True Grit

I went into this film with moderate expectations. The Coen brothers have been a bit hit or miss for me (loved O Brother and Millers Crossing for example, hated Burn After Reading) and I don't remember the John Wayne original being that amazing. So when it turned out that True Grit was actually incredibly entertaining I was pleasantly surprised. In some ways my expectations made it the exact opposite experience of when I saw the Fighter. For that film I went in expecting great and got good, here I was expecting decent and got very good.

The film is unapologetically a 'western' in the classical sense. It has a very basic story with a clear conflict (little girl tries to get revenge for her father's death) and has none of the irony or revisionism which characterize the more recent entries of the genre. What really makes True Grit work though is the dialog and a killer lead performance from Hailee Steinfield as Mattie ross. Everyone in the film talks a calm mannered tone that gives the proceedings a lyrical air and sense of calm even when violence is breaking out. Combine that with a wicked sense of humor and the script elevates the proceedings above what could have been a very traditional story.

While Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon have the two flashiest roles (and they're great) they could have been filled by a number of actors, but the role of Mattie is key. She's the emotional center of the film, and if you don't buy her motivations the whole thing falls apart. Steinfield nails the role and I shudder to think what would have happened if a Miley Cyrus type played it. The only question I had afterwards was what character was a bigger bad-ass Mattie or hit-girl from Kick-Ass? This of course assumes no weapons...but I digress.

The film's a little bloated in parts, but overall its a fun ride marked by good performances and a well written script. In that sense its much like Yogi Bear.

tron:legacy

Meh

Rabbit Hole

The film is centered on a couple (Nicole Kidman & Aaron Eckhart) whose son was killed eight months earlier chasing the family dog into the street. Basically the film portrays how tragedy has affected them (not well) and how they try to deal with the grief. Given the subject matter it would have been surprising had the film not been intense and, occasionally, uncomfortably bleak, but its difficult to say if its really the films quality that invokes the emotional reactions in the audience, or if its just the inherent nature of the subject. In some ways the film is very conventional in how it hits all the beats of grief (anger, acceptance, leading to maybe some hope, etc) and nothing that new is conveyed. What it does have going for it is some nice moments of humor which actually feel organic when they could have very easily been out of place.

Its a tough film at times, and I'm not sure its really fun to watch. It does have two really meaty roles at its core, which both actors tear into, and at least tries to deal with some serious issues. I wouldn't necessarily avoid it because of the subject matter, but I can't say that I learned anything dramatic either. Though I've never had anything happen to me that would bring about this level of grief (other than the time sobarro's was out of pizza sticks) so my lack of engagement could have just been a result of my generally shallow nature.

The Fighter

I need to say right up front that I liked the fighter. Its a satisfactory sports film that features strong performances (from Christian Bale and Amy Adams in particular) and delivers a generally entertaining story. That preamble was necessary because the next paragraph is going to make it sound like I'm much more down on the film than I actually am.

Most of my disappointment stems from the fact that I had such high expectations going in. Expectations driven mainly by the presence of the director - David O. Russel. Russel has made a career making quirky, darkly funny, movies (Flirting with Disaster, Three Kings, I heart huckabees) and I was anxious to see how he would apply his sensibility to the sports genre. Therefore when he delivered what is very much a conventional sports film I felt a little let down. Like I alluded to before, he executes those conventions at a higher level than most sports films (the cast helps) and the whole thing is generally entertaining (though it seems to be getting a little overrated in the press). I was just hoping for great and ended up with good.

Miscellany:

-The boxing scenes were fine, though nothing special. I couldn't get a sense of whether or not Whalberg could really box because of the way they shot it, he wasn't distractingly bad though which is generally the best you can hope for.

-The one performance that has been overrated is Melissa Leo's as the mother. The character is generally one note and broad, and her seven daughters exist solely to fulfill every 'Bawston' stereotype known to man. It doesn't kill the film but did feel a little out of place.

-I was a little surprised they didn't climax with Mickey Ward's fights against Arturo Gatti, those are what really put him on the map.

Black Swan

This was a really ballsy film to make. Darren Aranofsky basically set out to produce a twisted version of Swan Lake, set it around an actual production of Swan Lake for the stage, and infuse the story with the hyper-emotion, out-sized acting, and visceral energy of an opera. Combine that with his trademark stylized approach, as well as an examination of the artistic process and how it can destroy its practitioners, and you get a film that walks a fine line between over-the top ludicrousness and exhilarating art. While not completely successful at maintaining the balance, its in general fairly mesmerizing and has several moments (the climax in particular) that manage to harness all its disparate elements into an audacious and electrifying concoction (I think we've reached out pretension level for the evening).

I can see how this film could be divisive (and there was a section of the audience at my screening who were actively laughing at key moments), and really have no idea how it will play for general audiences. However if you accept it for what it is, and revel in its excess and audacity I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

The Warrior's Way

I went into this with fairly low expectations. It appeared to be basically Cowboys vs. Ninjas, and I thought it should at least be able to present some modest entertainment on the visceral level present in that premise. I could not have been more wrong. The film is a complete misfire on every level. Its bad. Not laughably bad, or even a fascinating fiasco, just bad. I cannot not recommend even seeing this on a mocking level since its the kind of thing you feel like you could mock, but can't be bothered to because you're bored. Really its a film that wants to look like it was directed by Zach Snyder, but didn't feel like paying for him. It tries really hard to be stylish and 'cool' but all you really end up seeing is the effort with no payoff. Kind of like the nerdy kid in high school (who may or may not have been me) who finally gets invited to a party, tries to act like he thinks the 'cool' kids do, but tries too hard and ends up just making everyone feel sad. The action scenes don't even deliver much in the way of enjoyment as they unfold with the perfunctory nature of a video game - See Ninjas/Cowboys, kill ninjas/cowboys, rinse repeat.

I can't even be bothered to talk about this anymore. Just avoid it.

Tangled

I rarely go see kids films in the theater anymore. Its not just because I'm cold, heartless, and have forgotten what it is to feel joy, but rather I know how creepy it is for an old guy to go watch the latest animated release by himself. What this means is that I miss trailers for films marketed specifically for children so I never see the ads for what I'm sure are amazing projects like this or this or god help me this. Seriously I weep for parents with small children. Its too bad they don't have quality entertainment options like i had growing up. To Wit.

Anyway back to the matter at hand. Tangled is a pretty straight up old school Disney animated film (despite the fact that its computer animation) and hues closely to those conventions. It takes a public domain fairy tale (in this case Rapunzel) throws in a few songs, some anthropomorphic animal sidekicks, a life affirming ending, and really (aside from the animation) wouldn't have been out of place in the fifties. This isn't a bad thing. Its nice to see a kids film not loaded with instantly dated pop-culture gags, and it doesn't overstretch the confines of the story. Its not as clever as the best pixar films, but as traditional animated feature its fine, and generally has a nice sense of humor about itself. It is about ten minutes too long, and the songs aren't particularly memorable, but its entertaining and a nice addition to the Disney canon. If there's any justice in the world it will do three times the business of that soon to be abomination Yogi Bear 3-d. (Note from future self "there is not justice.")

Hot Dog The Movie

When I saw that this was On demand my curiosity got the best of me. Supposedly this is the quintessential 'snobs vs slobs' eighties ski film that has been so mercilessly parodied over the years. That's not quite true, its more of a wannabe sports film, but the odd thing was that I knew exactly what was going to happen just from watching all the satires. The film doesn't help itself by seeming like a farce itself (one of the big ski sequences is a competition where they actually do a dance routine on skis down the mountain, I guess I missed that at the last Olympics) and the level of acting, and writing, is shockingly bad (when Shannon tweed is acting circles around your leads that's not a good sign). Really, not just bad, but laughably inept. I guess the equivalent of these type of films currently would be American Pie and their ilk but even those films display a level of competence that is completely lacking from Hot Dog.

However the one thing that sort keeps you involved is the complete lack of irony. You can tell the filmmakers really thought they were making an inspiring underdog story, and really wanted you to hate the evil Europeans (yes not Russians, Europeans). This lack of cynicism in the face of overwhelming incompetence is actually fairly mesmerizing and almost makes you ignore the casual misogyny, and borderline sociopathic tendencies of the 'scruffy' protagonists. Not enthralling enough for me to want to revisit Hot Dog (or its cousins) any time soon, but still an interesting viewing experience.

Unstoppable

Since I'm tired of writing plot recaps lets steal yahoo's:
A veteran engineer (Denzel Wahshington) and a young conductor (Chris Pine) try frantically to stop a run-away half-mile long freight train carrying enough combustible liquids and poisonous gas to wipe out a nearby city. Inspired by true events.

Inspired by true events huh? That must mean it was inspired by that time your mom went to an all you can eat buffet (zing!). Also since Denzel's in it shouldn't we just call the film Runaway Train-ing day? Good one Eric.

Overall Unstoppable is pretty much what you'd expect from a runaway train movie. The train gets loose in the first fifteen minutes (mainly because a fat guy can't run fast enough to catch it when its barely moving, something else we can blame on obesity) and then they chase it. Since the train can't really be sneaky or twirl its mustache we also get its corporate owners who only care about their bottom line and not how many lives are going to lost, blah blah blah. Look the film hits the expected beats, it thankfully isn't too long (if Michael Bay had made this it would have been two and a half hours) and Denzel and Chris Pine have a nice rapport. Tony Scott almost ruins it with his constant cutting (seriously heaven forbid you stay on a shot long enough so we can see what's happening), but overall its enjoyable if forgettable.

