"
"This is a dark FUCKING period!"

Dewy: She lost her balance... and fell out the window... and then the radio crushed her head?
Pa Cox: While she was dancing to your song. I thought you should know what your music does. It kills people. You made her happy, and it killed her. If Nate was alive this never would of happened.
[as he's leaving]
Pa Cox: Wrong kid died!

Eddie Vedder: If Elvis and Buddy Holly are the Cain and Abel of rock and roll, Bruce Springsteen is Zachariah, Iggy Pop is Methuselah, and, of course, Neil Young is the wise prophet Ezekiel, then what does that make Dewey Cox?

"Prison has changed me. I understand the common man the way I never did before. I gotta get out of here! So I can bring joy to the men back in here, but I don't wanna live with them! "

Really I defy anyone to watch Walk Hard and be able to take any bit of Walk the line seriously ever again. I almost feel like we should take back the Oscars it won and give them to Walk Hard.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Zardoz

This is more of a what I need to be watching post but wow, I really really want this DVD now:

Monday, February 16, 2009

Step Brothers

There's a Blockbuster a block away from my apartment and about once a month they do a four for $20 DVD sale. I am unable to pass this up even though the inevitable time crunch happens and I have stacks of unwatched DVD's sitting around (a good portion of which are some random titles that I picked up to fill up my four). This is one step in a continual effort to get through the monstrosity.

Additional preamble: Event though this film is in my stack I actually watched my buddy's blu-ray copy at his house so this may not technically count as reducing my inventory. Whatever, I'm counting it. My Blog my rules. Suck It.

Will Ferrel is the very definition of a mixed bag for me (wow two reviews in a row where I have a mixed opinion about an actor - shocking I know. You know what I don't have a mixed opinion about? Strawberry scones, nothing equivicable about the goodness of scones). I don't find him inherently funny on his own, and while he's done some films I've enjoyed (Stranger than Fiction, Zoolander), there's also plenty I couldn't stand (Old School, Melinda and Melinda), and a whole bunch I couldn't even bring myself to see (Kicking and Screaming, Bewitched). The overgrown fratboy/blowhard schtick that he seems to run out in 90% of his roles doesn't do much for me, and generally causes me to end up getting bored (I can level the same criticism at Adam Sandler's man child act). Still I think Farrel has the potential to be funny, and the fact that John C. Reilly was in this gave me some hope that the film would be a winner, and I have to say that it was.

Reilly and Ferrel play forty something men, Dale and Brenden, who've never moved out from their single father and mother's houses respectively. Neither of them have ever held any gainful employment, and generally behave like they have the brains of fifteen year old boys (really if this wasn't a comedy you would think these characters were mentally retarded and Farrel and Reilly would be gunning for Oscars) The parents, played by Richard Jenkins and Mary Steenburgen, meet fall in love, and end up moving in together. Brenden and Dale first hate each other, fight a lot, then end up becoming friends which is an even more destructive relationship to those around them. That's the set up and all you really need to know. There's lots of crudity, fighting, slapstick, kids getting beaten up, kids beating adults up, Will Ferrel's scrotum, and Mary Steenburgen cursing (which while enjoyable takes a distance second place to Betty White in Lake Placid in the pantheon of formally staid actresses swearing up a blue streak for my amusement).

One driver of the film's success is that it realizes the inherent ridiculousness of the set up and doesn't try to justify. It doesn't even try that hard to explain why the main characters would still be living at home, and just runs the scenario through more and more outrageous situations, which generally include somebody getting hit (always funny), or Brenden having a ninja sword with Randy Jackson's autograph on the blade.

The film also thankfully buck the recent trend in comedies to have the characters go through some emotional transformation at the end of a film they've spent acting like children and generally non-contributing members of society in some sort of effort to get the audience to feel sympathetic and not disgusted by the character's previous behavior (I call it the Apatow syndrome). I'm all for trying to add depth to a comedy but too often the tonal shifts just feel cheap and kill any comedic momentum the film had going for it. Step Brothers avoids this trap by keeping its meanness level high throughout (its really a pretty twisted film when you sit down and think about it) and having Dale and Brenden learn absolutely nothing and stay pretty much stay in the same state of Arrested Development in which they began the film. This allows the viewer to just enjoy the absurdity of the situation and not have to deal with any unearned dramatic shifts.

