Jack Reacher

Plot summary

I wanted to see this for two reasons:

1) Christopher McQuarrie - writer of The Usual Suspects and director of the criminally underrated Way of the gun was the writer/director.
2) Werner Herzog, director of The Bad Lieutenant and frequent Comedy Bang Bang guest was making his acting debut as the bad guy.

Well Herzog was fine, though barely in it, and the director half of writer/director was great.  The film has some nice set pieces, and all of the action is clever and well-executed.  The problems begin whenever there's expository dialogue.  I don't know how much to blame on the source novel, but anytime there was a scene that didn't involve a fight things just ground to a halt.  It doesn't help that the plot had a ton of holes in it, but plenty of other films have dealt with that.  Here you just wanted everyone to stop talking, and donn't really care what happened with any of the ancillary characters.  Really this could have been a 45 minute film with minimal talking, and would have been just as effective.

Don't get me wrong, the entertaining parts are very entertaining.  Its just too bad the script didn't match up with the direction.  Though since the director wrote it I guess I can just blame him for everything. 

Les Miserables

I'm not sure I can top this review  but I'll try.

Les Mis is a difficult thing film for me to review because I think the book is one of the truly all time great works of literature and my familiarity with it is going to significantly affect how I receive the film.  This can cut one of two ways.  On the one hand I may find the story to be more powerful than someone unfamiliar with the details since I can fill in all the backstory of the different relationships that's, by necessity, missing from the film.  On the other hand, my familiarity with what's missing might also just end up making the film seem like an inferior version.  I guess what I'm saying is that adaptation's difficult, and I can't really comment on how someone unfamiliar with the source material (book or stage musical) would receive the film.

Anyway,  the best way to summarize the film is that it feels simultaneously rushed and a bit of a slog; has some nice, and powerful, moments and while overall it isn't bad, isn't great either.  I think it helps to have at least some familiarity with the basic story going in, because otherwise a lot of what the film sells as significant will just feel trivial.  Given how its a pretty straight adaptation of the stage musical I'm not sure it was really necessary to make, but its not a waste of time (and Russel Crowe's singing isn't as bad as the talk suggests.  Its not great, but not a train wreck). I'm sure it will get a bunch of awards nominations, but I don't know that I'll go out of my way to see it again.

Silver Linings Playbook

Here's the plot recap.

I enjoyed Silver Linings, and it reminded of David O. Russel's last film the Fighter.  Like the former film, he takes a pretty conventional genre (sports movie in the fighter, romantic comedy here) and gives it enough edge and quirks so that it doesn't feel as utterly conventional as the story actually is.  This is entertaining, but (again just like the Fighter) I'm sort of surprised at how much love this film is getting in critical circles.  In no way does it reinvent the wheel, or try to realistically portray mental illness.  Its an above average genre exercise, with a strong cast, that has just enough skewness in it to elevate it above typical fare. Even if the mental illness is portrayed more as quirky than debilitating.

Really the most interesting part of the film revolves around Bradley Cooper's relationship with his father (played by Robert DeNiro), and I'm not sure what interests me is intentional.  First, Deniro only expresses any love for Cooper when his favorite teams win, which he associates with Cooper's good luck charm qualities.  At first this is portrayed as the disturbing behavior that it is, but by the end the film just sort of accepts it and treats it as a merely quirky.  Even their big reconciliation comes immediately after DeNiro wins a bet.  Second, Deniro makes Cooper take part in a bet so irresponsible and psychotic that you can't believe everybody just shrugs it off (after some initial protests) and the whole thing is portrayed as a heart-warming bonding exercise.  I suspect that some of this is Russel's effort to send up the idiot plot devices of most romantic comedies, and in that sense it works.  If its meant to be played straight though, then the whole is a gross miscalculation.  

It's too bad that this film is being hyped so much because I think the acclaim ultimately hurts it by skewing expectations so much.  I guess its not the film's fault and I shouldn't complain.  Except this is my blog that nobody reads and I'll complain if I want to.  Suck it.

New Years Eve - the live blog

I've realized that due to time constraints I've been self-selecting into only seeing mediocre to good films.  This makes mocking difficult (especially since my true love One Tree Hill is no longer on the air).  So when I saw that New Year's Eve (follow up to the completely inessential Valentine's Day which I watched on a flight from Qatar) was on HBOGO I saw a golden opportunity.  However the only way I could possibly make it through was to write while watching.  SO that's what you have here.  I got to be honest, even with the live mocking I may not make it all the way through in one shot (that's what she said).