Now there is one thing I have to address that might be considered a spoiler (though if you're surprised by any development in this film you probably think Thomas Kinkade makes great art). We learn early on that Chris Pine's wife is estranged from him, won't let him see their kid, won't answer the phone, etc. Well the minute she sees him on TV saving the day guess who suddenly decides to come running and be all lovey dovey? Its the most blatant example of a shallow wife this side of Will Patton's in Armageddon (the chick who won't even let his kid know that he's his father, but once he gets back from saving the world guess she's more than ready to claim paternity). Look lady if you're so afraid of your husband you take a restraining order out on him (something the film sort of glosses over) the fact that he's suddenly famous shouldn't suddenly make you want to run back into his arms. Who are you a Kardashian? In reality Chris Pine would have given her the straight arm and started hooking up with either Rosario Dawson's character or Denzel's two college age daughters who work at hooters (yeah they actually had them working at hooters. I think the crew just wanted to shoot b-roll there and needed a reason).

Beautiful Girls

I vaguely remember seeing this in college and thinking it was alright, and after watching it again I guess its still okay but probably a bit to full of itself.



Let me just give you the ONDEMAND recap for the plot:


A young man on the verge of marriage returns to his hometown to reconsider, hanging out with his old pals and seeing the ruts they're stuck in.


Its written by Scott Rosenberg who covered similar in his adaptation of High Fidelity, but with much more subtlety and humor in the latter work. The first problem is that Natalie Portman plays the world's most well-spoken, all knowing 13 year old who constantly comments on the action and represents the ideal woman to the main character Timothy Hutton (which actually is kind of creepy). It also doesn't help that one of the film's big points is that men are avoid commiting to normal women because of some pipe dream about landing a super model. However the fact that the supposed average women in the film are played by Mira Sorvino, Lauren Holly, Annabeth Gish, and Rosie O'donnel (okay the last one works) sort of mutes the point. But whatever this is hollywood, I've worked in Beverly Hills and the average isn't far from what the film portrays. The biggest problem is that every character (including Michael Rappaport) feels the need to speechify all the time, with no real sense of humor either. Its not completely uninteresting, but it feels overbearing after awhile. Part of my problem is probably that I never felt the late 20's malaise often portrayed in these type of films, which would of course require me to you know care about stuff which we all know is ridiculous (except for hummus, I do love me some hummus).


Also what is with these towns that apparently only allow one guy per high school class to move away? It seems like all these films feature a protagonist who returns home to see all his high school friends (who haven't left even though the town sucks, in my experience if the town is that bad you move but whatever) while he's in the midst of some existential crisis. I go home several times a year and most of my high school friends have moved on and I rarely learn a life changing lesson that shakes me out of my rut (except for that one time I learned how to be a drug charge, that was definitely life changing).

This is a corollary to the film towns that have one person who moves a way to big city, becomes absolutely insufferable, but after a dose of some good old fashioned rednecks they decide that they no longer want to live someplace that has museums, mass transit, and more than two restaurants. But I digress, Beautiful Girls has its moments it just tries way too hard to be profound.

Red/The Town

Red is a moderately entertaining film that falls into that zone where it doesn't suck, but I'm not sure its good enough to merit more than a tepid endorsement. The film follows retired CIA agent Bruce Willis, who is engaging in a flirtatious relationship with a government pension agent played by Mary Louise Parker. His idyll is interupted by a hit squad and he decides he needs to Kidnap parker since she may also be a target. He proceeds to get his old squad back together (Morgan freeman, Helen Mirren, John Malchovich, Brian Cox) as they try to figure out who's after him. Anyway when the film just coasts on the charm of its leads and lets them riff its actually pretty enjoyable, when it tries to be a hardcore action film everything falters. The film desperately wants to be both a humorous character piece, and a Zach Snyder-esque stylized action thriller. While it does passably well at the former, it fails at the second, and any time there's a big set piece the momentum grinds to a halt. Like I said its not horrible, and it is fun seeing a cast with as much history as this do an action comedy. Also I really liked that Mary Louise Parker didn't complain for the whole time about being kidnapped and taken on a mission. In fact she embraces it to an almost sociopathic degree in contrast to most Adrian Balboa-types we get who just whine whenever something cool happens.

One more thing, the only other people in theatre besides us were four middle aged single guys who sat in opposite ends of the theatre forming a square around us. It was kind of depressing actually. Maybe they're big Helen Mirren fans?

The Town

I'm writing this about a week after originally seeing the film and not much has really stuck with me. Oh its reasonably entertaining (even if the Boston accents are comically thick) and Ben Afleck does a decent job staging the action sequences, but everything about the plot is completely nonsensical and it becomes impossible to suspend disbelief. Really my brother and I were the only people in the theatre and we spent most of the climax wondering how stupid all the characters could be and didn't really care what happened to them. Also if you're going to cast Don Draper make sure you change his haircut, its way to distracting otherwise.

Whatever, its watchable but over all pretty disposable.

The Rock

The Rock was one of the first films I remember going and seeing with friends when I was in high school and of course as a high school male I absolutely loved it. More importantly I got a free VHS copy a few years later and probably watched it at least once a year through college (I had a lot of free time and no cable). To be fair this was well before Michael Bay had become as annoying as he is now and I was at the age where the film's blend of machismo, slow-motion, and Nic Cage was right in my wheelhouse (of course as you well know Nic Cage is always in my strike zone). Anyway its been probably a decade since I last saw it and when it turned up for free ONDEMAND I couldn't resist seeing if it still held up.

Now let it be said that this is not what would be conventionally called a 'great' film, but I'll be damned if it still isn't entertaining in its own way. Believe me, it still has enough Bay-isms and plot-holes to potentially kill it (constant edits, military action being shot as lovingly as a porn film, and all non-military black people talking with 'sass') but he was still early enough in his career where at least his more annoying tendencies were somewhat in check. More importantly the cast is just solid and they carry the film through its more ludicrous moments (which is appropriately most of it). I'm not just talking about the three leads (Nic Cage, Ed Harris, and Sean Connery) who go a long way to making you care, but the supporting cast is loaded with 'those guys' (John Spencer, John Morris, Michael Bien, John C McGinley, Vanessa Marcil, Claire Folriani, and the black guy from the Practice) that I couldn't help but smile.

Look the film is overwrought, illogical, and doesn't really hold up to scrutiny, I admit all that. But it still remains one of the three Michael Bay films I can actually tolerate (the others being Armageddon and Bad Boys), and the only one that I can say I enjoy even a bit un-ironically. Whether this has to do with the fact that I have such a history with the film, or an unnatural obsession with over-the-top Nic Cage (who am I kidding that's entirely natural) is tough to say, but I can't deny that almost fifteen years after its release its still reasonably entertaining.

'We got Green Smoke'

Waiting for superman

Wow, three in a row and not one Jackass, I must be slipping. Anyway Waiting for Superman is a documentary about the decaying school system in our country, and follows around five students who are trying to get win a lottery to enter high performing charter schools. Let me say upfront that I think the film does a decent job laying out the big issues in education right now, and I think it'll be an important conversation starter. I also generally agree that many of the problems described are valid (tenure starting to early, no way to pay teachers base don merit, union and bureaucratic inflexibility, etc) but there big solution of expanding the charter school model around the country has one big flaw the film doesn't acknowledge. Basically all the schools they hold up as models suffer from self-selection bias. Basically since its so hard to get in all the students there (and more importantly the parents) are motivated to do the work and succeed. Therefore its unsurprising that the test scores are higher since these are precisely the students that were probably going to be higher achievers regardless of situation. Now I don't doubt at all that the innovations at the schools help them channel their efforts more effectively, and could no doubt help other schools. I just think its dangerous to assume something is the magic bullet when it succeeds with a very select sub sample. I know this is somewhat missing the point, and obscures my general agreement with the film's message. But it is not an immaterial concern and one I think the filmmaker should have acknowledged more explicitly.

Important Annoucement

I just found out the director/writers of Crank 2 will be directing Nic Cage in Ghostrider 2. Also Cage will probably play two roles (one of them a demon Zarathos). Excitement. Level. Growing.

Easy A

After another ten hour day writing about deferred taxes and seeing presentations about the variance decomposition of stock returns, I decided to burn an hour and a half, and Easy A happened to be starting in 10 minutes. Of course being a Wednesday night (and the film has been out for a few months) I was the only one in the theater. Now even though it has been very well reviewed, I won't deny that it felt a little odd sitting alone watching what was ostensibly a teen comedy. Though a lot of the discomfort might have come from the fact that my pants were off. What do you want me to say, it was no pants wednesday. Hate the game not the playa.

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier the critical reception for the film has been generally positive and I'd say that overall I agree. The supporting cast is absolutely loaded (Stanley Tucci, Patricia Clarkson, Malcolm McDowell, Thomas Haden Church, Lisa Kudrow, Fred Armenson) and Emma Stone gives a really enjoyable performance as the lead character. The film also manages to play with the familiar tropes of the genre and maintain a suitably irreverent tone as it went through a story that could have very easily been an incredibly conventional comedy starring the cast of Gossip Girl. This isn't to say everything's perfect. The character played by Amanda Bynes is too much of a caricature, and the film stumbles a bit as it approaches its resolution and has to play things more conventional. Still, overall its enjoyable and the performances carry it a long way. Now I have to go find my pants. That's what She Said. There's no Time.