The film isn't perfect, several of the jokes fall flat (the sleepwalking gag in particular doesn't work for me), and there are a few points where you have to roll your eyes at some of the absurdity. However, it hits much more than it misses, and has lots of nice touches like a Billy Joel cover band that will only play Joel songs from the late eighties. Ferrel and Reilly play well off of each other and they even caused me to 'like' what are really pretty screwed up characters. Plus the climatic scene involves a Drum Set, Josh Groban, and, while we at "What I'm Watching" tend to avoid the use of gratuitous profanity in our reviews since we find it leads to lazy writing and dilution of the words' impact (and more importantly I'm just not very good at it, seriously some people can paint a tapestry using nothing but the F bomb, I end up sounding like a petulant thirteen year old) I just have to say it: The Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer (just trust me its great)




Gran Torino

Let me just say this up front - Clint knocks this performance out of the park. Seriously. I've had mixed emotions about the esteemed Mr. Eastwood in the past, generally finding his performances (and direction) to be a mixed bag. For every Mystic River or Million Dollar Baby, there's a Blood Work, Space Cowboys or, at the risk of being beaten to death by film critics everywhere, Unforgiven. Fortunately this performance falls into the former group (the film doesn't but I'll get onto that later). Clint plays a retired auto worker/Korean war veteran who's wife has died at the beginning of the film. All his old friends have either died or moved out of the neighborhood to be replaced by immigrants, and his kids & grandkids disrespect everything he holds dear (they even drive toyota SUV's!) Oh yeah he's also a racist, but a likable one. He spouts epitaths and racial generalties throughout the film, but we never get the impression that he'd go out and burn a cross. One more thing - he has lots of guns (of course he does). You can kind of think of his character as Dirty Harry crossed with the racist old lady I used to live next to who greeted my roomate and I by saying 'I'm so happy you guys moved in. You never know what kind of people will move in...or what color they'll be.' That's right San Bernardino bringing the races together for hundreds of years.

Anyway, Clint's chracter really justs wants to be left alone to drink and whatnot, but he ends up saving the neighbor immigrant boy and his sister from being accosted by various gangs, and eventually finds some connection with them, etc - you get the idea. The reason to watch the film is Clint, he has all the snarls, exasperated expressions, and stink eyes that define his cahracter down cold. In particular the slow burn he does as his kids try to convince him to move out and go to a retirement community is priceless and probably worth the price of admission alone.

Unfortunately his performance is about the only thing to recommend the film. The portrayals of his kids and the various immigrant groups are less than subtle to say the least, and apparently Clint decided to cast amateurs to play all the immigrant chracters which turns out to be a fatal mistake. The kid he has playing the main immigrant boy is particularly bad, and he ends up killing any emotional undercurrent the film might of had. Also the aforementioned broadness of characterizations extends to film's story as a whole and creates a clunkiness that undermines its efforts to be a metaphor about society's changes as embodied by the city of Detroit (how's that for sounding prententious).

So to sum up: Clint's performance is tremendously satisfying, the rest of the film -not so much. Probably worth a rental at some point though as he's compelling enough to keep you fairly entertained throughout.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Cliffhanger

I am ashamed to admit but I had never seen Cliffhanger before tonight. I didn't even intend to watch it now I was just killing some time before watching the premiere of Dollhouse (guess I'll be catching that this weekend), saw that it was on and got completely sucked in. It has all the ingredients of a great eighties action film, to wit:

-A hero who suffers a tragedy at the beginning of the film (in this case Stallone being unable to save his friend's wife during a rescue attempt) and the guilt wracks him to such a degree he just can't go back to work (mountain rescue). But he's pulled back in for one last job because nobody else can do what he can.
-An tremendously over the top (but in the right way, think Alan Rickman in Die Hard) bad guy (played by John Lithgow) who thinks nothing of disposing of henchman whenever it suits his purposes
-Ridiculous fight scenes (Stallone rides one of the disposable henchman like a sled down a slope and then throws him over the edge)
-Acting that's just good enough so you don't start completely laughing, but not so good that you actually start to think too hard about the character motivations.
-I also really enjoyed the economy of the plot. Lithgow and company try to perform a mid air robbery of a treasury plane, it goes bad, and they end up stranded in the mountains with the three containers (with helpful beacons) strewn about the peaks. They call in a false distress call and Stallone is roped in to help his old friend go and save them. They're captured, Stallone gets away, and its a race to see who can get to the containers first (while stallone tries to keep his buddy and wife/girlfirend alive). That's it, no other plots or metaphors to clutter things up, just alot of grunting, flexing, hitting people with Ice Axes, military pressing bad guys into stalagtites, and dare I say hanging from cliffs. I love it.
-The obligatory black henchman isn't even the first one to die
-They most definitely went to slow mo and cut out the sound for the killing of one of the characters and then let him die in one of the protagonists arms:
Hank:(anguished yell) This Man never hurt anybody
Lithgow: (possibly kicking a kitten)touching, crystal check the chopper.
-There may or may not be a scene where a shirtless stallone is trapped under the ice and shoots the bad guy through the ice with some sort of rappelling gun.
-The film ends with stallone essentially lassoing lithgow's helicopter to the side of a mountain, and causing it to crash. Stallone and lithgow then engage in hand to hand combat while hanging from a rope ladder (don't worry about how they got there), which Stallone wins by biting Lithgow, and sending him to his death.

To steal a line from Adam Carolla this truly is a basic cable classic. I'm ashamed that its taken this much time for me to see it.

O Brother Where Art Thou

I just caught the last twenty minutes of this on television for the first time in probably five years, and I'd forgotten what an enjoyable and compulsively re watchable film it is. The music is infectious, the performances quirky without being annoying (I particularly enjoy the Clooney character's efforts to speak in an intellectually elevated matter but never quite being able to pull it off), and it really just has the right mix of comic energy and fable elements to keep you smiling (even in those moments when Baby Face Nelson is dancing his way to the electric chair, or the main characters crashing of a KKK rally).

The film reinforces two points for me as well:

1) This has been said before by others more articulate than me, but its readily apparent that George Clooney is a great character actor trapped in a leading mans body (the same thing could be said for Alec Baldwin to a lesser extent). He has consistently chosen projects that aren't the most commerically viable (Solaris, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Good Night and Good Luck, Three Kings) but apparently keep him interested, but you wouldn't necessarily place him in at first inspection. Really could you see Tom Cruise in a quasi musical set in the deep south and loosely based on Homer's The Odyssey?

2) The Coen brothers are at heart screwballs, and I mean that as a complement. This is actually a difficult film to pull off, and their ability to maintain a consistently engaging lighthearted tone (hows that for mixing adjectives) in a story that isn't the most linear, and actually contains a fair amount of dark elements (the aforementioned execution walk and lynch mob, as well as the Devil chasing our heroes throughout the film and almost executing them before they are saved by a divine flood, oh and spoiler alert) is impressive. In fact as much as I enjoy the majority of their work (No Country for Old Men bein gthe exception) I think their comedies hold up the best, but even their more serious work contains a certain manic undercurrent that has you smiling even in plots where absolute carnage is going on (see Fargo for a prime example of this).

Anyway check the film out if you haven't seen it before, and I need to go and rewatch the whole thing.

Monday, February 9, 2009

One Tree Hill

Ahh back to our favorite Carolinians:

-So this episode involved the casting of Lucas' film, which of course has to happen in North Carolina and involve all the 'real life' characters being involved. Hilarity ensues, for example:
i) The casting assistant doesn't believe the 'real' Peyton is actually the real person and not some method actress, so she has to spend time with all her teenage doppelgangers, this is show is Charlie Kaufman-esque.
ii) The actress playing Brooke decides she needs to spend all her time with Brooke, and follows her around to learn how she was such a slut in high school. Again Hilarity ensues
iv) We learn that James Van Der Beek's character previously made a film called Trouser Hound'
Actress: I Loved Trouser hound by the way
Van Der Beek: He loves you too (glints eye, snaps finger and points)
v) Montages of various actresses reading for Peyton while reciting what I'm sure was important lines from earlier seasons.