-Oh Man, this thing is two hours long (how could it not be ninety minutes), I'm definitely not making it all the way through this.
-Opening voiceover: "Some People swear there's no beauty left in the world no magic.  So how do you explain the entire world coming together on one night together to celebrate the hope and magic of a new year?"  Oh hell yes.
-So our first subplot is going to revolve around Hilary Swank trying to make sure the time's square celebration goes off without a hitch.  I'm sure it will.
-Hey its Zoc efron as the world's most alluring Bike Messenger.
-Subplot 3 is going to revolve around two couples competing to have the first baby born in the new year (which yields 25,000).   One of them is that super power couple Jessica Biel and Seth Myers.
-Hey its Ashton Kutcher. Maybe this is narrative continuity from Valentine's Day? No its not. He hate New years, and is Efron's roommate.  Zac decides to find such an epic activity that Ashton can't say no to participating in New Years.
-Subplot 4 (or 5) features Josh Duhamel as a playboy who's best friend just got married, and apparently he has some girl that he met last year at a new years party that he may or may not meet this year.  I'm guess this plot point will never come up again.
-Sweet Jesus its Katherine Heigl.  As a party planner.  She just said "There's going to be more celebrities here than rehab." This movie just jumped six levels.
-And now we have Bon Jovi as some musical superstar named Jensen.  His very presence causes Sofia Vergera to go into hystrionics.  And he has a history with Heigl.
-And the obligatory high school plotline about how some girl might 'kiss' some jonas brother looking mofo at a party.  Her mom is Sarah Jessica Parker playing a Rockette's costume designer.
-I think we're up to at least 9 subplots, this movie makes Cloud Atlas seem linear.
-Hey we have Ludacris in the token black guy role with a speaking part.  He's playing an apparently stoned police officer. I'm just assuming the stoned part from the way he read lines.
-I think Bon Jovi is out acting Heigl.
-John Lithgow is Michelle Pfeiffers boss and he overworks her to the point she decides to quit and start living her life.
-Wait were not done with subplots, we have Robert DeNiro playing a terminally ill man who just wants to see the New Years ball drop before he dies.  He's apparently been hanging on so long just so he can see the ball drop one more time.  Goals are good.  I'm still waiting for a ball to drop.  The mean doctor won't let him, but his nurse is played by Halle Berry.  I'm sure she won't show up again.
-New year's hating Ashton gets stuck on an elevator (which apparently  was built in 1920) with the girl from Glee.  She's really uptight and he hates New Year's.  I'm sure they'll get it fixed in a few minutes.
-I think we're finally done establishing characters as its starting to recycle through character pairings.
-"The world isn't scary mom, it's just getting good and I want to start living in it.  You used to."  Snap.
-Twenty minutes in and I'm already bored.
-Michelle Pfeiffer bought Zac Efron for the day to help her complete all her New Year's resolutions.  If he does he gets tickets to some hot party.  For some reason the second one is to murder a drifter.
-Oh Bon Jovi asked Heigl to married him and then ran off.  Now he wants another chance.  Its lucky you have such piercing blue eyes Jon.
-Heigl: "I'm ready to commit to what I really love, my work."  I'm sure the movie will let her stick with this modern emancipated woman tact.
-Ruh Roh, Abigail Breslin snuck out the window to go meet her friends in times square.  Sarah Jessica Parker is not impressed.   Damn Kids.
-We're not even to the half way point and I'm losing interest in mocking.  I didn't think it was possible, but its not that its bad its just so mind numbingly inconsequential I just don't care enough to get annoyed.
-Hey its Seacrest.  Apparently he's "Mr. New Years Eve himself."  Interest back on.
-The ball breaks halfway up the pole, Seacret has to vamp.  Its glorious.
-This is one of those movie's where everyone talks in speeches.  It's like super low rent Sorkin.
-Apparently no one else lives in this building with the elevator because not one other person has realized that its broken in the last 4 hours.  And neither Kuthcher or Glee girl have had to go to the bathroom in that time. Thaat's about right.
-Apparently they can't fix the ball without 'Electrical Whiz Lester Kiminski."  Played by a 'that guy.'   I do appreciate that in the world of this film that there are super hero electricians.  And everybody accepts this as normal.
-Hilary Swank gives one of the most unengaging speeches every.  Seriously I blacked out for a minute.  I wish I were kidding.
-Halfway through, I really don't know if I can finish.
-Hey Efron is brother to Parker.  The world's shortest family.
-Bon Jovi does not sign Wanted Dead or Alive.  Weak.
-He sings have a little faith in me.  Which now becomes out montage song.  I'll be honest, a lot has 'happened' and I can't be bothered to talk about it.
-There is now forty five minutes left and it feels like a week.  Is so so cold.  Tell me it will be okay.
-Kutcher and Glee girl decide to have their own party.  yeah baby break out the cocaine.  And the elevator starts working right before they kiss.  And the superintendent is played by the one and only Jim Belushi.  Way to shoot high on the cameo's.
-I can't emphasize how utterly rote and unsurprising the film is.  It's easy to mock, but what's the point?  At least One Tree Hill has some elan and owned its craziness.
-Hey its Matthew Brodrick...who cares. Really this is what the movie is,where's waldo with moderately famous people.
-I'm going to lose in the fantasy football playoffs because Tom Brady can't break single digits.
-The actual speeches of the film are about as inane and cliched filled as my accounting lectures.  Yet those don't inspire or get mass applause.
-Bon Jovi gets a second chance and still does not sing Wanted Dead or Alive.  Instead he sing's Can't Turn You Loose, which admittedly is a bad ass song, but raises many questions.  In this reality did Bon Jovi, I mean Jensen, write this?  Or are people going crazy because he's doing covers?  If its the latter then I'm very confused. Actually if its the former I'll also be confused.
-Now fast forwarding randomly.  Somehow not losing the narrative thread.
-Jensen cancels his tour to stay with Heigl. I'm sure all the back singers, crew members, and concert promoters who are left out to dry will understand.
-My god I can't emphasize how boring this whole thing is.  Wait I think Common is Halle Berry's husband in this.  Yeah for diversity.  Or at least rapper diversity.  The best kind of diversity.
-Even with my fast forwarding there's still 15 minutes left.  Remember me fondly.
-By the way, the ball did drop.  Unfortunately I can't say the same for my left testicle.
-I Enjoy Garry Marshall's (I mean Pony Boy's) work on Comedy bang Bang more than his films.
-I was going to transcribe the ending voiceover but I can't exert the effort.
-And we have an ending dance montage for the closing credits.  Of course we do. And there's blloopers.
-This was a horrible idea.

Killing Them Softly

Here's a plot summary.

There is absolutely no surprise that this film has bombed.  It is by far one of the most uncompromisingly nihilistic and cynical films I've ever seen - not exactly the type of thing with broad appeal.  Basically, the film parallels the breakdown of an illiegal gambling ring, with the 2008 financial crisis, while having various players  in the drama pontificate on how nothing matters, and America is just about getting paid.  The fact that the ending even sticks to this viewpoint is something I respect, as most films wouldn't have the guts to stay leave the audience with such a bleak message.  Still, its difficult to say I'll be coming back and rewatching this any time soon.

All that said, the film is surprisingly light (relatively speaking of course), and not as portentious as my description makes it sound.  While no amount of levity is going to make it palatable to a broad audience, what's there does help make the whole thing go down easier.  More generally I'm just fascinated that a film like this even got made.  I'd be curious to know what the marketing plan and revenue projections were, because there's no way anybody thought it was going to be a big, or even moderate, hit.   It's existence is kind of encouraging. 

Lincoln

I really had no interest in seeing Lincoln.  The trailers made it look like a tiresome biopic, with lots of speechifying, and amber glow.  Of course I was sure it would be well made hagiography, but still pretty yawn inducing.  And (yes this joke has been made elsewhere) it seemed to feature a disturbing lack of Vampire Killing.

Anyway, my dad wanted to go see it, and I was pleasantly surprised.  About two-thirds of the film is a procedure piece about how messy it was to actually pass the 13th amendment, with even Lincoln stoppoing to buying votes in the name of freeing the slaves.  This part of the film even has nice sense of humor about itself, subtly implying that Lincoln was a bit of a blowhard with all his speechifying.  Had the film stayed focus on this part of the story I would recommend Lincoln unequivicolly.  Howver it doesn't.

Any time the film goes back to Lincoln's family life it comes to a screeching halt.  His wife is pretty much portrayed as a nagging shrew out of the Adrien Balboa school of spouses, and there's a whole subplot about his son wanting to enlist that could have been excised completely.  All that though doesn't compare to the laugh out loud awfulness of the ending.  We all know that Lincoln dies, so its not like you have to include it.  Particularly since the film really just focuses on a few months out of his presidency.  But whatever, the way the film shows the end almost completely undoes the rest of it.  First Lincoln's last lines in the film are (as he's leaving for the theatre) "I guess I have to be going.  But I'd really like to stay."  It then ends with lincoln bathed in a soft light and giving his second inagural.  Basically undercutting all the work the film did up to that point in its effort to humanize him.  Seriously its groan inducingly bad.

On the other hand we do get Tommy Lee Jones looking like this:

So its not all bad.  

Skyfall

I'm really not a James Bond guy.  As a result I was probably more annoyed by Skyfall than it deserves.  Don't get me wrong, it's reasonably entertaining and has some well executed set pieces.  However, since I don't really care about the characters (I've maybe seen three of Connery/Moore/Lazenby films, and found the Brosnan ones to be uniformly tedious) most of the big 'emotional' moments just elicited a 'meh.'   Anyway since its easier to be snarky, here's a random list of some problems I had with the film (mild spoilers).  None of them are any worse than many other films I do enjoy, but given my aforementioned lack of connection with the characters I ended not dwelling on them more than I would have otherwise:

1) The fundamental problem with the more recent films is that they really want to be more serious action films, but are still constrained by the bond cartoony elements (entendres, bad jokes, gadgets).  They obviously cut back on them, and you can tell the filmmakers are a little embarrassed by the inclusion, but this just makes them stick out more.  The tonal disconnect really contributes to my issues with the film.

2)  On the same point, I think these films need to decide whether they're going to be serious or cartoons.  Say what you want about the Mission Impossible films, they at least embrace the cartoon which makes the over the top action, and plot holes, easier to accept.