Hereafter

I'm beginning to think Clint Eastwood is a bit overrated as a filmmaker. I'm not saying he's worthless, or the films are without merit, but maybe we should just step back and stop acting like everything he pumps out is a national treasure. Lets take a look at his recent filmography shall we:

Invictus - Not bad, but a little full of itself and formulaic

Gran Torino - Great lead performance from Clint, rest of the film pretty uneven

Million Dollar Baby - Again great performances, but I'm unsure how I feel about the ending and the way that Hilary Swank's family is portrayed borders on mencia level subtlety

Mystic River - I think this is one of the stronger ones, but overall I can't shale the feeling that it feels its a little more important than it actually is

Space Cowboys - Gold, exception that proves the rule

Unforgiven - I'll admit I've only seen this once and it was over a decade ago, but I remember feeling severely underwhelmed when all was said and done. Whatever

Anyway this brings us to his current offering, Hereafter, which I found to be tedious as all get out. The film's pace is languid to say the least, and I found myself paying a lot of attention to how much time was spent following people walking, or doing other similiarly mundane tasks. Never a good sign. The film reminded me a lot of the Brad Pitt vehicle Babel, in that it follows multiple 'seemingly' disconnected stories only to bring them all together in as contrived manner as possible at the end to make some grand point that it didn't earn. In Hereafter's case we have three different storylines, only one of which is even remotely interesting (Matt Damon as a legit psychic who really doesn't want to be). The other two (a boy who lost his twin in a car accident, and a french reporter who had a near death experience in a tsunami) just never connected with me, and for all the film's ruminations on what happens after we die nothing ever feels particularly profound. Really there's not even any debate that there is an afterlife as they make it perfectly clear that Damon's character can communicate the dead.

So yeah, the whole thing just didn't connect with me on any level. However if Clint decides to pony up for the Expendables sequel I'm there. Also I'm fully aware that when I see JAckass 3-D in a few weeks and give it a positive review it will confirm everything you ever thought about me.

The Social Network, Anvil

This is very much an Aaron Sorkin film, and how you feel about that is going to determine how much you enjoy it. For me its a positive, and had anybody else written it I probably wouldn't have been that interested about seeing a film framed around two intellectual property lawsuits. In Sorkin's hands though the story has the brisk, wordy, pacing of a Woody Allen film. I had a lot more to say about this earlier, but its been two weeks since I've seen it and now I don't feel like dancing for you guys. Its good, I'm sure the veracity is questionable, and its really annoying that Justin Timberlake is enjoyable. Can't that guy suck at something? Wait he wrote Sexy Back, so I guess he sucks at music. Nevermind.

Anvil: The Story of Anvil

This documentary follows a real canadian heavy metal man, Anvil, 25 years after they had their brief brush with notoriety. The film itself isn't really that well made (its pretty obvious where certain scenes have been replayed for the camera), but the two main guys aggressively trying to still make it as rock stars when reality is abviously against them are so compelling that the films shortcoming almost don't matter. Seriously these guys are such true believers that it took me a few minutes to realize that this wasn't a parody. If you see it playing on VH-1 between replays of Rock of Love check it out.

Get Low

I'm in the middle of bunkering up on a project and as a result I decided to go see a film and try to not think about valuation allowances for a few hours. Of course I chose one about a 1920's hermit (Robert Duvall) who decides he wants to have a living funeral so he can finally reveal the dark secret he's held for the past 40 years. Needless to say the film didn't feature enough shiny objects to complete enrapture me so its entirely possible that my entire reaction to was driven by my inability to focus.

All that said, the film didn't do much for me. Don't get me wrong the performances are generally solid (it would be surprising if they weren't given that the cast featured Duvall, Sissy Spacek, and Major Dad himself gerald McCraney) and I kind of liked its understated approach, but ultimately I couldn't help that feel the film felt it was much more profound than it actually was. The big denoucement actually didn't feel that shocking, and I never got that involved in Duvall's predicament (such that it was). Also the film features Bill Murray as the funeral director organizing the party and the casting ends up feeling generally distracting. Not because he does a bad job, he probably does as much as is possible with an underwritten part, but given his stature (and billing) you keep expecting much more to happen with a character that is essentially the fourth lead. I think the story would have been better served casting someone with less juice that I wouldn't have been distracted by waiting for something more to happen with the character.

Anyway, it could be that Get Low is truly a classic and my project induced ADD kept me from realizing it. I guess the lesson is when distracted go see something that doesn't require a lot of concentration like say...your mom.

Machete

Machete is an interesting, generally entertaining film, that can pretty much be described as the first 'pro-immigration reform-sploitation' movie ever made. Seriously more than anything, Machete is an old-school propaganda film, much like the old Frank Capra 'Why We Fight' Series except, you know, with more blood, gardening implements, and nudity. Like any good propaganda film Machete has zero subtlety (it features the line 'We didn't cross the border- the border crossed us) and portrays the anti-immigrant forces as being willing to shoot pregnant migrants as they cross the border. It also includes just enough factual touches (the campaign commercials for the anti-immigration senator will probably inspire a few tea-partiers) to make you think a bit (but to be honest not that much, its film called machete for crying out loud).

Anyway as for the film itself there's actually not too much to say. It has the charmingly low-budget aesthetic of most of Robert Rodriguez's work, and generally has a nice sense of humor about itself along with some well staged action scenes. Its also somewhat disjointed, is about twenty minutes too long, and in some ways indulges in as many hispanic stereotypes as Carlos Mencia. Of course it also has a very fat Steven Segal (I can't over-emphasize how fat he is, its mesmerizing. Most of his shots are close up and you can still feel his gravitational pull) as a mexican drug kingpin so you have to love that. Anyway its worth checking out as an example of a form of propaganda you rarely see any more. Just check out this trailer.

The Other Guys/The American

The Other Guys

An adequately amusing film that doesn't do the cop movie parody as well as Hot Fuzz, and isn't as gloriously unhinged as Step Brothers, but still has enough nice moments (particularly side comments) that you should find entertaining. But enough about that, the misguided nature of the closing credits sequence is just bizarre. They follow a slapstick filled film starring Will ferrel with credits that try to make a serious social point about the financial crisis, the bailout, and income inequality in America. At first I thought it was a joke, but its not. The entire sequence is just one statistic after another saying that corporate america ripped us all off, got bailed out by the government, and that today america is more unequal then every time in society. Its really irrelevant whether or not the claims are true, the whole setting was just completely jarring and out of place. It would be like following Twilight with Fahrenheit 911. Or the time on an international flight when I watched Raging Bull after The Devil wears Prada (seriously, I did this. I think I can safely say I'm the only in the world to see that double feature).

The American

The movies opens with George Clooney and his companion being attacked in the woods in Sweden. The attack ends with the death of his girlfriend and he ends up hiding in a small italian village, while an associate tries to find out who put the hit out on him. Most of the films running time is spent with Clooney working to make a custom weapon for a client, and starts a relationship with a local prostitute (or as I like to call it, the cheboygan two step), and there is surprisingly little action for a film where the protagonist is a hitman. While I actually enjoyed the vibe of the film, I don't think its going to be tremendously successful, and I can see a lot of people not enjoying it. Its incredibly stylish and mannered, with the dialog being kept as spare as possible. Right until the end (where it gets rushed and jumps the rails a bit) the film maintains a stylish and hypnotic pacing, with most of the characters thoughts and motivations being left unsaid. All that said I could see how some people would find it slow and uneventful, but it worked for me. Its true that not a lot happens, but I think if you let the whole just play out you'll find the film to be a reasonably engaging character piece.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Edgar Wright is now 3 for 3 (Sean of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and now this) and he's reached the realm of guys whose work I will check out just because he's involved (joining Woody Allen, Christopher Nolan, and Nic Cage). Scott Pilgrim is one of the the most visually inventive films I've seen in years, and the way the story is told (where everyone appears to live in a universe that operates like a mid-nineties nintendo game) is wholly original. Really the film that it most closely reminds me of is Speed Racer, in that the style of the film drives everything around it, though in Scott Pilgrim's case the acting and script are better.

The plot follows our eponymous hero as he meets the girl of his dreams and then fights her seven evil exes in order to be with her. Along the way he of course learns something about himself, but that's beside the point. The parts are well cast (Kieren Kulkin and Chris Evans in particular) and the film manages to maintain a light and easy pace throughout. The one drawback is that it crams so much in (there are seven distinct battles obviously) that its difficult to care too much about the characters since everything whips by so quickly. Still, the film is really entertaining and you should see it. At least do it so it doesn't bomb, it deserves to do so much better than it has (and at least half to business of Grown Ups to restore some of my faith in humanity).

Piranha 3-D

Look, it has Piranhas and they're in 3-D. If that doesn't get you giggling then there is nothing I can say to get you to see this. Still a few thoughts:

-The film is a lean 82 minutes and doesn't waste any time on explanation or character development. We have a few character introductions, gratuitous nudity and public drunkenness, and then the bloodbath.

-Gratuitous is actually the best word to describe the film. The makers go out of there way to just make every aspect over the top and ridiculous. This is of course the perfect approach for a film about prehistoric piranhas attacking spring breakers, and it actually has a fairly light touch.

-Now I will say that this is the sort of film I have a soft spot for. Much like Lake placid (and to a lesser extent Eight legged freaks) before it, Piranha 3-D embraces the ludicrousness of its premise and just runs with it. Any sort of self-seriousness is death for a film like this, and Piranha studiously avoids it.

