Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Timeline of the first six minutes of the viewing experience:

3 min: Check the watch for the first time
5 min: After seeing the surprisingly cheap (and not endearingly cheap) werewolf effects, for the first, but not last time, I entertain the thought "why didn't I stay home and watch groundhog day on FX?"
5:30 min: Wonder why David Frost (Michael Sheen) is running around bare chested and wearing an inverted spike dog collar?
5:32 min: Realize I don't care at all
6 min: Check watch for the first time and have the captain turn on "Please completely and utterly stop caring" sign

And so on

Look, its not like I expected much out of the film. I think I saw the first one several years ago, and all I remember is that Kate Beckinsdale and Bill Nighy were vampires, she falls in love with a werewolf, and for some reasons uzis were prominently involved so I don't see this installment leaving any more of a lasting impression. Its not that the film was bad, bad I can deal with, particularly if a film is so bad its awful (thank you Armaggedon), this was just incredibly boring. When dealing with a story that is really just Vampires fighting Werewolves boring should be the last feeling a viewer is left with. Wasting time trying to build up a convoluted back story is dumb (unless you have a really good writer - not the case here), when you really should be reveling in the inherent ridiculousness of the scenario and giving people kick ass fight scenes and loads of killing (see Blade 2 for the ultimate example of this). When more time is spent discussing the internal politics of the ancient vampire coven than there is fighting its probably a bad sign (though given how badly these fight scenes were staged it may have been the right choice). I don't even want to bother going into the logical holes in the plot, or inconsistent character actions, its not worth it. Really, boredom aside, I'm really not that annoyed. There was no sign that a better film could have been made with the material on hand so I don't feel any frustration about that. Plus its difficult to feel like I was intellectually disappointed by a film featuring count chocula fighting snoopy on steroids. This was just a product that generated complete and utter boredom, do with that what you will.

Oh I did have to sit through this so I guess I am angry (slams head into desk)