3)  Javier Bardem has been getting a lot of credit for being the one of the best villians ever, and I don't see it. Its not his fault, its just that the character's big hook is that he's so technologically advanced that he can bring down whole governments with the push of a button.  But then his big plan at the end just involves busting in with some goons and shooting it up.  No special weapons or anything.

4) The dialogue is unsubtle to say the least.  People give films like Cloud Atlas a lot of crap for beating you over the head with its theme, but Skyfall is about 20 times worse.  Some variation of the line "The old things are sometimes best" is said (or shown) about three hundred times.  Yes, we get it.  Bond is still relevant.

5) One more for an even 5. It was pointed out on the podcast Doug Loves Movies that the ending of skyfall is really just the climax of Home Alone.  That's not untrue.

Argo

Argo is a solidly entertaining, well-executed, thriller and doesn't really strive to be much more than that.  I can actually see it showing up in a solid rotation on basic cable, with a high-rewatchability factor.   Okay I wrote those two sentences two weeks ago after I've first saw the film, and now I'm no longer motivated (in so much of my life, but that's another story).  Whatever, its good.  Probably getting a little too much hype, but I'd rather have something like this be successful than a lot of other stuff.  Like your mom.

Okay, maybe in a week we'll see if I decided to suck it up and see the last Twilight film. Somehow I think not seeing the last three won't really hurt my understanding of the narrative.  These films aren't exactly Game of Thrones.

Cloud Atlas

I'm just going to say up front that I kind of enjoyed Cloud Atlas.  Yes its a bit of a mess, and some of the mechanics are a bit gimmicky, but its an incredibly ambitious film and I'm surprised at how much vitriol its seems to have generated.  Rather than getting into a detailed review here's some random thoughts.

1) it is a problem that the ending falls into the 'everything is connected' message that marks most of these interlocking story films (Babel, Crash, etc.).  While I usually find this annoying, what keeps the film from being insufferable is that it actually intersperses a fair amount of humor throughout (particular within the publisher story line).  This helps from keeping the whole thing feel like an overly pedantic slog, and stays entertaining for most of the 2 hour and 45 minute running time.

2) Using the same actors to play different characters is hit or miss.  I actually think it helps a bit to have the principles (Hanks, Berry, etc) do this, but when they have repeat characters playing incidental roles in some of the stories it does become distracting.  On the other hand we do get Hugh Grant looking like this:

3) There's been a lot of talk about how difficult the film is to follow, and I don't agree at all.  Yeah you have to pay a little bit of attention, but I think everything actually flows together pretty smoothly.  If anything you could argue that it ties together too nicely, and might have been more interesting had the ending not been so conventional (or as conventional as a film following six stories can be).

4)More than anything I just appreciate the balls on the Wachowski's and Tom Tryker for even making a film like this.   Even when it doesn't work, you can't help but admire their ambition.  The film is never boring, and really only the ending is where it completely falls apart (though I'm not sure there's a good way to tie the six different stories together).  I'll definitely check out the novel its based on, and it would just be nice to see more filmmakers make an effort like this.  Even if it doesn't work at least it would be interesting.

Seven Psychopaths

This film was made to order for me to like it.  I absolutely love director Martin  Mcdonagh 's last film, In Bruges,  and the cast (Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken, Woody Harrelson, Tom Waits, and Colin Farrel) made me super excited before I knew anything else about the film. Then I saw the trailer and was all in.  Therefore, when only ended up finding it intermittently entertaining, I was pretty disappointed.   This review    actually does a pretty good job laying out the problems with the film.  I enjoyed it more than that reviewer did, but ultimately you could feel the film trying to hard to be 'cool, 'edgy' and post-modern.   As any high school student can tell you, if you can see someone trying to be hip and edgy, then they're really not hip and edgy.  I get that the film is supposed to be a deconstruction of action films.  But it still needs to be coherent.  Compared to something like Cabin in the Woods (a deconstruction of horror films, but is still incredibly entertaining on its own) seven Psychopaths just doesn't cut it.  Still I'm looking forward to what Mcdonagh does next.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I really felt like going out and seeing something, and it was either this or Pitch Perfect.  As the reviews for this one have actually been pretty good, I thought I'd give it a shot.   Unfortunately, it falls into a genre of films that just don't work for me.  Specifically, the navel-gazing "Waah I'm a high school outsider and everyone hates me even though I'm white and fairly well-off.  Lets go listen to The Smiths" type films.  They just never ring true, and the fact that I typically find their portrayal of high school utterly false means that I'm automatically predisposed to disliking them, no matter how well they're executed.  Therefore, the fact that I didn't find Wallflower completely annoying is actually a compliment. Since the film gives the main character significant mental problems, brought on by real trauma, I could buy his general darkness and alienation, even though I couldn't identify with the general setup of the film.  Therefore, as this genre goes, this is probably an above average entry.

That's not to say I'm completely in on the film.  Its still achingly sincere (almost eye-rollingly so) and there is still too much of the "Wow high school is the most important time ever, and is going to define the rest of my life" attitude.  Again, I fully admit that because I never felt particularly moved one way or another by High School that I am not who the film is targeting.  I'm sure there's a certain segment of the population who will find this type of story, and consider it as speaking directly to their life experience (kind of like Crank 2 does for me).  Really, its kind of  like that HBO show Girls.  I really tried to get into it, and I can see that there's some real skill going into its creation.  However, it's just portraying a certain type of person, and life experience, that I have absolutely no identification with and as a result can't get into it.  I'm not sure if this means that there's a problem with the show (since theoretically great art should be universal).  Actually, since I'm always right that's exactly what it means.  Glad we cleared that up.

The Master

I'm not going to bother with a plot recap, because the plot (such that it is) isn't really that important.  The film is really about performances (and really the film really spends all its time with the two principles - Hoffman and Phoenix) and its going to live and die with how engaging they are.  Thankfully, they are, otherwise the 2 and 1/2 hour runtime would have been unbearable.  Still this is definitely one of those films that I'm glad I saw once, but will probably never watch again (kind of like your mom).  This of course puts it way ahead of Paul Thomas Anderson's last work, There Will Be Blood, which just annoyed me.  Anyway, The Master is worth seeing for the performances, but I don't know that you need to go out of your way to do so.

Brief tangent.  I'd be interested to see PTA do something like Punch Drunk Love again, instead of these 'important' event films.  I think that these critically adored filmmakers can get a little too wrapped up in their own hype, and run the risk of falling into unbearable pretension.  Doing something like an Adam Sandler film  or some other genre exercise like Steven Soderbergh's been up, would be a good a way to stretch.  And interesting to watch as well.

Looper

Here's a plot recap .  I really liked Brick, and thought the first hour of Brothers Bllom was great, so I was looking forward to this film from director Rian Johnson. I don't have a lot to say about it other than I enjoyed it.  It makes time travel about as logically consistent as any film has, and actually has a nice sense of humor about itself.  I'm feeling lazy, so that's all you get.

Lawless/Total Recall

And we're back.  What can I say to explain my absence? Well, its been a so so month for movies, and I got HBOGO this summer and had to knock out Game of Thrones (Yes), Rome (meh) and the final two seasons of Entorage (because I'm a masochist).   So its interesting that in one weekend I saw two films that were pretty much polar opposites of one another.  At least in terms of my reaction to them.

Lawless strives to be Goodfellas for the prohibition era.  It stars Shia Labouf (I know I butchered that spelling and I don't care), Tom hardy, and another guy, as three brother running moonshine.  There's a conflict when Guy Pearce and Guy Pearce's hair (seriously look at it, its amazing)

Arrive in the form as a crooked U.S. marshall.  Stuff ensues.