-Its always good to see Christopher Lloyd working.

-The way Ving Rhames goes down is perfect.

-The detail on the piranha attacks is actually one of the weaker aspects of the film. There's plenty of blood, but I would have appreciated more detail and not just a whirlwind of activity on the closeups.

-Another reviewer noted that we should forget Avatar and realize that Kelly Brook was the reason 3-d was invented. I won't say that its a completely incorrect sentiment.

-The ending cut is phenomenal

-Its interesting how all the films of this ilk use the casting of well known but past their prime actors as shorthand for any kind of character development. For instance the minute we see Christopher Lloyd show up as a fish expert we can already fill in his back story. Same for Jerry O'Connell as the doppelganger for joe francis. Thus ends the only legitimate film analysis in this review.

Its not a great film, but its a satisfying one that fully embraces what it is and revels in its excess. You could do much worse.

Inception

This is a really good satisfying film (I know way to go out on a limb there Eric), that takes an elaborate heist story and mixes with a the dream world of films like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Its well executed, and gripping, and I think it would have worked just as well even if the ambiguity abouts its reality that's introduced at its end wasn't included. However since this is the element that's intended to generate the most discussion let me throw in my opinion on whether or not the whole thing was a dream or not, which I warn you isn't that interesting (needless to say Spoilers ahead):

Anyway I do think at least a portion of the film is taking place in DiCaprio's dream (how much I can't say), not because of the top's continued spinning, but because his kids look exactly the same age at the end as they did in his flashbacks. I suspect that the entire opening sequence is 'real' but sometime after the introduction of Ellen Page's character is when we start to spin off into the alternate reality. That's it. I'm sure a google search will yield a plethora of more detailed theories.

My real point, and what I think is the film's real strength, is that I can't say that my enjoyment of the film is effected one way or another by the 'reality' of what happened. This is what elevates it above a lot of other 'twist' films in that it holds up just fine without the change in direction. The ambiguity definitely adds some more room for thought, but just serves to enhance the story rather than dominate it. This places it closer to The Usual Suspects than say most of the works of M. Night whatshisname.

State of Play

This movie really didn't do much for me. Its not that it was bad necessarily, the cast was loaded (Russel Crowe, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Jason Bateman, Ben Afleck, Robin Wright Penn), and the story was kind of interesting. Unfortunately it really just became a muddle as it tried to be a detective/corporate conspiracy/political thriller all at once, while also shoehorning in a blatant attempt to justify the existence of newspapers against the encroachment of the internet. Too much going on (not surprisingly based on a mini-series) and none of it really grabbed me. I was also distracted by the casting of Ben Afleck as the crusading congressman. Its not that he did a bad job, but the character was supposed to have been roommates with Crowe and the same age as Penn, but he looked about 15 years younger. As a result it was difficult to buy their relationships, which of course are central to the story.

So anyway, not much to say. The film aims much higher than it actually hits, and is overall fairly mediocre and forgettable.

Salt

Salt stars Angelina Jolie in a role originally intended for Tom Cruise, and is pretty much a ninety minute chase scene. Jolie plays a CIA agent who one day is told that she is actually a Russian sleeper agent sent to the US to assassinate the Russian president. This of course throws her life into a tizzy, and she runs off to save her husband* and clear her name with the entire US intelligence apparatus chasing her.

* Quick tangent here - the actor playing her husband is one of the creepier looking guys I've ever seen. Like he should be driving a paneled van around the valley sort of creepy. Its so bad that it makes you question why Jolie would bother risking herself to save him. But I digress.

Anyway Jolie is convincing as a female Jason Bourne, and the action is generally well framed (inasmuch that the director rarely relies on the nausea inducing greengrass style school of shooting). Still the film's plot has so many holes and logical inconsistencies that you're actually questioning it as you're watching. I don't expect these type of films to be realistic per se, but they at least need to be consistent within the parameters of the film. Had the characters behaved at all rationally the film would have been a half an hour shorter (at least) and Jolie's character wouldn't have to go off at the end as a lone wolf (spoiler) to set up a really heavy handed and unnecessary sequel opportunity.

Anyway its not horrible, but the fact that I spent the last fifteen minutes questioning why any of this was necessary means it difficult to call it any more than passable.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

After The Bad Lieutenant (and adaptation, and the rock, and the clips I've seen of Wicker Man, heck even after Con Air) Nic Cage has won pretty much permanent immunity from me (as much as the National treasure films have sorely tested that statement), so when I saw that he was starring in a Jerry Bruckheimer produced film playing a wizard I was hopeful that there would be enough trademark Cage insanity to offset what was a mediocre, at best, premise. The reviews were mixed to say the least, and that's probably the best way to think of the film. Its pretty up and down, and feels like they cut quite a few scenes in order to get down to its sub-ninety minute run time. Still, even though Cage feels restrained (I mean he's playing a two thousand year old wizard in New York, he should be anything but restrained) there's still enough touches to make the film watchable. If anything some of the throw-away gags (a modern wizard is posing on a Magic - The Gathering poster) are actually fairly clever. Its not quite enough to make me call The Sorcerer's Apprentice a good film, but its moderately entertaining and has enough Cage so that if I saw it on a plane I wouldn't be wholly disappointed.

Additional Note: I thought about this a bit more and I think the real reason the film isn't successful is that they try to force it to be a big budget action film, when the most interesting aspects are the character gags, and the few times they let Cage, Molina, Jay Baruchel, and Toby Kennel riff. Had this not been produced by Disney and Bruckheimer I think there actually could have been something interesting about an insane Wizard training a physics nerd in modern day new york. Probably would have been infinitely quirkier, with less rote action sequences and cliched love story. On the other at least they didn't cast Kevin James.

Hitch

I will have to admit that I only watched about thirty minutes of this. I came home from a gig it was either Hitch or a family guy rerun and since it was one from after season 3 I went with the film. Look from what I saw it wasn't that interesting and completely predictable but I do have two observations:

1) Will Smith is a charismatic guy. Seriously, he really has an easy charm and dynamism that even though he was playing a fairly thinly written uninteresting character I still found him watchable. This may limit the range of roles he's able to play convincingly since he's inherently likable, but still you can see why the guy's films gross a billion dollars.

2) Of course I may have felt that way because the third main character was played by the charisma sucking black hole that is Kevin James. Seriously we get it, he's fat and he falls down, but when your entire shtick is based on pratfalls (and not very imaginative ones at that) it gets old real fast. I actually cringed every time he came on screen and flipped back to Family Guy for a few minutes. I get that his films make a lot of money and more power to him, but he's rapidly becoming one of those guys who automatically causes me to consider seeing the new Kate Hudson film in order to avoid his presence.

The Kids are alright

Much like the titular kids, this film is alright! (I am going to published on a one sheet one day, I don't care how sad I sound). I don't feel like doing a whole rundown but here's some quick thoughts:

Plot

The story follows a lesbian couple (Julianne Moore and Annette Benning) who have two children from an anonymous sperm donor (Mark Ruffalo) The oldest daughter is about to go off to college, and decides to contact the donor; whose introduction into the family's life brings complications (to say the least).

The Good

Even though the concept sounds a bit pretentious, the film avoids any smugness that I was a little afraid of when I saw the trailer. It also has a nice sense of humor (I laughed out loud several times), and is well acted. I also like how it managed not to get all preachy about the fact that we were dealing with a lesbian relationship, and just treated the dynamic like any other family (albeit an unconventional one). Finally, I appreciated the way the film didn't try to give a tidy ending to all the characters, and made it clear that all the conflict that occurred was going to have very real repercussions for the rest of their lives.

The Bad

This is going to be a bit spoilery, but I really felt that having Moore have an affair with Ruffalo was unnecessary, and kind of a lazy way to exacerbate the instability in her relationship with Benning. I think the film could have been just as effective if it stayed focused on the way that Ruffalo's introduction was disturbing the family dynamic (for Benning's character in particular) and not felt the need to introduce such a heavy handed, distracting, denouement. That said I think the whole situation was handled with more restraint that it certainly could have been, which made it more tolerable.

One more note: I though Ruffalo's character was a bit under written towards the end and I think that the film didn't know what to do with him by the end.

The Ugly

Your face

The Office

So I just knocked out the entire UK office in about five days and obviously it was amazing but I was really struck by how much the US version has managed to differentiate itself. The UK version is rougher, the characters generally less likable, and given the constraints of the show (only having about ten hours of total content) you don't get as invested in the characters so their situation doesn't feel as tragic as the US version. Also while I found David hysterical, I get why the US version made michael softer and more sympathetic since six plus seasons of David might have killed me (not in a bad way, but he's a lot to sit through).

All that said I thought the UK christmas special was gold (particularly how they portray David dealing with his B-Level celebrity), and I fully intend to use 'as the actress said to the Bishop' instead of 'thats what she said' for the foreseeable future.

Winter's Bone, Despicable Me

Winter's Bone

Another film that I didn't know much about going into, except that the reviews had generally been positive. The story follows a 17 year girl (Jennifer Lawrence) whose father is out on bail and she has to find him or she, her two siblings, and mentally ill mother are going to get kicked out of their house. The rest of the film deals with her journey into the backwoods of Kentucky (or thereabouts) where helpful people with no dark secrets help her as much as they can, and no age old resentments come to the fore. Or Not. Yeah you can throw Winter's Bone up there in that Genre of films that makes me scared to death to ever stop my car when driving through the Ozarks. Anyway the film is well executed and performances are solid. It keeps a tight focus and doesn't feel the need to explain everything to the audience. Plus if you're already fully behind the idea that people living in the hills are crazy and will beat the crap out of you this will fit into your wheelhouse nicely.

