I may be a little less than focused for this. Its the final game of the regular season in my fantasy football league and I'm playing for the division (and the ever valuable bye week). I'm currently up by nine (of course I was on plane this morning and missed the fact that my kicker was benched and got a nice zero out of that position) and my opponent has the vikings defense playing Arizona. So far so good but a pick six would kill me, therefore if you see a stream of profanity you know why.
-It looks like the Jerry McGuire ripoff is in full effect. Clay's former agency has taken all his clients and he has to drive to Arkansas to convince some unknown college QB to stick with him.
-Jamie's favorite movie is White Man Can't Jump. That's some sound parenting right there. This gives Skills the idea to use Jaime and his annoying friend Chet in his promo video for a job as a sports coordinator.
-Nathan's agency proposes that he go Spain to play because every (I repeat 'every') NBA team has a full roster and is capped out(see previous post). They seem to imply that playing in Europe for a year will raise his profile enough to get an NBA deal. So he's gone from getting a two year $20 million contract offer to getting shipped off to Spain. Are we sure he's actually any good?
-Ahh Mouth misses the Old Mille, not the new drunk driver version. He says this all to her while she's passed out. Savvy
-Phew, she was just pretending to sleep.
-Julian tells Alex that Brooke can't have kids. He wants her to keep it to herself. Then proceeds tells her that he didn't know how much he wanted to have kids until he found out he couldn't have any. That's right, tell the emotionally unstable drug addict model who is still in love with you that you want to have kids. That'll keep her away.
-Clay apparently drives to Arkansas from North Carolina in one morning to convince this great unknown QB prospect to stick with him. It seems like it should have taken more time for him to get there. Lets pause a second to check Google Maps....yeah it should have been 13 hours minimum, and there's no way his suit should still be perfectly pressed. I call misleading. This prospect has an agent so he's obviously not enrolled in college (or maybe he is, and Clay is about to put a University on probation) yet Clay is banking on him to be the next great NFL QB, even though nobody knows about him (his words). An auspicious debut for the new agency.
-Oh no, even Tebow part two is thinking about firing him. We're this close to having Clay scream Show Me The Money.
-Millie flips out when Alex flushes the last of her crack. She's a mean drunk (or junkie, or whatever).
-Alright Opie isn't so unknown, he knows he's due a big payday and cuts Clay off like Michael did to Fredo.
-Haley has to go on tour, so now Nathan can't just run off to Spain because they wouldn't be together. Apparently her going on tour would be okay if he still played for Charlotte because...he would go with her???
-Alex gives Brooke fertility booklets. This goes over well.
-Clay makes a detour to Memphis, lets check google again...okay only three hours, its possible, but then gets back to tree hill before nighfall possible. Though he apparently has traveled 1500 in one day with several stops. Maybe Millie isn't the only crack addict.
-Skills has Jaime and Chuck dress like the guys from White Men Can't jump and reenact some scenes. This is wrong on so many levels. Not least because a ten year old goofy white kid is playing Wesley Snipes' role. Poor Wesley.
-Millie's cocaine contact says she has to steal Brooke's prototype dress or the C-Train is cut off. I sense a confrontation.
-Jaime is draining ten footers and dribbling like he's on the Globetrotters. The show then honest to god has him dunk. He used chuck as a stepping stool, but really? They actually plays this whole scene straight, like its perfectly normal for a six year old to dunk on a ten foot rim (which I actually kind of respect). Also Skills is doing this reel to get a job as a sports coordinator, and there's nothing Hollywood looks for more than kids playing street ball. Actually strike that, there's probably a remake of White Men Can't jump starring elementary school kids in the works.
-Nathan, in a stunning display of logic, realizes that Haley can go on tour for a few weeks and then meet him in Spain. Haley is flabbergasted by this idea.
-Apparently Alex's movie didn't sell because she was attached and nobody wanted to produce a film by a marginally talented actress who has a sordid past. Much like the NBA this versionof Hollywood apparently has a morality clause.
-Yes Arizona, 27 points and Minnesota's defense throws up a nice -2 points. Who's the big winner?
-Mouth gives mille the old 'If you walk out that door don't bother coming back speech,' Brooke tells Julian she needs some time apart, Clay tell Quinn he's leaving, and Skills and Jaime have an emotional breakup. Sooooo much drama.
-Skills asks Mouth to go to LA with him, man I hope he does. Maybe the writers have realized he sucks as bad as I think.
-Episode ends with Alex leaving Julian a morose e-mail and then slitting her wrists in a bathtup. No way they actually let her die, but a girl can hope.
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