The film looks great, has some fine performances (including a barely used Gary Oldman) and an amazing soundtrack.  However, there are two problems that keeps it from being wholly successful.  First, the story isn't as epic as the film thinks it is.  By treating it as a story with more ramifications then it actually has, the film ends up feeling a little forced.  The second problem is one inherent in these type of stories - that the protagonists are not really that likeable.  Other films get around this by still treating them as heroes, but here it felt like the makers knew it and couldn't get completely behind the characters.  While I think this is a truer approach, it did keep me from fully engaging with the story.

Finally a note on Shia.  I haven't really had an opinion on whether he can act or not because, up to this point, I've only seen him in really bad projects (Transformers, Indiana Jones).  And after this, I'm still not sure.  He's not horrible, and since his character is supposed to be a doofus his lack of polish kind of works.  Still its obvious he's out of his depth whenever compared to the rest of the cast (Hardy in particular who pretty much communicates with unintelligible grunts,  and makes it work) so I still can't say I've made up my mind on him.

Anyway the bottom line on Lawless is that it's ambitious, has a lot of good elements, but doesn't stick the landing.

Total Recall on the other hand,  well, its just cinematic white noise.  It actually reminds me a lot of the Tron remake from two years ago.  If competently executed, not really boring or offensive, and completely and utterly rote and forgettable.  Sure it has problems but I don't honestly care enough to talk about them.  So I won't.

To Rome With Love

This is definitely one of the more inconsequential Woody Allen films.  And really, its successfully entertaining only about 1/2 the time.  It basically follows four unrelated sets of characters (Alec Baldwin/Jesse Eisenberg, Roberto Benigni, Woody himself, and Penelope Cruz/some italian actors I can't bother to look up) around Rome engaging in vaguely whimsical behavior.  Only two sets of stories (Baldwin & Woody) work, and the Benigni story line is particularly tiresome (yes we get it, people are famous now just for being famous).  Had Woody chopped the two extraneous plots, and just focused on the first two this would have been a nice tight little comedy.  As it is the whole thing ends up feeling bloated.  That said, the guy still throws off interesting dialogue like nobody else, and there's enough going on in the good 1/2 to keep me interested.  No doubt its inconsequential, and not something I'll be revisiting any time soon, but hey I'd rather have a minor Woody Allen film than  another generic romantic comedy.  

Ted/The Dark Knight Rises

Ted


I had more thoughts about this when I say it a few weeks ago, but now I really don't care.  It's not great, but I laughed more than a few times, and its better than I thought it would be given how lazy family guy became after the third season.   There's no real reason to seek it out, but you could do worse if it shows up on a plane (one with individual players, not the edited common screen.  Taking the profanity out of this film sort of kills half the jokes.  Seeing a teddy bear say frak isn't as funny).

The Dark Knight Rises


Its pretty much impossible to evaluate this in a vacuum.  Its a follow up to arguably the greatest super hero film of all time, and has to tie up this Batman trilogy in a satisfactory manner.  Not falling on their face would have been an achievement, and in general they didn't.  The best decision was not trying to replicate the Joker.  They weren't going to recapture that live-wire energy, and sense of anarchic danger, so it was the smart call not to even try.  The new main villain, Bane, isn't as memorable but he's sufficiently threatening and destructive to represent a real threat.  His plan is a little too similar to the second film, and there are a few logical holes, but overall his story line works.

Other than that, the performances are good, and the new characters don't feel too forced (though the way the Batman/Catwoman relationship resolved did feel a little arbitrary).    Also I think they did as good as job as the ending as could be expected, given the requirements of the genre (the 'twist' for Joseph Gordon Levitt's character was kind of cheesy though).

In short its good.  Probably not as good as the second film, but a solid ending to the trilogy.  I don't really want to compare it to the Marvel universe, since those are essentially lighter and goofier.  The batman films definitely have weightier themes they try to use the stories to comment on (even if they often are a little too heavy handed and on the nose with the speechifying), which means they're probably 'better' than the Marvel stuff.  However this also means I'm probably less likely to re-watch them if they pop up randomly on basic cable (because I'm shallow you see) if that makes any sense. Whatever, see The Dark Knight Rises, its worth supporting the conclusion to one of the more ambitious studio-franchise efforts in recent memory.

Magic Mike

I think I said something similiar in my review of Haywire, but I'm utterly convinced Steven Soderbergh is just screwing with us now.  Basically it feels like he wakes up in the morning and thinks 'What concept can I base a film around that will on the surface sound ridiculous, but because I'm so awesome it'll work.'

Lets look at his filmography since his last 'conventional' hollywood film Oceans 13:

Che - a five plus hour two part epic about a latin american revolutionary, which from all accounts has very little action

The Girlfriend Experience - A film about a high class escort, starring a porn star, that features no sex and is really an allegory for post financial crisis economy.

The Informant - take a pretty dry story about price-fixing in the corn syrup market and turn it into a madcap farce

The last time i saw michael gregg - haven't seen it, haven't heard of it

Contagion - A pandemic film treated as almost a documentary, whose main bit of marketing was hyping the fact that Gwenyth Paltrow dies in first reel.

Haywire - An action film completely carried by a MMA star.

All of these films were at least compelling, and some even were elevated by his self-imposed constraints.  So now we come to Magic Mike.  A film about male strippers based star Channing Tatum's real life experiences.  Sounds nuts right?  Of course I had to see it.

Anyway its actually pretty good.  Soderbergh makes the smart choice of playing everything straight, and treating the male stripping game like any other job.  The sort of ridiculousness of the situation is acknowledged, but not dwelt upon, and everything is dealt with in a very matter of fact manner.  The film is  a little long, and the drug detour at then end could have been expunged, but I'd say the film definitely deserves most of the praise and success its been getting.

But that's all secondary.  There is one giant reason to see this - the McConaughey.  He plays the strip club owner Dallas, and never before has there been a more perfect union of actor and character.  He's amazing.  There's some bongos, call backs to Dazed and Confused, and the sort of smarmy charm that he's known for.  The character has a bust of himself in his house, and spends most of the movie shirtless and smirking.  I'm really not doing it justice.

There's this:

And this:

And oh yeah, this:

Seriously, every time he's on screen I was just smiling like an idiot.  This man deserves a Best Supporting Actor nod.  You think I'm kidding.


One other thing.  I saw the film in a 90% full theater, most of which was composed of groups of 3 and 4 women.  Who were not there for the economic subtext in the film.  The row behind me was half in the bag before it even started.  Definitely an interesting viewing experience.

Update:  Forgot to mention this in the original post, but there is one element of the film I need to discuss.  This is going to be me going into accounting nerd out mode just to warn you.  So Channing Tatum's Magic Mike is stripping and working a bunch of other jobs to get enough funding to start a custom furniture business (this actually plays less ridiculous than it sounds).  He's actually saved up a nice chuck of change (about 13 grand), which he wants to use as collateral to get a small business loan from a bank.  Only the bank won't give him a loan since he doesn't have any credit history.   While the film wants you to feel like he's getting screwed, I can't help but figure this is a little self-inflicted.  Basically rather than keeping all the cash in, I don't know, a bank account, he has it all in a wall safe in his house.  Now I get that maybe he wants to avoid the taxes, but by not establishing his net worth in a verifiable account, and filing accurate tax returns, he's obviously going to reduce the chances of getting a loan.  He should have been depositing everything, generating financial statements, making business purchases with credit cards, and filing accurate tax returns.  This would increase his odds of getting a loan since it would not only increase his credit score, but establish his ability to pay in a manner more substantial than "Hey I got a bunch of singles in house, give me a loan."  I'm just saying.