Despicable Me

I don't have a lot to say. Its funny, well paced, and doesn't have an abundance of pop-culture gags or extraneous musical numbers. It doesn't have quite the depth of Pixar's best work, but then again neither did Rush Hour 3. There are definitely worse ways to spend 90 minutes.

Cyrus/The A-Team

Cyrus

The plot revolves around a socially awkward man (John C. Reilly) who meets a women (Marisa Tomei) with a 21 year old son (Jonah Hill) still living with her who is overly attached to mommy (to the point of being borderline Oedipal) and sees Reilly as a threat to their 'idyllic' existence. Given the concept and actors involved I expected this to to degenerate into a battle of wills as the two principals fight to screw each other in an effort to drive the other one out. While this happens a little bit, it doesn't play out at all like I expected. The first hour is manifested with the type of humor found in shows like The Office, where you're just watching people lacking basic social skills interact and you just can't help but cringe at what they're doing and their general unawareness at how their actions are being perceived. While funny, its still uncomfortable to watch and its a testament to the actors that you still have some sympathy for the characters even after all this is done. The second half shifts a little bit to the aforementioned battle between Hill and Reilly, but rather than having them engage in ever escalating stunts, the film is more concerned with showing the consequences of their actions, and illustrating how screwed up many of them (particularly Hill) actually are. Again not exactly the lightest fare when it comes right down to it. Anyway overall the film is well acted and executed, and does its best to keep what is really a fairly unrealistic premise grounded. Its not the most comfortable viewing experience but at least thats by design.

The A-Team

I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this film. From the opening scenes it embraces the ludicrousness of the whole premise and just runs with it. As Hannibal says at one point in the film "Overstatement is underrated" the film takes the excess of the TV show and turns it up twenty notches. It thankfully doesn't spend much time trying to interject too much seriousness into the proceedings, and the ridiculously overqualified cast (Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlito Copley, Patrick Wilson, and Major Dad's own Gerald Mccraney) make the characters enjoyable to spend a few hours with. Really my only issue with the film is that the fight scenes are poorly staged and shot in a manner akin to the way Paul Greengrass shot green zone (look you have a UFC fighter playing BA for crying out loud, how about pulling the camera back and letting us see what he's doing). Still its light, enjoyable, entertainment and one of the few TV reboots I wouldn't mind seeing turned into a franchise.

Grownups

I went into this film with no expectations, and the only reason I acquiesced to see it is because there was the only other option was Twilight. Of course once I saw this trailer I knew that I was in trouble. Still I had a hope that it could be at least moderately entertaining since three of the leads (Sandler, rock, and Spade) can be really funny and it also had Salma Hayek which is generally a good thing. Unfortunately it really sucked. It didn't help that kevin James and Rob Schneider had the other two leads, but a poor script left the other guys feeling neutered and restrained. Also way too much of the film was devoted to trying to be a heartwarming family film, when in reality it should have just let the talent cut loose. Look its not the worst film ever, but its generally boring and not that funny. Look elsewhere for entertainment.

Toy Story 3

There's not much more to say here that hasn't already been said. Like its predecessors this is an excellent film, and the level of detail that Pixar puts into every aspect of its production is something to behold. I put it a notch below the second one just because it revisits many of the same themes without doing anything new, but rather than being the Godfather 3 its more like The Return of the Jedi. Maybe not quite up to par with its illustrious predecessor, but still very entertaining. The only part that rubbed a bit wrong is at the very end when Andy (on his way to college) stops off at someone's house he hasn't talked to for years and then proceeds to give their small child a lecture about life and plays with her for hours in the yard. I know that's supposed to be sweet but I couldn't feel as if I were the parent I would have been a little creeped out by the 17 year old kid just randomly showing up and spending a lot of alone time with my three year old. On the other hand I'm a bad person, and this is probably only something that would bother someone as heartless as me.

Finally, 3-D adds absolutely nothing (with the exception of $4 to the price of the ticket) to the film. I get why the studios are embracing it, but I do hope that audiences eventually become fatigued and the demand drops off for films that are just converted to the 3D specifically for marketing reasons.

Get Him To The Greek

This film is about a half an hour too long, and feels the need to force in some unearned sentimentality and life lesson which tend to diminish whatever comic momentum is being generated. That said, I did laugh and the two leads (Russell Brand and Jonah Hill) do have some moments together. If they had tightened the story up and gotten rid of some unnecessary characters it might of been more than just a mildly diverting satire of the music industry.

The other thing the film does is show the true genius of Spinal Tap (and to a lesser extent Tenacious D). In Spinal Tap the songs actually stand on their own as well as being devastating parodies. I'm not claiming that they'd chart but they are catchy and can be listened to independent of the film. I can't say that about any of the numbers in Get Him to The Greek. They generally work as bits in the film, but none of them stuck with me after it ended. This isn't a knock, its just shows you how tough it is to write truly memorable songs (thank you captain obvious).

Lost Finale

I don't want to get too into what I think did or did not happen in terms of plot but since I've followed this show for its entire six year run so I think the correct move would be to throw out yet another blowhardy, generally pretentious, take to go along with the approximately six hundred thousand others floating around.

Anyway, I get why some people are frustrated by the final episode. It didn't answer a lot of the show's lingering questions (what are the numbers, how did the dharma initiative find out about the island, and what happened to walt (though in regards to the last question the answer is obvious - he was too busy starring in The Blind Side)), and didn't give a definitive answer to the big one - What exactly is the island? Personally, about half way through this season I decided that there was no way everything was going to be answered satisfactorily and decided not to get too hung up about it (see how enlightened I am), really I just wanted to go along with the ride. Wherever that ended up probably wouldn't be wholly satisfying, but I hoped it would at least be compelling.

That said, I think the writers really had two ways they could have ended the show. They could have gone with the big screw with everybody's head ending, which would probably have involved the world ending, or they could have just focused on providing some sort of resolution to the character's lives and leave it at that. Obviously they chose the latter and I can't really blame them. Had they decided just to blow Hurley to smithereens (for example) I think the majority of the fan base would have been even more pissed than they are now. Overall I think the resolution was a satisfying one and, once you accept that the show was so ambitious that there was no way that any ending would have tied everything up nicely, its difficult to fault the writers too much for going the direction they did.

A few more random thoughts:

1) Its interesting that this was really just a resolution of the last two seasons, and not so much the whole show. This lends some credence to the idea that while they creators may have had some general idea about where to go with the show from the beginning, they really were just throwing up a lot of white noise to see what would stick before they were given a definitive end date by ABC.

2) I also think the ambiguous ending is in keeping with how the entire show has played out. More than any other show I can think of (with the obvious exception of Everybody Loves Raymond), its really made an effort to 'show not tell' and leave a lot to the fan's imaginations. While I do think they could have done a better job wrapping up some of the big questions over the final few weeks, I think its just as likely that had the resolution been more explicit the whole thing would have felt forced and a little corny. That said I think a special edition DVD with anextra half hour of explanatory footage is inevitable.

3) I'm going to be really interested to see how Lost plays in syndication. Unlike other 'mythology' heavy shows in the past (X files, Buffy, etc) Lost doesn't really have many stand alone episodes, and you can't really just drop in at any point and get a feel for whats going on. I would think that would limit new viewers, and existing fans have already seen everything. Of course I'm the same guy who thought nobody would buy Avatar on DVD because without 3-D it really wasn't anything special, and its become the best selling disk of all time so what do I know.

I'll just finish up by saying that overall Lost was an incredibly interesting show I enjoyed the ride. It may also be the last of its kind (a high budget network, effects heavy, network show) since as TV becomes more fragmented its unlikely that there will be enough incentive to mount a production on its level since the large audience won't be around to sustain it. Still I look forward to revisiting it on DVD and seeing if knowing what, sort of, was going on the whole time detracts form my enjoyment.

One more note: I watched this episode live because I didn't think there was any way I would be able to not hear the ending. Big mistake. The first two hours went like this - 5 minutes of show, followed by three minutes of commercials. It was unbearable. If they hadn't shown the last twenty minutes commercial free I think the show would have been in violation of some sort of FCC standard about content per hour. I mean I get that ABC knows they got a captive audience, but come on. This was ridiculous.

How to Train Your Dragon

This film is sort of the anti-shrek. The cast is populated by solid character actors as opposed to distracting big name stars. There aren't any pop-culture references to be found, and the laughs come from well-developed jokes and not just some cultural shorthand. This isn't to say that I dislike Shrek or its ilk (I mean I own the first three seasons of Family Guy for crying out loud), its just that their over reliance on big stars and dated references means that most of the amusement is transitory, and the rewatchability factor is low. How to Train Your Dragon in contrast has more in common with Pixar's offerings in that it doesn't condescend to its audience, and relies on character development and story to make its point.

Anyway the film doesn't reinvent the wheel. The story is fairly predictable in that it sticks to the conventions of the genre, but it does so in an engaging way and with a sly, somewhat subversive, sense of humor that it made for one of the more satisfying film-going experiences I've had in awhile

In regards to to the 3-D, it was completely unecessary and Avatar remains the only film I've seen where it makes a difference. Still its an easy anti-piracy device, and the studios get an extra 3 dollars (or more) out of me per ticket so its not going anywhere. We can only hope the forthcoming Sex and The City 3-D: Shoes in da Hood will show everyone what a horrible development seeing everything in three dimensions really is.