-More Van Der Beek Gems: 'Go with the girl with the nice rack,' 'This place is dead anyways - Swingers' (that's right they have him talk in movie dialougue), plus my favorite after Brooke walks out on Julian he leans over and says 'Don't worry I know where you can find five more that look just like her.' I'm so happy his career was dead enough to take this job

-Man Jaime is annoying. This time his subplot has him trying to pick up a fellow four year old in his pre-school class, and of course the ex-con brother killing Dan is helping him do it. I can't emphasize how annoying this character is, and I mean even annoying for a little kid actor. Somebody needs to run him over with a steam roller. Seriously.
-Of course he ends up inviting his teacher over and tries to hit on her at Dan's beach house ('so when you stop to think of it when does the sidewalk end'), did I mention how much I hate this chracter. It even gets more tedious when he gets mad at Dan for moving in on his woman (yelling 'He was in Prison' and running off).
-The basketball subplot continues to amaze as the D-League team coach decides to start Nathan over the 20 ppg best player, because he is a team player and the other is guy is just concerned with making the NBA. And instead of just benching the guy, the coach cuts him outright. Riiiiight, I'm sure the NBA team playing the other guy's salary is extatic about that about that development. Because we know the D-League exists to put together cohesive teams and not develope talent. Plus we learn the guy has a small child and a baby on the way, so nathan of course has conflicted feelings.
-Skills (the shows one recurring black chracter) is of course the town's baby proofer (seriously this is a job? And this is something that's never been mentioned before. Of course he does it in a hip manner. I'm still deciding if this the chracter's portrayal is racist or not.
-In the episodes 'very special' storyline, Haley has to decide whether to publish Sam's essay in the paper against the principal's wishes (too many mature themes, plus the principal's name is Remkiss somehow that seems appropriate). Of course she publishes it, Sam gets a boost of self confidence, but will there be ramifications for Haley??? Stay tuned
-Hey I just learned from the fun fact box that Skills was a passenger in the infamous "Da, Da, Da" Volkswagen commercial. I'm not sure this show is a vertical move (who am I kidding of course it is)

-Of course the Fray is playing underneath the last scene.

So anyways this episode's score out of ten: 14

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Charlie Wilson's War

There's a Blockbuster a block away from my apartment and about once a month they do a four for $20 DVD sale. I am unable to pass this up even though the inevitable time crunch happens and I have stacks of unwatched DVD's sitting around (a good portion of which are some random titles that I picked up to fill up my four). This is one step in a continual effort to get through the monstrosity.

I actually saw Charlie Wilson's War when it came out in theaters and was curious to see how it held up on repeat viewing. I am a huge Aaron Sorkin fan evidenced by the fact that I think The West Wing is one of television's great series, and even though it had its flaws I consider the premature cancellation of Studio 60 as one of the great injustices (right after the cancellation of Firefly and Pushing Daisies) in television history. This is just a long way of saying you can say I was predisposed to enjoying the film.

One of the joys of watching a Sorkin production for me is the dialogue. Much like Woody Allen films, I don't care what the subject matter is as much as I just enjoy hearing the style in which the film written. If anything the actors are just vehicles for the writing, and as a result its sometime a mistake for too high profile an actor to be in his productions since they often have too many familiar mannerisms to let the material breathe. In this case the concern surrounded Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts (we all know Phillip Seymour Hoffman would rock), and I think Hanks pulls it off, Roberts not so much. She wasn't horrible, but it just never looked like she was quite comfortable with the role. I do think part of this impression has to with the fact that I her chracter to be the least essential to the plot and as a result the least interesting.

Otherwise the film is solid all the way through. Its a nice example of Sorkin's work, and the scene in Hank's office the first time he an Hoffman's character meet is one of the best written and acted sequences you'll see in a movie. The main drawbacks are when the film tries to deal with the story's big historical issues which, due to the film's time limitations, it it has to do in a fairly superficial manner. This is a minor quibble though that didn't significantly detract from my viewing enjoyment. The film has a compelling story, with interesting characters and excellent dialougue. Its worth your time especially if you enjoyed Sorkin's previous work.