Safety not guaranteed

Here's a plot recap and pretty fair review.  I actually enjoyed this film quite a bit.  It's definitely slight and breezy, but it nicely balances the sci-fi elements with a light romance in a way that a bigger film most likely wouldn't have been able to.  Its not perfect. The B plot in particular is a little too on the nose, there are a few plot mechanics that don't quite make sense, and one really jarring cameo towards the end.  Those are just minor quibbles though, and overall it has a light sensibility that I found appealing.  I also have to give some props to Aubrey Plaza.  This easily could have just been more of her character from Parks and Recreation (which I love), but she manages to move beyond deadpan snarkiness and find some depth in the role.  I will now end any attempt a serious commentary.  I apologize for the detour.

So yeah, check it out.  

Prometheus

Prometheus is the quintessential 6/10 film.  It has a few interesting ideas, looks nice, is reasonably well-acted, and I don't have any real interest in ever watching it again.  Here's the plot recap if you're interested.  Anyway, considering Ridley Scott's recent work (Robin Hood, American Gangster, Body of Lies, etc.) being solidly watchable is a huge step in the right direction.  I've never been much of an Alien guy (I've seen the first two films once) and if I was maybe I'd be more excited by this, but I do appreciate that it tries to introduce a little more intelligence than than the typical sc-fi offering (even if the execution is mixed).

Anyway there are a couple of holes in the film that I just have to mention (obviously spoilers ahead):

- All of a sudden the captain (played by Stringer Bell with a Texas accent) suddenly realizes the Alien building they've been hanging out in is a military installation with weapons of mass destruction - but he had no evidence to base this on.  Seriously its really out of the blue and unprompted.  Its almost as if a scene was cut.

- The android's head gets ripped off and laid down on the floor of a ship next to his body.  After the ship is blown out of the sky, and then rolls about two miles, his head hasn't moved at all and is still right next to the body.  This really bothered me.

-Two crewman are trapped outside the ship at night.  They also record everything that happens to them. They are then horrifically killed by Alien snakes.  This is all on tape (nobody is watching the monitor's when it happens though because Stringer Bell is off getting busy with Charlize Theron).  The next morning when the crew members don't check in, rather than watching the tapes everybody just decides  to suit up and go looking for them.  This obviously does not go well.

- The main character knocks out two medical personnel, runs around the ship in a drug induced haze, and then performs an emergency C section on herself to remove an Alien baby.  She then wanders around some more to get dressed.  No one notices (and this is a small ship). This will be important later when the Alien baby becomes a giant squid.

So yeah, there's that.

The Dictator

I had an odd reaction to this film.  I actually laughed quite a bit, but I'd hesitate to call it a good film.  Its all over the place, and really feels more like a series of sketches than a coherent whole.  Its full of the cheerful offensiveness that most of  Sascha Baron Cohen's films have, but a lot of the crassness just comes off as forced rather than funny.  The film is most successful in the more improvised moments where the actors appear to be just be riffing (unsurprising given Baron Cohen's background).   But on the whole its way too broad to be a successful satire. A lot of it falls flat, but it had enough moments that I can't completely write it off.

And I enjoyed this:

"What's wrong with Crocs?"
"They're the universal symbol of a man who's given up hope.  You might as well start wearing sweatpants and eating at Applebees everyday."

Moonrise Kingdom

I've said it before, but I'm all in on Wes Anderson.  And Moonrise Kingdom is incredibly Wes Andersony.  So by deductive logic I really enjoyed the film.  I get that his style could come off as incredibly pretentious. But for some reason I feel like he's able to keep the balance on the right side of whimsical, without drowning in style.  Given how all-encompassing the style is that's quite an achievement.

All that said, and Will Leitch made this point in his review, it would be interesting to see what would happen if Anderson tried a completely different kind of film.  Maybe a franchise (the hunger games?), a superhero film, or a teen comedy.  It would just be interesting to see how his sensibility would translate to a genre outside his comfort zone. It may not work at all, but I'd like to see him try.  On the other hand if he just decides to keep pumping out these breezy, mannered, colorful films I'd be fine with that too.

Men In Black III

The overwhelming critical consensus has been 'Wow, its not as bad as we thought it would be.'  Given that all I remember about MIB II is that it ended with some sort of cat necklace, I can't say that showing slight improvement with the sequel is all that impressive.    Anyway I agree that its not horrible but really, and this is a point that's been made elsewhere, its just overwhelmingly unnecessary.  Everybody involved goes through all the machinations in a professional manner, but it just comes off as so perfunctory that I never really got engaged.  Really I was almost bored.  I could go into more detail, but why bother.  Its fairly watchable, instantly forgettable, and hopefully won't do well enough to generate another iteration of the series.  

Headhunters

Here's the plot recap.  I usually have slightly higher expectations for foreign films since the fact that they even get shown in the U.S. should be a signal of good quality.  Usually to make it over here a sub-titled film has to be exceedingly popular, or critically acclaimed.  Basically we won't get the Norwegian equivalent of What to Expect when you're expecting.   Headhunters isn't bad, but its not great either.  Regular readers (all one of you) will know one of my biggest annoyances is tonal inconsistency, which is something this film has real issues with.  It veers between dark comedy, slapstick humor, strong violence, and personal redemption without a real coherence to the shifts.  You can tell it really wants to be Fargo (and given that the lead actor looks like an albino Steve Buscemi I guess that's appropriate), but it doesn't have the guts to stick with the darkness of its premise.  Had they really committed to the fact that the main character is pretty much a petty jerk, and didn't try to end with an un-earned redemption, I think it would have been a more successful.  Its still watchable, and well-acted, but I never really cared about what was going to happen to the protagonist.  Yes bad stuff keeps happening to him, but it didn't really bother me.

Its still worth seeing as a reasonably well-executed caper, and provides some nice scandanavian scenery.  I'm just afraid the plot and resolution don't end up justifying all the machinations the film goes through.

What to expect when you're expecting

Obviously this wasn't my choice.  I was out with a friend and his wife and she really wanted to see it.  Of course she had no idea the film existed until I started making fun of it and, after watching the trailer, then she was all in. So maybe it is my fault.

Anyway I can't bring myself to get fired up about this.  Its a thoroughly boring film, that exists solely to throw a bunch of famous actors together (a la the putrid Valentines day) and have them go through a tenuously related series of events.  I can't overemphasize how boring and unfunny the whole thing is.  Just don't bother.

Smash

Out of a sort of, I don't know what, fascination I've been watching the first season of this show.  Its nowhere near the best thing I've seen this year, but its sort of an interesting fiasco.  It varies wildly between an interesting (occasionally accurate and compelling) look at the lives of performers putting together a broadway show, and wildly histrionic melodrama.  Throw in the fact that each episode features a fair amount of original songs (along with usually one cover) and you have something that is the, at the very least, unique.   I think it could work (and sometimes it does) but about half the cast is actually bad (and I hate to say this includes Angelica Huston, thought this may have more to do with the writing), and a good chunk of the characters are legitimately psychotic.  Debra Messing's character in particular may be one of the worst people ever (cheats on her husband twice, acts like a victim, whining constantly) and she's portrayed as one of the shows sympathetic centers.