Iron Man 2

Much like the first Iron Man film, the sequel is one of those unique superhero films where I was much more interested in the main character when he was out of the suit. Its no secret that Downey is the entire franchise, and the film's best moments just involve him riffing and interacting with the other characters. When the film gets into the action sequences (which are nicely put together) I found myself getting antsy and wanting to get back to the bickering. Thankfully I think the makers realize this and a good 2/3rds of the film has Downey just doing his thing . Even in the two big set pieces they allow him to liberally engage in dialougue and not just grunt and yell.

The film also manages to utilize a loaded cast (Gwenyth Platrow, Jon Favreau, Scarlett Johanssen, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L Jackson, Mickey Rourke, and Paul Bettany's voice (unlike legion which starred Paul bettany's abs)) with a minimal amount of confusion. Rockwell in particular is entertaining as a rival arms dealer. The biggest problem is that the main villain, player by Rourke, isn't that interesting. He spends most of the film grunting, and making another Iron Man Esque suit so that there can be another big fight between Iron Man and slightly bigger Iron Man like in the first film. I don't demand that all villains be as interesting as the ones in the Dark Knight but it would be nice to have something more than the equivalent of robots hitting each other once in awhile.

Thankfully most of the time Downey is allowed to do his thing which is enough. These may not be the deepest films but they seem to have a good sense of what they want to deliver and do it in an entertaining manner, which is more than I can say about say...Green Zone.

Also only stick around for the scene after the end credits if you're familiar the whole comic book universe that Iron Man exists in (which I am not). Otherwise you'll just feel like you wasted valuable time that could have been spent reading Nicholas Sparks novels sitting through ten minutes of tech credits (though I did learn that the best boy gets his own grip and MS. Paltrow has two credited assistants) for no payoff.

One Tree Hill:Every Picture Tells a Story

And everybody's favorite angst filled drama is back. Concurrent viewing tonight is Sharks-Wings overtime, followed by Lakers Utah game 2. Remember what happened last time? It was the end of somebody's acquaintance. And we have a potential fatal attraction situation. And the one black guy is back. And I'm incredibly good looking.

-Julian wakes to Psycho Brooke giving him breakfast in bed. Throw it out man. No Telling what she did to it.

-Clay tells his new girlfriend that he sees his dead wife sometimes and talks to her. She is completely cool with it because if she could see her dead mom now she would stay up all night talking to her too. Yeah...okay.

-Sharks Win. At least one bay area team has been sort of successful since I moved here.

-And we go to commercial break with Haley looking at a pregnancy test. You'd think after having to put up with Jaime for seven years she would have had her tubes tied six years ago.

Or maybe she thinks the baby will keep Jaime occupied? Hmmm.

-This scene features Car Crash by Wakey!Wakey!. As far as I can tell its a Josh Grobin soundalike singing over solo piano and violin. Classy

-Turns out Skillz is back for good and is willing to quit his job to get back with Lauren. He tells Mouth this just as Mouth's going to tell him that he wants to schtoop Lauren. AWK-WARD!!!

-Quinn's "Genius" idea is to have everyone who attends her gallery have their picture taken and then post it on the gallery wall so everyone can be living art. Wow, edgy. Apparently it doesn't take much to pass for cutting edge in tree hill. Though I give it even odds that an athlete's junk ends up on the wall.

-Since Mouth is a little punk Lauren is the one who has to rip Skillz' heart out by saying she doesn't want to be together.

-In a twist right out of 1992 somebody e-mails Julian Alex's stolen sex tape. He of course freaks out, because one thing we all know is that sex scandal surrounding an actress who's known for being a party girl hurts a film's box office prospects.

-Julian goes all crazy on Alex for the tape. Again the show has a surprisingly puritanical streak with him going nuts about a known promiscuous actress having sex, and she's not even the one who made the tape. Also she alludes to how this is going to ruin her career. I guess its refreshing how this show exists in a world where Kim Kardashian doesn't.

-In another fun product placement move a three minute sequence is devoted to Nathan and Jaime putting on Kiss makeup and playing Rock and Roll All Night on Guitar Hero. I guess when your getting a 1 share you have to pay the bills someway.

-The big record company exec is getting booted out of the country on a visa violation. I didn't know Tree Hill was in Arizona. Of course she immediately realizes shes White and from Europe and has nothing to worry about.

-Skillz decks mouth which knocks down a sheet that shows Alexander and Brooke's mom in flagrante delicto. Best photography exhibition ever.

-We now have a cover of a great Bob Dylan song. Guess the show isn't legit enough to use the real thing.

-Uh Oh turns out that the actor who shot the sex tape meant for it to get out, but he never wanted to blackmail anyone. Well I guess that makes up for it.

-Show ends with Haley bawling out by the pool for an unexplained reason. Color me intrigued.

This episode has actually been fairly boring, I may not make it until the final one (probably a lie).

The Joneses

For about the first hour minutes of its run time The Joneses is a nicely paced, enjoyable, satire (along the lines of Thank You For Smoking) that has likable characters and an easy going charm. Unfortunately it takes a sharp left turn from subtlety with about twenty minutes left which almost kills the film's momentum completely. The story follows a 'family' of salespeople who move into a neighborhood for a year and essentially sell themselves (and really the products they own) to the community. This provides fertile ground for some nice observations about consumer culture, and the toll that constantly selling has on someone. The film is well cast, David Duchovny and Demi Moore have a nice chemistry as the leaders of the sales 'cell' and Amber Heard isn't unattractive as their 'daughter' (I really just felt like sounding like a Maxim writer there for a second). A film that just stayed with them and their internal struggles with the work they do it would have been fine. Unfortunately we have a incredibly telegraphed dramatic denouement which leads to a big speech and a whole section that feels incredibly out of place when compared to the rest of the film. I didn't even mind that the ending wasn't as bleak as it could have been, I just wish that the film had stuck to its guns and not felt the need to suddenly spell out everything thats been bubbling under the surface. Its still worth seeing, but it ultimately falls short of what it could have been.

Green Zone

Green Zone is an exceedingly mediocre action film which, given its pedigree, means it is a dissapointment. The film is directed by Paul Greengrass, written by Brian Helgeland, and stars Matt Damon, so quality shouldn't be an issue. The plot also follows what an interesting story (the search for WMDs after the invasion of Iraq, and faulty intelligence surrounding the search), but what should have been a taught politically relevant action film, ended up coming off as a middling Bourne knockoff.

The biggest problems with the film revolve around a script that's filled with dialougue that could be described as overly expository at best, and subtle as a brick to the face at worst. The film has absolutely no confidence in the audience being able to understand any subtext and takes the approach of 'why be understated about the political point we're trying to make when we can present it in the manner of an eighth grade civics project.' This extends to the characters in that everyone has to have one all defining characteristic and never show any variation from that whatsoever. It doesn't help that everyone delivers their lines with the earnestness that I exhibit when begging someone to go on a date with me and eventually it just caused me to scream "I get it! One US official who wanted to invade Iraq lied about the intel and screwed everything up for everybody, and this will have far reaching geo-poltical consequences for years to come." (this did cause me to get a few looks, but whatever that's how I roll). Also heaven forbid anybody exhibit even the an iota of a sense of humor (though Jason Isaacs' mustache was interesting), I mean you wouldn't want to the audience to feel like the characters had a personality or anything.

My next issue has to do with the way the film was shot. I think I'm pretty much done with this whole cinema-verte handheld camera method of shooting action sequences. Yes I get that its supposed to add intensity and authenticity, but what really happens is that its difficult to get any sense of what's going on. Granted my raging crystal meth addiction could have something to do with my inability to process, but I still think this is a bad way to go. If there's no sense of geography of whats happening in a scene I don't care how 'in your face' the action is, its going to be difficult to be grabbed by it. This is the difference between watching a great hong kong fight scene, and something by Michael Bay. The former is more difficult to pull off, but infinitely more rewarding.

I'm probably being harder on Green Zone than it deserves as in spite of all the problems it manages to be moderately entertaining. I just expected something better. On a side note with all the self-serious Iraq War films that have come out over the past couple of years its telling that the film that has done the best job dealing with the complex issues surrounding the invasion is In The Loop -a profane british farce, that deals with a fictional conflict. The lesson of course is that important political points can always be enhanced by copious amounts of profanity.

Kick Ass

Lets just say upfront that Kick Ass moves well and is generlaly entertaining. However I think the hype machine surrounding it hurts it a little bit in that the expectation is you're going to see the ultimate deconstruction of super-hero films when, at its core, Kick Ass ends up being a grittier, more profane, twist on the genre. For awhile at the beginning it looks like its going to follow a darker path and really try to show what happens when real people dress up in costume and fight crime (I think we can all agree that in real life they'd end up dead), but it ultimately diverges into a more conventional narrative. If anything it has a lot in common with the criminally underrated Mystery Men, in that they both send up the genre's conventions while ultimately being faithful to the core elements that make people enjoy about costumed vigilantes beating up overweight gangsters.

All that said once you accept what Kick Ass is, its pretty enjoyable. Aside from our title character (a high school nerd who has a slightly above normal tolerance to pain and rather than having a romantic kiss in the rain with his girlfriend ends up nailing her in the alley behind the comics book store ), the real enjoyment comes from the father- daughter crime fighting duo of Hit Girl and Big Daddy, with the latter being played by the one and only Nicolas Cage. As regular readers will realize from my love of The Bad Lieutenant, I can never get too much Cage in my life and he doesn't dissapoint here. My particular favorite touch is how he applies mustache extenders when suiting up in order to mask his true identity (because if there's one thing we all know a Fu Manchu will confuse everyone). Hit Girl is also great and goes a long way to supporting the idea that little kids beating up adults and spouting profanity is always funny.