Anyway that's one down in the stack, way too many to go.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Taken

Look this is not a great film, and from an objective standpoint its difficult to say its even a good film, but it does represent a certain type of film that I have a soft spot for, and as a result I found Taken to be fairly entertaining. Its one of those films where the plot and character development are really incidental to enjoyment of the film, but rather they just revel in their excess and complete ridiculousness of their lead character who increasingly blows his way through increasingly implausible situations in order to achieve some kind of goal which is really minor in the grand scheme of things, but very personal to him (see Shoot Em Up for a prime recent example of this type of thing). In this vein taken does the following things correctly:

-Reintroduces the one punch knockout. There aren't really any extended one on one fight scenes here. Liam Neeson usually just runs into a group of multiple attackers and proceeds to quickly eliminate each of them quickly with either a karate chop to the neck, or a single shot. I like this, if your premise is that the protagonist is some unstoppable force why even bother making it look like he can be defeated?
-No negotiation - just shooitng in the head. And if shooting in an innocent person (in the arm) means he'll be able to get closer to completing his mission - he's willing to do that.
-The Britney Spears clone singer that Neeson has to protect at the beginning of the film (from a knife wielding fan), her name? Sheera. If you don't think I immediately started screaming in my head, then you obviously don't know me.
-Somebody gets decapitated by a bulldozer
-The speech he gives to his daughter as she's being kidnapped by Albanian Sex Traffickers (damn albanians) - solid (and to be honest probably the only worhtwhile piece of dialougue in the film)


There unfortunately were some drawbacks:
-First of all this should have been a hard R film. Going the PG-13 route is a mistake with these type of films. The only way to do these exploitation films correctly is to completely go for it, blood, guts, super high body count (actually they have the last one taken care of here), etc.
-On a related note there is one point of the film where they should completely embrace the insanity and don't. Neeson is sitting at a Marina gunning the engine of a car as a boat he wants to get on gets away, and instead of doing the logical thing and jumping the car onto the boat he chases it on side streets and then jumps onto it from the top of a bridge. Its passing up these kind of opportunities that keeps Taken from being truly transcendent.

Still you throw in a completely unsympathetic daughter, corrupt cop, and ridiculous plot turns, and taken is still a pretty entertaining ride (unsuprising since it was Co-Written by Luc Besson who usually is nothing if no tinteresting). Or maybe its just that I was so stained by Underworld that anything I saw next was going to seem great.

Oh, and I'm sort of excited to see this.

Bonus Point for the ending: Who's Driving the Boat?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Timeline of the first six minutes of the viewing experience:

3 min: Check the watch for the first time
5 min: After seeing the surprisingly cheap (and not endearingly cheap) werewolf effects, for the first, but not last time, I entertain the thought "why didn't I stay home and watch groundhog day on FX?"
5:30 min: Wonder why David Frost (Michael Sheen) is running around bare chested and wearing an inverted spike dog collar?
5:32 min: Realize I don't care at all
6 min: Check watch for the first time and have the captain turn on "Please completely and utterly stop caring" sign

And so on

Look, its not like I expected much out of the film. I think I saw the first one several years ago, and all I remember is that Kate Beckinsdale and Bill Nighy were vampires, she falls in love with a werewolf, and for some reasons uzis were prominently involved so I don't see this installment leaving any more of a lasting impression. Its not that the film was bad, bad I can deal with, particularly if a film is so bad its awful (thank you Armaggedon), this was just incredibly boring. When dealing with a story that is really just Vampires fighting Werewolves boring should be the last feeling a viewer is left with. Wasting time trying to build up a convoluted back story is dumb (unless you have a really good writer - not the case here), when you really should be reveling in the inherent ridiculousness of the scenario and giving people kick ass fight scenes and loads of killing (see Blade 2 for the ultimate example of this). When more time is spent discussing the internal politics of the ancient vampire coven than there is fighting its probably a bad sign (though given how badly these fight scenes were staged it may have been the right choice). I don't even want to bother going into the logical holes in the plot, or inconsistent character actions, its not worth it. Really, boredom aside, I'm really not that annoyed. There was no sign that a better film could have been made with the material on hand so I don't feel any frustration about that. Plus its difficult to feel like I was intellectually disappointed by a film featuring count chocula fighting snoopy on steroids. This was just a product that generated complete and utter boredom, do with that what you will.

Oh I did have to sit through this so I guess I am angry (slams head into desk)