All that said, my biggest annoyance with the show is its obsession with the idea that Marilyn Monroe is some sort of metaphor for, well, everything.  Every time a character has a problem someone says something to the effect of "Well Marilyn had it tough too, and she was able to succeed."  Maybe its because I don't really find her all that interesting, but I refuse to believe that hard core theater professionals would spend so much time obsessing over what the subject of their musical would have done.

I don't know if I'll stay with the show.  If it strips out all the melodrama and just focused on trying to portray the struggle professionals have with putting on a major production, interspersed with generous musical interludes, it could be interesting.  Right now I watch it more for the inconsistencies, and general tonal schizophrenia but I'm not sure that'll be enough to keep me going for the rest of the season.  Unfortunately I think its going to go the way of Glee and embrace its showier elements abandoning the compelling elements.

Anyway here's a list of stuff I've been watching that is actually good:

Community
Parks & Recreation
Awake - really great pilot, decent but not as good follow up episodes
Mad Men
Happy Endings
Suburgatory
New Girl - I was out on this one early,but jumped back in and was pleasantly surprised
The Good Wife - Excellent, looking forward to catching up with the first two seasons

And the others:
Walking Dead - Really inconsistent, and I almost gave up on it but the season finale introduced enough interesting elements that I may be back in.

The Office - I hate to say it, but I think this show might need to die.  It's had some moments (The florida episodes in particular) but they've been outweighed by the bad.

30 Rock - Actually enjoying the show more than I ever have in the past.  May just because I need an office replacement.

The Avengers

Before I get too into the review let me say a few things up top since this is going to end up sounding way more negative than I mean it to.  I generally enjoyed The Avengers.  Its entertaining, moves along pretty well, and makes the Hulk (one of the more problematic characters in the Marvel canon) a lot of fun.  Still its merely decent, when I was really hoping for something better.  Given the involvement of Joss Whedon, I though it would be closer in quality to The Dark Knight, as opposed to Iron Man (which don't get me wrong I enjoyed quite a bit).  Even though Whedon does about as good a job as could be expected juggling all the characters, the movie still feels cluttered.  I could have done without Black Widow and Hawkeye completely (and their involvement is a little weird given they really don't have any powers) and even Thor and Captain America aren't that engaging (though at least their presence makes sense).  Really I would have been perfectly fine if this had just been Iron Man and the Hulk take New York.  Those characters are by far the most well-defined, and have the best moments (and funniest) in the film. Hopefully future installments will focus more on their dynamic.

The film also takes a while to get going, the first third in particular is overly-expository, and could have stood to be twenty minutes lighter (dropping the Widow and Birdman would have helped considerably). But whatever, like I said at the beginning, I did generally enjoy it, and if its over-whelming success lets Whedon make another firefly film (or six) so much the better.

Oh, and seeing Robin from How I Met Your Mother in a prominent role was really distracting.  

Casa de mi padre/The Cabin the Woods

Watching Casa de mi Padre you get the sense that Will Ferrell was sitting around and just thought 'wouldn't it be funny to make a telenovela-style film entirely in spanish' and then just went and did it with some buddies. That's essentially all this is, and I appreciate it. The premise and execution is sufficiently silly that the film is a fun watch, but it does ultimately prove too thin to support a full feature. As a half an hour episode of a sketch show it would have been great, but at 80 minutes you definitely can feel it stretching. I can easily see this turning into one of those films that you don't seek out, but when its (heaviliy-edited version) is showing on Comedy central to stop flipping channels for 20 minutes to watch.

The Cabin in The Woods

This movie is awesome. I hate to be one of those guys who says you shouldn't know anything about a film before seeing it, because that's usually not necessary, but here I think that's really true. The great pleasure of the film is seeing how inventively the story unfolds, as well as how it plays with all the tropes of the genre it's playing with (in this case horror). That last sentence makes its seem like a parody, which it most assuredly isn't (at least not in The Naked Gun sense). This is more of a subversion, and you don't need to be intimitately familiar with horror films to enjoy it. But whatever, just go see it. Much like Joss Whedon's work with Buffy and Angel, it has the right mix of irony and sincerity to keep you engaged and laughing the whole time. Seriously, from the opening sequence to the absolutely insane ending I was grinning like a fool. I'm not claiming that this is the greatest film of all time, or that its perfect, but its a lot of fun and I enjoyed the hell out of it

One Tree hill: series FInale

Well since this show that's brought me so much joy over the years is having its series finale (allegedly). This has to be a live blog.

As a primer read this article. I'm glad somebody else appreciates how great this is.

-Crap this is a two hour series finale. Not sure I can make this (yes I can).

-Oh the first half is a retrospective of 'the landmark drama that spanned 9 seasons over two television networks' - I don't think I can even take this much pretension. I'll be back.

-I've got the retrospective on in the background as I work, and the people who work on the show treat it with a reverence usually reserved for The Wire. I think this makes my dream of the whole thing ending with an alien invasion unlikely.

-'I remember hearing about columbine and people speaking softly about it. I thought what a tragedy, somebody should say something loudly about it.' - So lets do an episode about a bullied kid who brings a gun to school, kills himself, and then have one of the characters be shot by their brother. Incisive social commentary that is.

-The helpful onscreen countdown clock tells me we have seven minutes until the final episode. Better get on my tree hill ravens sweatshirt.

- I can't get over the fact that Morgan Earp from Deadwood is Brooke's husband on this show. Its not like he was that memorable on that show, but still...

-'It got really uncomfortable being the only black person on this show. Seriously the original draft of the final episode had me getting lynched.' - Actor who plays Skillz

-:33 seconds, so excited

-We open on the river court. Nathan jams on an eight foot rim. And he gets out of an SUV and stares at himself. Flash-back fakeout.

-They do the same thing with Brooke, who's actually watching Julian shoot a TV show of her life in high school. How meta.

-And Now Haley gets to creepily stare at her high school self through a window. Where's Chris hanson when you need him.

-Mouth is doing situps with Millie - guess he wants to get down to 26% body fat.

-Well our first band placement, Blind Pilot. I actually saw these guys on letterman and I kind of liked them so I'll give them a pass on this one.

-My boy Dan left $500k to mouth. Hopefully this leads to a massive overdose.

-So it looks like this episode is really just going to spend a lot of time with the characters wistfully thinking about the past (facilitated by Julian rebuilding their high school hang-outs for his show). How disappointing. On the other hand two episodes ago ended with Dan rescuing Nathan (an NBA shooting guard) from a European Basketball cabal (seriously) since the authorities weren't doing enough to find him. I guess I shouldn't complain.

-Every character who ever sang over the last nine years is apparently going to get three minutes to sing. I guess that's one way to fill 70 minutes.

-Let me take a minute here to discuss The Lucky One. Which is unsurprisingly being promoted heavily in this episode. How is this scenario romantic? A guy finds a random picture of a chick (presumably on the dead body of her husband/boyfriend) tracks her down. Rather than calling the authorities she's like 'well lets see where this goes.' I need to rethink my whole dating approach.

-Clay and Quinn have an hour to kill before he can sign the custody papers for his son (the one he 'forgot' he had for four years). I'm sure nothing bad will happen in the meantime.

-Its looking like nothing crazy is going to happen. I'll be honest I'm losing interest.

-The promo for the Vampire Diaries just called its viewers "VD Fans..." awesome.