So yeah, Kick Ass doesn't reinvent the wheel but it exhibits a nice sense of humor and good sense of pace and style. It'll be interesting to see what the already planned sequel does with the material since I didn't feel like there was any kind of over-reaching plot line in play. But its not like The Godfather did either, right?

Greenberg

Greenberg was an interesting film to watch but I ended up respecting it much more than I enjoyed it and will probably won't go out of my way to watch it again. The story follows the titular Roger Greenberg (Ben Stiller) who's just been released from a mental institution and is spending six weeks at his brother's house in LA while the family is out of the country. The rest of the story follows him as he begins a quasi relationship with the family assistant, and reconnects with people he used to know fifteen years ago. Not a lot happens in terms of big events, but the film has an unforced tone and some nice character moments that feel like something you would actually encounter in real life. I also appreciated how it stayed away from any big emotional denouncements, and tried to stay as grounded as possible.

Unfortunately the film's uncompromising nature is what ultimately kept me from being truly engaged. The main character is for lack of a better term a 'dick,' and not a likable one at that. He's just a guy who makes everyone feel uncomfortable whenever they interact with him, and whose self absorption rivals even my own. While I think that the character is portrayed realistically, and the film doesn't try to make him falsely appealing at all, hes not somebody I would want to spend any time with in real life. I didn't even really mind that the female lead was attracted to him (since we all know women like going out with jerks, otherwise my social life would be completely, as opposed to just mostly, non-existent) but my lack of identification meant that it was difficult to have any real connection with the film on more than an intellectual level, and I really didn't end up caring if there was any emotional advancement or not. Of course I'm not really sure what my point is because had the film made the character more polished, or forced some dramatic metamorphosis, most of what makes it interesting would have been eliminated. Anyway I'm not really sure I can recommend it, but its not a complete waste of time if you do see it. (I need to stop now)

One Tree Hill: The Last Day of Our Acquaintance

Wow the last Tree Hill until April 19th, I may not make it that long. Plus the title of the the episode is filled with such wonderful ambiguity. What does the last day mean? Is someone going to die? Or maybe just get a bad case of amnesia? And Whose Acquaintance? Brooke and Julian? But they were so much more than acquaintances! Maybe the episode is going to be about a fight between Nathan and the pool guy. Oh One Tree Hill consider my interest piqued.

-Brooke takes out her anger at Julian by screwing up the costuming for the film. Rather than firing her on the spot Julian just gets all whiny and walks away.

-Nathan and Haley find her mom's funeral arrangements just lying around, get mopey, and then immediately they find her passed out on the kitchen floor. Could this be the acquaintance that's ending?????

-The CW is TV to talk about, which I guess I'm doing now. That's good marketing.

-Clay starts recruiting a tennis player who is played by the actress who played his dead wife, nothing creepy about that.

-The CW is now throwing three commercials in each break. How dare they screw up my free online viewing with more ads.

-Third sister (remember the one who'd slept with the other two's husbands) still refuses to go see her dying mother. Odds that she turns up at the last minute in a montage set to a power ballad?

-I swear to god if the majority of this episode is devoted to the incredibly boring experience of the mom dying I won't watch this show again until after April 19th. Do I really need to hear an incredibly tedious story about Nat King Cole and Chicken Dumpling soup (which Haley makes her mom write down with her dying breath), just die already.

-Jaime's spending the day with Chester the morbidly obsese rabbit. To distract him from dying Grandma Nathan decides to kill chester and eat him in front of Jaime. Now that's good parenting.

-It turns out that Jaime wouldn't have had Chester if it wasn't for grandma:

Nathan: Didn't your mom and I buy you Chester?

Jaime: Grandma taught me to wish upon the star

Nathan: And you wished for Chester (the morbidly obese rabbit)? *Subtext Added

Jaime: Wouldn't you?

Well then

-Brooke hears Alex talking about having sex with who she assumes to be Julian, gets mad, and punches her in the face. On set,. Right before a scene is set to shoot. This finally causes Julian to fire her. Bout time, she had better job security than a government employee (da duh da da da dut duh).

-Uh Oh, Brooke found out that Alex had been sleeping with Alexander and not Julian. She feels foolish. Though apparently a black eye is enough to shut down a $50K a day movie shoot. So its possible for hollywood to get remove Angelina Jolie's thousand gallons of tatoo ink, but can't handle a shiner? If this is all it takes to shut down film production that just gives me another reason to punch Kate Hudson in the face.

-Pshyco tennis player googles Clay and finds out that she's a dead ringer for his dead ex wife (that's a lot of dead). Rather than causing her to feel some sympathy for him, it just makes her more attracted.

-I really can't take much more fortune cookie wisdom from dying mom. Its poorly written even for this show.

-In the upset of the century daughter number three shows up at the hospital. Maybe this means mom can finally die.

-Taylor reminds the mom of herself. So the mom also slept with her sisters' husbands? Go mom.

-HAHAHAHA, 'definitely not gay' fashion designer Alexander was also sleeping with Brooke's mom. That is range. Maybe this is the acquaintance that's ending.

-The sisterhood of the traveling borings (see what I did there) has a cathartic moment at mom's deathbed.

-Julian immediately takes Brooke back because her psychotic nature can be explained by her irrationally intense love for him. Good call there chief. I guess this acquaintance will not be ending.

-Alexander tells Victoria he likes her alot, so she slaps him and takes him back. I guess this acquaintance isn't ending either.

-Since Alexander didn't show up, Alex goes to her meathead costars room to have some anger sex. But of course, she doesn't notice the open laptop and camera he has positioned RIGHT NEXT TO THE BED. This isn't going to end well.

-Finally the mom is dead. If somebody read that last sentence in isolation it could make for an interesting interpretation (well that could be for a lot of reasons).

-Just as Lauren decides she wants Mouth's..mouth, Skillz walks back into the house (thus restoring the minority quota on the show). Could this be the fated Acquaintance?

-Show ends with psycho tennis player dying her hair to look like Clay's ex wife and saying that she's going to get him. Yeah this will go well, we haven't had a fatal attraction story line in a good season and a half.

Hot Tub Time Machine

With a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine I think you know what to expect (though hopefully you're not going in expecting freaking Moliere). The plot, such that it is, revolves around three friends (and a nephew) who go back to their favorite ski lodge which has become a rathole. They're all at various low points of their lives, but through the magic of a special hot tub and russian red bull they're whisked back to 1986 and a weekend that ended up being pivotal in all of their lives. Of course there are the typical 'weren't the eighties crazy' and 'back to the future-esque' time travel jokes, and if that's all there was this film wouldn't be more than an intermittently entertaining and derivative farce. However it has two aspects that elevate it past the 'Not Another Teen Movie Level.'

First, even though it has the aforementioned elements (as well as some 80's ski comedy satire, which was already completely done to perfection by South Park in the seminal Asspen episode) it manages to throw in some nice touches to differentiate them from the typical time travel comedy (a long and distinguished genre to be sure). For example in the inevitable scene where one of the guys has to perform with his band (a la back to the future) they pick a song from the future that isn't exactly considered a classic, and actually kind of sucks (its from those masters of commercial jingles the Black Eyed Peas). Also there's a running gag in the film about them anxiously awaiting to see how a bellman, played by Crispin Glover, loses his arm, which actually pays off nicely.

Second, the film is able to generate most of its humor from the interaction of its leads. They have a nice affable chemistry (and in the case of Rob Coddry the mix is somewhat psychotic - in a good way), and the film throws in some subtle touches like unexplained inside jokes (The Great White Buffalo) and references to past experiences (what did happen in Cincinnati that must never be spoken of again?) that only they understand. This grounds it in some sense of 'reality' (as real as a movie featuring a time traveling tub of water, and magical squirrel can be) and gives you some the feeling that these characters could conceivably be friends in 'real life' (unlike The Hangover where I'm not sure any of those guys would ever be in the same room together).

Overall its not a 'great' film, but a loaded cast and easy tone make for a satisfying couple of hours (must refrain from saying 'that's what she said') . Also it features only a little more racism than The Blind Side so there you go (Note: I have not actually seen The Blind Side as I really enjoyed the book and have no desire to see it gutted, but thats not stopping me from making ill founded generalizations).

Beer League

I can conclusively say that this film would never have ended up in the stack if it had cost more than two dollars, and I hadn't just seen Artie Lange completely fry Joe Buck before I bought it. The film acts a vehicle for Lange and, like most comedian projects, how much you like Artie will probably determine how much you enjoy it. I for one do find him pretty funny, and the film is at its best when he's able to go on riffs only tangentially related to the plot. Unfortunately, like most of these comedian centric films, the rest of it is fairly pedestrian and forgettable. Watching it actually gave me a greater appreciation for Adam Corolla's film The Hammer. Like Beer League it was based around the charisma of its star and both of them had very similar stories (washed up former athlete stuck in a go nowhere job who finds redemption through sports and love), but in The Hammer I actually cared about the story and other characters, and in this one I never got past moderate amusement. Still the film moves along a a nice pace for its 87 minutes, and as long as you can put up with 'Nonstop language including strong sexual references, sexuality, Nudity, and Drug Use' (way to go spoiling all the good parts MPAA) there are worse ways to burn some time (even if it is fairly forgettable).

