Burn After Reading

Its been about twenty four hours and I'm still befuddled by this film. This confusion doesn't stem from lack of understanding, but rather I just can't figure why the films exists. Its truly the embodiment of a pointless artistic expression. I don't mean pointless in the Seinfield 'show about nothing' sense but truly not giving any reason for existence other than to indulge the egos of those involved in making it. But I digress. My opinions about No Country for Old Men non withstanding, I can generally be considered a Coen brothers fan. I think they have a unique voice, and typically make interesting pictures. If you had told me they were making a spy comedy with the following elements I would think I would be getting a high energy screw ball comedy along the lines of The Big Lebowski, Intolerable Cruelty, or Rasing Arizona:
-George Clooney playing a philandering US marshall who constanly goes for a run after his affaris
-John Malkovich attacking Richard Jenkins with a hatchet
-Brad Pitt playing a clueless gym employee named Chad with horrible hair, who's a little too into his job

What we actually get is a series of moderately conncected scenes that really just leave you scratching your head as to why they exist. I won't even bothering getting into the plot, one because it doesn't matter, and two the film doesn't really seem to care. They even have several scenes with JK Simons as a CIA cheif who constantly asks 'Let me Know when it all makes sense.' Its as if the Coen's are saying 'Oooh, look at us, we're so meta, we acknowledge that's the plot really doesn't make any sense and as a result you should accept it.' I'm sorry but no. If you're going to make a film with an irrelevant plot than at the very least give me interesting characters and solid execution. This film has neither. The characters are all caricatures of what I'm sure looked like quirky characters on the page, but in practice are just tiresome. I'm sure this was a really fun film to make, and its possible that it only came together so all these famous people could hang out and get high. Really had this not involved the talent it does, it may have gotten a two week run and been dismissed with a collective yawn and wanking motion by the film going public. Instead you're just dissapointed that everyone involved shot so low, and then completely forget that it ever happened.