-Gavin Degraw now gets a song, I can't say that there is ever a better mix of artist and show then Gavin and One Tree Hill. And he's wearing a fedora. Of course he is.

-There is a lot of random slow-mo in this episode. The most random being Mouth finishing a sit-up (or maybe that was in real time),

-Julian is wearing a hat with the state of north carolina on it. All Class.

-Mouth uses the money to endow a scholarship for kids pursuing sports-related degrees. Because that's who needs the support.

-Gavin (and his fedora) get a second song.

-I really should have just posted quotes from the retrospective episode.

-In perfect keeping with the reactionary nature of this episode Julian buys brooke her old house, which the one thing she wanted more than anything else. Whatever.

-The abandoned four year old is already calling Quinn (who he met two weeks ago) mom. Yeah this won't end in over-dependency and a homicide in ten years.

-It sort of cracks me up that the comments on the article I linked at up top are overwhelmingly complaining that the author forgot to mention smallville when talking about the WB.

-Gavin gets a third song. Of course its a hard rock remix of the show theme. Edgy.

- I do love how two of the main characters from the first six years (Peyton and Lucas) aren't even acknowledged in the final episode. Its not like the actors are too busy.

-Continuing montage just showing everyone being happy. Now sing along to the chorus of the song. Really weak way to go out.

-Still only one black actor sighting so there's that I guess.

-Wow they cleared a U2 song (Tree Hill) I guess they had too.

-And we have a flsh-forward where everybody is meeting up at a high school basketball game. Which is surprisingly (not really) well attended. Sure, why not.

-Now a bunch of super pretentious voiceovers with earnest life lessons.

"the world is full of magic, you just have to believe in it" "so make your wish, do you have it? Good. Now believe in it, with all your heart." Freeze frame - credits.

Well that's it, the glorious run is over with a whimper. Still I can't deny I got a disproportionate amount of enjoyment out a show I really started watching because where I was living nine years ago only got three channels. RIP One Tree Hill. I look forward to seeing most of the cast starring in Lifetime movies in the next six months.

Post Script: The onion AV club has a write up of the episode and has some links to some choice moments at the end.

21 Jump Street/ The Hunger Games/The raid: redemption

21 Jump Street

For those who want a plot description (not that it matters). Anyway, I liked it. Its not anything more than its tries to be (which is an irreverent take-off of an eighties TV show that I've never seen), and is generally funny. Plus its the first time I've really enjoyed Channing Tatum in a featured role (Step Up excepted of course) so there's that. I wouldn't necessarily go out of my to see it again, but if it's showing on a plane (which is doubtful in its current form), I'd watch it.

The Hunger Games

Plot Points

This is a difficult film for me to review with any objectivity since I've already read, and enjoyed, the books its based on. I can say that I thought the acting was decent, the special effects a little cheap looking, and that it was generally entertaining. However I think if I hadn't read the books I'd have found it a little long, and a lot of the 'significant' moments would have felt perfunctory and rushed. In particular, I think I would have missed much of the subtext (to be fair I was strung out on heroin while watching) and just shrugged at some of the more emotional moments. However even in its more watered form its 10,000 times more interesting than twilight.

The Raid: Redemption

I really wanted to like The Raid. Advance word was all super positive, and made it sound like a balls-to-the-wall, super intense, actioner. Well there is a lot of action but the whole thing ultimately fell flat. It has two big problems. First, other than a few perfunctory nods, it gives you very little reason to care about any of the characters. Its just 'fight-break-fight' for 100 minutes. This isn't in itself a fatal flaw, bit the film needs to give you some way to feel the stakes and that all the carnage matters, rather than just giving the impression that you're watching a video game. This leads me to my second problem, with is with the fights themselves. They're cool in a sort of bunch of guys sitting around a tv saying 'Damn' way, and as a twenty minute demo reel of fight choreography they'd be really effective. However in a film that's trying to portray a super intense fight to the death they come of as cartoony, and eventually, tedious. They go on forever, and the film is so self-serious it eventually becomes a slog. I was obviously in the minority as there was a lot cheering at the end of my screening so I guess I'm just a precious little flower who can't handle bad-assery.

John Carter

Here's the relevant plot points. I'm sort of fascinated by flops, and once it looked like John Carter was on that path (or as much as a film that'll probably break $150 million gross can be) I decided to check it out before it ended its run. Plus I started to hear some pushback reviews suggesting it wasn't as bad as the early word. After watching it, I guess that's true.

Now it does have problems, to wit:

-It's overly long (well over two hours)

-The script is better than the phantom menace, but probably worse than Avatar (expository at best, and sooooo self -serious)

-Taylor Kitch is incredibly miscast, though since I've yet to see him in something where I actually liked him I'm not sure what properly cast would be (Maybe the forthcoming battleship). Lets just say if Mcnulty had played the lead instead of the main bad guy I'd have been much more into it.

All that said, the action scenes are well done (you can generally follow what's going on) and it has a few nice moments. Plus when it ended with an obvious set up for a sequel I had enough interest in the characters to think I would probably check out a followup as a matinee if nothing I liked better was showing. So there you go.

Friends with kids

To get the relevant plot description read this. And really, that review also sums up how I feel about the film. It has a strong cast, with some nice moments of observation, but its depiction of marriage and kids is in some ways as cliched as something you'd see in an Adam Sandler film. Don't get me wrong I'm not exactly Mr. 'Kid's are all roses and sunshine' but I have many friends who are starting to, or already have had, kids and none of their lives are as completely ruined or chaotic as the couples portrayed in this film. Its almost cartoony at times, which is too bad because it does have elements that do recommend it. If it had been able to keep away from the shrill character dynamics, and genre required plot machinations, I think there could have really been something interesting here about being single in your late 30's. What we're left with is a well-acted, occasionally insightful, but generally problematic comedy. Which is still more than I can say about The Vow (I just assume, I never saw it. As far as you know).

One Tree Hill Update/Chronicle

I know many of you have been devastated about the lack of One Tree Hill recaps, and all I can say is that I apologize. Its a complete fail on my part, and I have no excuse for it (except for the re-emergence of my raging coke habit). Anyway I watched the last half hour of the most recent episode and boy did it not disappoint. My favorite part revolved around Clay and his long-lost son. Now we all knew that Clay's wife died about four years ago, but what was never mentioned, until this very episode, was that they had a kid as well. Why was it never mentioned (or indeed why did this fact never come up in the many conversations he had with his dead wife's hallucination)? Well apparently Clay was so broken up by his wife's death that he just immediately blocked the fact that he had a son from his memory and skipped town. Awesome. Let that sink in for a minute. Basically the writers just decided:

'Hey we need to introduce some more drama, lets give Clay a kid. But we've never mentioned this progeny before how can we get around the fact that Clay's essentially been a dead beat dad for several years? I know - traumatic amnesia, and conveniently he never sent any sort of baby photos/announcements/pleas for cash to any friends or family in that whole time as well. And his current girlfriend will just think this is all completely normal. Done'

Anyway, when he finally realizes that his kid is still around (living in institutional care) he tells the kid that he's really sorry and would like to be part of his life going forward. Well the kid, displaying the most rationality of any character in this show, says no and walks out of the room. Burn. Of course I'm sure this will lead to a three episode arc of Clay trying to buy, I mean, earn his son's affection back using some convieniently placed items from the CW's sponsors. I love this show.

Chronicle

I saw this a few weeks ago, and generally enjoyed it. I'm sort of blase about the found footage gimmick, but not as annoyed as most people seem to be. Also the last seen has one of the worst green-screened backgrounds I've ever seen. Seriously its amazingly bad. I guess the budget constraints were seriously hard and binding. That's what she said.