All that said I do have a major issue with the climatic game (spoiler alert, though if you're watching a movie called Beer League for the intricate plotting I don't know what to tell you). So we're in the bottom of the ninth, two outs, and our heroes are down 10-0. Artie proceeds to jack a homerun to make the score 10-1 and then gives a big speech about how they can still win this, blah blah blah. We then get the expected montage scene as the team proceeds to get 8 straight hits, score six runs, and have the bases loaded for Artie. Now remember the score is 10-6, a grand slam just ties the game and they've been using the other team's pitcher (and Artie's nemesis) for batting practice. So Artie pulls a hit to the opposite field and rather than settling for a base clearing stand up triple, the third base coach (played by the immortal Ralph Macchio) waves him home even though throughout the entire film we've been shown that Artie isn't the fleetest of foot and the throw home is going to beat him by a good two feet. Artie tries to bowl the over the pitcher covering the plate to knock the ball loose, fails, they lose the game and are kicked out of the league. Here's the part that really kills me - nobody questions the decision to send Artie home, the overwhelming attitude is just 'Good game, we'll play in a different league next year.' Maybe I missed the scene where Macchio gives them all the crane kick to inspire fear, but at the very least shouldn't there have been a few sarcastic comments, if not a punch in the head, directed his way (and Artie's as well)? Its scenes like this that make me question the authenticity of hollywood sometimes.

On another note it was a little weird to watch Lange play an unapologetic, boozing, drug user when its come out that he recently tried to kill himself (again) and has a history of (significant) substance abuse. Not necessarily disturbing, just odd. I'm sure there's something of significance that I could say, but I doubt it.

One Tree Hill: At The Bottom of Everything

There's been some debate by the two people who actually read this blog about whether these one tree hill recaps should continue. One the one side Mark (who apparently is still figuring out the page down key) says he can't take it anymore and the show sounds too horrible to read about (though the fact that he is reading it sort of undercuts his point). Michael (in all his good taste and charisma) feels that I'm doing a community service with my pithy and non spell-checked entries. After literally seconds of soul searching I decided that I'm going to continue (at least until I see a shiny nickel to distract me).

This is a special pre-Cal beatdown of Duke edition of the recap (a boy can dream - I'm counting on you Max Zhang) so our concurrent viewing is the end of the Syracuse-Gonzaga game, which currently has Syracuse up 30 with 12 minutes left. I think the Zags still have a shot.

-The previously on recap ends with Haley's mom telling the girls she has cancer so I'm guessing the show is going to start with some slapstick humor?

-Oh its a somber family breakfast livened up by the worlds most annoying five year old Jaime. It ends with the dying mom calling everybody a bunch of buzzkills for not cracking wise over bacon. Seriously what a bunch of killjoys.

-Alex wakes up with 'most definitely not gay fashion designer also named Alex' still in her bed and throws a reasonable fit about not being able to sleep because the patio salesman convention guys are throwing parties in the next hotel room and blared metal all night. He basically calls her uptight since he apparently smoked a whole bag of weed the night before and slept through Appetite for Destruction.

-Hey the banner ad says I can connect with the hill as: 'The characters you love face the exciting possibility of dreams come true and the heartbreaking reality that being an adult isn't as easy as it seems.' I didn't make a mistake writing that, apparently the exciting possibility is dreams come true and opposed to coming true. Bold.

-Millie is still in NA and let me just say it doesn't really like the meetings I saw Bubbles attend in The Wire. I feel misled.

-The bartender at the one hangout in town has apparently written a great album and can't release it because he hasn't gotten over the chick he wrote it about. I think this is the same reason Axel waited so long to release Chinese Democracy.

-Pac-10 and Big-10 are the conferences with the highest proportion of teams remaining in the tournament. Suck it East Coast bias.

-Mouth starts to make a move on Skillz' woman Lauren while Skillz is in LA working. She starts it by saying how its so hard being apart and they don't talk as much, and she may just stop dating because its so hard to move on, blah blah blah. Between this, Quinn dumping her husband for no real rational reason, and Brooke breaking up with Julian for helping someone who just tried to commit suicide, the women on this show are showing a bit of instability.

-Millie comes back from NA and gets all pissie about mouth playing videogames (not a euphemism) with Lauren. Having watched enough procedurals I know this will inevitably drive her back to the smack.

-Julian and Brooke's parents are hooking up. He follows up this news by making a subtle move to get back together with Brooke. Interesting reaction.

-I just went a whole segment without writing a comment, mainly because it just dealt with boring Mouth and Millie and everybody talking about coming to terms with Haley's mom's impending death. My restraint has nothing to do with good taste and not wanting to make fun of the death of (fictional) people, I was just too bored to write anything. Not a good sign for the show.

-Owen is back sporting a heroic beard (which of course symbolizes his journey through addiction) and becomes Millie's sponsor. He also tells her to try and get Mouth back by 'showing him she's still the girl he fell in love with' but you know without the cocaine addiction.

-Grubbs the bartender tortures the hot British record exec about recording until she dresses up in lingerie and walks through the bar to show him that she believes in him and thinks he can succeed? I'm so in the wrong line of work. Though I believe this is the same way Barry Gordy signed the Supremes.

-The whole theme of the episode is about taking chances so it ends with Grubbs signing the recording contract, Mouth asking Lauren out, and Brooke walking in on Alex in Julian's bed - Why can't anything ever be easy for these crazy kids? Somehow I'm guessing that He just let her use his room to get some sleep, but I'm betting Brooke won't handle the development with aplomb.

A Prophet

I want to be careful about how much I say about the plot of the film because I don't want to ruin its unexpected pleasures for the rest of you. Though pleasure may not be the right word given that it follows a 19 year old arab in France who's about to begin a six year prison sentence. Soon after he's interred a corsican gang tells him he has to kill another inmate or they'll kill him. That's as much detail as I'm willing to give, but the way the film deals with how he makes his decision and the consequences of his actions is exquisite. It has elements of Goodfellas, the Godfather, the Sopranos, and The Wire interspersed throughout. Not in a way that feels like a blatant rip, but in a manner that captures the depth of character, detailed plotting, and intensity that those prior films/shows embodied. Also, as I mentioned earlier, the film was great at delivering unexpected twists and turns (not twists as in The Usual Suspects, but twists in the sense that it didn't follow the conventional beats of the genre) that I legitimately didn't know what was going to happen next (sort of the opposite of when I saw Percy Jackson). The one part of the film that may turn you off are several sequences that take on a dream like quality similar to Requiem for Dream. I kind of dug them but I could see how it would annoy somebody.

I guess what I would say if you're a fan of well executed drama (that happens to have sub-titles, just like my hello kitty binder) check out A Prophet.

Okay two films in a row that I liked, I have to see something that sucks to get my equilibrium back. What's your mom up to this weekend? Hey-Oh!!!!

Bronson

We're starting a new feature here and letting other people post. The general reason for this is because if they read their own review it doubles the readership of this blog. On the other hand anybody else who posts here is probably going to do things like exert effort, proofread, and not engage in casual racism so this may just end up making me look inferior. Whatever, I'm special in my own way...right Teddy Ruxpin? Our first guest is my boy Mark. Take it away Mark:

I figured that for my first guest posting here on What I'm Watching, I figured that I would choose a little known title that even fewer people would have any desire to watch so that I could keep my credibility as a reviewer as long as possible. So, a biopic about one of the most famous British sociopaths since the 1960's Kray brothers seemed to be just obscure enough to accomplish my goal, yet keep me interested enough to actually finish it and want to write about it. I did watch the 80's film depicting the Kray's disturbing lifestyle during the U.K.'s swinging 60's like any good Smith's fan from the 80's, but nothing could prepare me for the sheer insanity of this particular character.

Even though the subject of Bronson couldn't have been more curious, who doesn't love a homicidal lunatic turned bare knuckle boxer turned pop artist, the movie seemed to be a mess of competing styles. It was as though John Cleese was starring in a remake of "The Red Balloon", but the balloon was actually on a self-aggrandizing spree of sociopathic behavior. I think that these elements could have worked together a little better if the whole thing was dripping with melodrama. Saying all that, I do have to admit that my favorite scene from the first act was of a loony bin discotech complete with The Pet Shop Boys club classic "It's a Sin" accompanying the cotton robe clad inmates' drool filled dance-a-thon. (Insert normal Saturday night joke here). Editors Note: I'm going to show some restraint, but its difficult.

It isn't until the second act that the movie starts to resemble a traditional narrative. That is, if the story line has the Cheshire Cat playing the role of Rocky Balboa's trainer. I did finally get a sense that the character was progressing toward something during the boxing section of the movie, but that was short-lived. Back down the proverbial rabbit hole we go... back to prison. The fact that the character only enjoyed 69 days of freedom in between prison stays should have clued me in to the amount of screen time would be devoted to extra-penal activities.

I wouldn't say that I hated this highly stylized film, but it just wasn't really for me. This film is probably exactly what the fans of a nihilistic career-criminal (see http://www.freebronson.co.uk/) want to watch, but I'll go a different direction for my yearly dose of cockney criminal... a lot less operatic melodrama, a lot more Guy Ritchie. So, if you enjoy dark, melodramatic biopics about sociopaths, you should watch Natural Born Killers. If you prefer a cockney accent, Bronson will have to do.