One Tree Hill

To recap a few big cliffhangers from last time:

-Julian tells Brooke he loves her but she can't say it back
-Peyton's pregnancy threatens her life!!!!
-Millie may be leaving for good (hopefully causing Mouth to kill himself)
-Haley tries to stand up for free speech in the high school paper she advises on, but gets fired

I know you can't wait so lets get right to it:

- Haley is replaced by the principal who fired her, and of course the students revolt. Just like all the public schools I went to. The entire class even breaks into her house to show their solidarity. Nothing says support like breaking and entering
-Damnit Skills, don't try to reunite Mouth and Millie. I really need them to dissapear.
-OMG!!! - Julian comes back to take Brooke away to Malibu. And he's so sensitive he agrees to take her seventeen year old, alleged, foster child with them. Because a high school kid apparently can't look after themselves for a weekend.
-This event apparently means that she can't come back to visit, because she's afraid that by going to LA she won't be able to be Peyton's main of honor. I didn't realize that flights from North Carolina to LA were one way.
-Lucas and Nathan bring the devil child Jaime to their murdered Uncle Keith's auto shop to learn more about him. Actually here's a good chance to recap the Keith storyline:

Lucas and Nathan are both Dan's kid by different women
Keith is Dan's Brother
Keith falls in love with Lucas's mother
Dan gets jealous
Dan shoots keith during a high school shooting and makes it look like the high school shooter (who coincidentally killed himself first) did it

Got all that? And you doubted this was the greatest show ever.

Anyway they spend the afternoon telling the four year about his gunned down great uncle he never met.
-Wait, Skills is a genius. He's taking Mouth to a college party to hook up with drunk sorority girls. I'm sorry I doubted. Mouth's ex-girlfriend immediately has him do a keg stand. Mouth immediately starts visualizing Millie's body on the hot slutty college girls.
-Back to the high school kids, they even reference Dead Poets Society and say they won't leave Haley's house until she teaches them Catch-22. I'm not joking. She proceeds to break out her living room whiteboard and teaches hell out of their fertile minds. The evil principal then walks into her house breaking up this veritable Algonquin roundtable. Haley then gives the Principal some heartfelt advice about dealing with misunderstood teenagers, who apparently will eat up everything you give them if you only treat them like adults.
-World weary Mouth, who best I can figure is about 22, sits with Skills and reminices about how much easier college was and how deeply he regrets letting the right one (Millie) get away. Skills, in a very dissapointing move, immediately agrees to drive him to New York.
-We only have fifteen minutes left in the episode and Peyton's still not dead (boo), Mouth is driving to get back with Millie (double boo), Brooke still can't decide whether to go to LA (whatever), and I'm enjoying a strawberry scone. Mmmm, scones.
-Ahhh, Haley feels torn about going back to being a famous rock star because she loves teaching so much. I had a similiar issue back when I was teaching high school. Except replace famous rock star with accountant and loves to teach with gas.
-HAHAHAHA, possibly homeless Jack kisses Sam and says he wanted to do it then in case he never got a chance to in the future. She then makes a disgusted face and runs off. Welcome to my high school life Jack.
-Oh Snap, 'Congratulation Pricipal Renquist, you made a good teacher not want to teach, and good students not want to learn.' Haley you are a veritable Andrew Dice Clay.
-Millie is being plowed by the New York Jets offensive line when Mouth gets to her house. Okay I may have made that up. Mouth does some lame speech and she takes him back. More importantly we learn Millie's last name is Huxstable. Not sure whether to make the Cosby Sweater or pudding joke.
-Sam tries to talk Brooke into leaving with Julian, I think she really wants to avoid Jack. Again much like my high school experience. She instead goes to the airport to rub it in. Sissy boy starts cryingm and says some crap about how life isn't a movie and leaves. Again these people haven't heard of commuting?
-After hearing she's not going to LA Sam decides to settle for Jack since she's losing out on her shot at the Jonas brothers.
-Tonights emo closing slo-mo song if 'Save You' by Matther Perryman Jones, which is coincidentally also the name of my pet chinchilla.


rating out of ten: 11. Way too much mouth and Millie.