Haywire

I immediately left the country after seeing this (note correlation does not imply causation) so my motivation to write a lot has fallen. As always here's the onion review if you want a plot recap.

I actually enjoyed haywire quite a bit, and liked the matter of fact manner in which it was executed. In particular the fight scenes (though not completely realistic) weren't needlessly drawn out and seemed appropriately brutal. Still at this point is does seem like Soderbergh's kind of just screwing with us. First he makes a film starring a porn star that features no sex (The girlfriend experience), then a seventies style disaster film just so he can market it around Gwenyth Paltrow dying (Contagion), and now he uses a MMA star with no acting experience to make a compelling spy thriller built entirely around her (and it works). When you next consider his next project is a fictionalized account of Channing Tatum's time spent as a male stripper, it just seems like he wants to show everyone he can do whatever he wants (and once I heard that this last project will star Matthew Mcconaughey as Tatum's mentor you know its going to great) and make it work. If it came out that he was going to make etch a sketch the movie, starring snooki, and it turned out to be entertaining I wouldn't be shocked.

So yeah, go see haywire.

Tintin, and the 'Best of 2011'

Tintin is watchable if forgettable. But it did lead me to realize just what a string of mediocre films I saw this year. Really even the stuff I liked didn't really blow me away, and the film that stuck with me the most (Tree of Life) may have just been a bunch of pretentious nonsense I still can't decide. With all that said here's the 'best' of 2011 in no particular order. As always this is just based on films I saw during the calendar year not when they were released. As a result The Artist didn't have a chance not to end up on it.

Take Shelter

Midnight in Paris - I'm a Woody Allen sucker what can I say

Another Earth

Moneyball

Drive

Your Highness - This is more of a screw you to everyone who crapped on this film. Its obviously not a great work of art but it made me laugh...a lot.

Tree of Life - Like I said earlier, it may not be good, and I still can't decide if its amazing or ponderous, but it definitely caused me to think more than any other film this year so that has to count for something.

And just for the heck of it, here's the other films I saw this year that I liked enough that I might actually consider watching them again, at least as TNT saturday afternoon viewing if Ace of Cakes isn't on:

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Parts 1&2

Drive Angry

Fast Five

Thor

Captain America

Warrior

The Muppets

X-Men first class

The Lincoln Lawyer

And just because here's the return of Wooderson.

The Artist

As promised here's the avclub review for the salient plot points.

I don't have much to say about this (famous last words). Its a generally fun little film, that's able to hold your attention even though its silent. Its definitely not the best film of the year (even though the word is its going to win), but whatever, not everything can be Crank 2.

The one thing I will say is that its got a few surprisingly dark moments - specifically two suicide attempts including one self-immolation. The second one is even played off as a joke and completely ignored by the person who saw the main character re-create Rigg's first scene From Lethal Weapon. So that's cool. I guess what I'm saying is go see The Artist if you think suicide is a joke.

Young Adult

Alright I've decided to stop even bothering to do a plot recap in these things (unless of course there's something I want to mock). I'll just include a link to the AV club review and then write my drivel.

This film really hasn't been that well received, and I sort of get why. The mechanics are a little clunky, and the characters aren't particularly likable, but I think it might be a satire, and if so, then it might be kind of genius. Basically the film follows a borderline insane alcoholic (Charlize Theron) who leaves the big city (Minneapolis) to go back to the small town where she grew up and try to get her ex-boyfriend back. In any other film of this type she would go through some not-too damaging hijinks, before having an emotional epiphany, learning an important life lesson, and inevitably deciding to stay in the small town with all the real people. This film doesn't do this. Everyone around her treats her behavior in an appropriately disturbed manner, and just when she's about to learn the lesson and make a decision to change her life, the film pulls her back and she decides to go back the the big city and stay just as self deluded as she was before. So like I said, if this was intended as a genre send-up then its kind of interesting. However the fact that I'm not completely sure that was the intention does point to some execution problems, so maybe I have no point.

And Patton Oswalt is really good in this.

Hugo

Yeah, yeah, its Martin Scorsese doing a 3-D kid's film about the wonder of cinema, lets all line up around the block and pay homage. Snark aside, the film is fine, though not as monumental as some of the hype (but not the box office) would suggest. It does try a little too hard to generate whimsy at times, and the Sascha Baren Cohen character is just a distraction, but overall its watchable, though I don't see it becoming an enduring holiday classic along the lines of Die Hard 2 or Rocky 4.

That said the film trotted out one trope that just annoys me every time I see it. At the very end one of the main character gets up to get a speech at an event meant to honor him. Now this event (a hog-tying ceremony) is attended by hundreds of people who undoubtedly paid a lot of money to go, so they have a reasonable expectation of some sort of coherent remarks. What they actually get is one of those speeches that exist solely in films, where the character gives a speech not only directed at one other character in the audience, but delivers it in such a manner that everyone else who hadn't been intimately involved in the plot for the last two hours would have been completely lost and have no idea of what he was talking about. It was basically something like this:

"Well I wouldn't be here tonight if it weren't for the courage of one person who did that one thing with the thing and then made a end around this other thing event though he wanted this thing. Now come and Dream with me.'

This is of course greeted with rapturous applause even though nobody there would have any idea what he was talking about. Its perfectly possible to give a speech thanking individual people while still being entertaining (as an example do not watch the Academy Award acceptance speeches). Just once I'd love a crowd in a movie to give ones that don't the tepid responses they actually deserve.

Melancholia

Alright before I get into the review I need to be perfectly clear that I was really not in the right mood to see this kind of film. I went in distracted, and really only went because its been on a bunch of best of lists and I wanted to get it in before it got pulled from the theatres. I wholeheartedly acknowledge that my reaction might change if I see it again in a better frame of mind.

Okay now that the preliminaries out of the way lets get to it. Melancholia is an incredibly bleak film. And not 'wow that was intense' bleak, but tediously bleak. It opens with the titular planet destroying the earth in super slow motion, and then jumps back in time a few months to lead us back to that moment. The rest of the film focuses on four characters (two sisters, a husband, and a son) in one location - a manor in some indeterminate location. We then get two hours of watching a mentally ill woman (Kirsten Dunst) act really sad, and then everything ends. Plus the main point seems to be that everything is meaningless so just accept our destruction (and yes I'm being intentionally flippant). That's not my issue since I've seen other films powerfully make this same point, but they did it in a much more engaging manner. I had at least six indiglo moments during the runtime, and spent the rest of the time fidgeting (granted that can probably be attributed to the meth, but still).

Now its not a worthless film. I liked the matter a fact way it approached the end of the earth, and the performances, such that they are, are good (I would go so far to say this is Dunst's best performance since Bring it On). Still I can't get past the fact that it was just really pedantic and tedious, which ended up overwhelming its positive elements.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

TTSS (see what I did there) is an incredibly mannered film. Almost to a fault. It takes great pains to tell this story about the search for a Russian mole in the British Intelligence Service in the most calm and deliberate manner possible. There aren't any histrionics, very little action, and almost no raised voices. This is all fine, but as a result it takes about an hour to get going and almost falls over the brink into complete tedium. Thankfully the performances keep that from happening, and once the story gets moving the film coalesces into a reasonably engaging spy thriller. It doesn't reinvent the genre, but its worth checking out. Just with the proviso that the first half is really slooooow.