John Carter

Here's the relevant plot points. I'm sort of fascinated by flops, and once it looked like John Carter was on that path (or as much as a film that'll probably break $150 million gross can be) I decided to check it out before it ended its run. Plus I started to hear some pushback reviews suggesting it wasn't as bad as the early word. After watching it, I guess that's true.

Now it does have problems, to wit:

-It's overly long (well over two hours)

-The script is better than the phantom menace, but probably worse than Avatar (expository at best, and sooooo self -serious)

-Taylor Kitch is incredibly miscast, though since I've yet to see him in something where I actually liked him I'm not sure what properly cast would be (Maybe the forthcoming battleship). Lets just say if Mcnulty had played the lead instead of the main bad guy I'd have been much more into it.

All that said, the action scenes are well done (you can generally follow what's going on) and it has a few nice moments. Plus when it ended with an obvious set up for a sequel I had enough interest in the characters to think I would probably check out a followup as a matinee if nothing I liked better was showing. So there you go.

Friends with kids

To get the relevant plot description read this. And really, that review also sums up how I feel about the film. It has a strong cast, with some nice moments of observation, but its depiction of marriage and kids is in some ways as cliched as something you'd see in an Adam Sandler film. Don't get me wrong I'm not exactly Mr. 'Kid's are all roses and sunshine' but I have many friends who are starting to, or already have had, kids and none of their lives are as completely ruined or chaotic as the couples portrayed in this film. Its almost cartoony at times, which is too bad because it does have elements that do recommend it. If it had been able to keep away from the shrill character dynamics, and genre required plot machinations, I think there could have really been something interesting here about being single in your late 30's. What we're left with is a well-acted, occasionally insightful, but generally problematic comedy. Which is still more than I can say about The Vow (I just assume, I never saw it. As far as you know).

One Tree Hill Update/Chronicle

I know many of you have been devastated about the lack of One Tree Hill recaps, and all I can say is that I apologize. Its a complete fail on my part, and I have no excuse for it (except for the re-emergence of my raging coke habit). Anyway I watched the last half hour of the most recent episode and boy did it not disappoint. My favorite part revolved around Clay and his long-lost son. Now we all knew that Clay's wife died about four years ago, but what was never mentioned, until this very episode, was that they had a kid as well. Why was it never mentioned (or indeed why did this fact never come up in the many conversations he had with his dead wife's hallucination)? Well apparently Clay was so broken up by his wife's death that he just immediately blocked the fact that he had a son from his memory and skipped town. Awesome. Let that sink in for a minute. Basically the writers just decided:

'Hey we need to introduce some more drama, lets give Clay a kid. But we've never mentioned this progeny before how can we get around the fact that Clay's essentially been a dead beat dad for several years? I know - traumatic amnesia, and conveniently he never sent any sort of baby photos/announcements/pleas for cash to any friends or family in that whole time as well. And his current girlfriend will just think this is all completely normal. Done'

Anyway, when he finally realizes that his kid is still around (living in institutional care) he tells the kid that he's really sorry and would like to be part of his life going forward. Well the kid, displaying the most rationality of any character in this show, says no and walks out of the room. Burn. Of course I'm sure this will lead to a three episode arc of Clay trying to buy, I mean, earn his son's affection back using some convieniently placed items from the CW's sponsors. I love this show.

Chronicle

I saw this a few weeks ago, and generally enjoyed it. I'm sort of blase about the found footage gimmick, but not as annoyed as most people seem to be. Also the last seen has one of the worst green-screened backgrounds I've ever seen. Seriously its amazingly bad. I guess the budget constraints were seriously hard and binding. That's what she said.