One Tree Hill

So I think I'm seeing this episode out of order but lets be honest, it doesn't really matter. It's not like narrative continuity is what drives this show.

-So we begin with it looking like Dan's going to his heart, but a crackhead in the ER trips the medic carrying he heart with his dog's leash. The dog then eats the heart after it falls out of the box. I'm not kidding. Lassie runs off with Dan's heart in her mouth. Best...Show....Ever
-Thankfully we're back with Dawson the director trying to get a helicopter to shoot the movie's final scene in order to have sex in it. This explains Michael Bay.
-Skillz is coaching Jaime's pee wee basketball team. Does he take it a little too seriously? He does. Does he wear a suit on the sidelines and scream at the ref? He does. Have I seen this hilarious scenario played out before, of course.
-The studio head who greenlit Lucas and Julian's movie gets fired, and suddenly the whole production is in limbo - duh duh duh. I'll ruin the suspense for you - the movie gets canceled. Dawson celebrates because he's still getting paid. He then rolls up in a stretch hummer limousine. Before leaving he calls out Lucas and Julian for being the little whiners they are, and toasts them by saying 'To the friendships we made along the way and the insane amount of ass we get for doing this job.' He then tells the little babies that he got them their production bonus because he shot a little film the night before, and then flies off with an actress in a helicopter he charged to the film. Possibly my favorite character of all time.
-I now realize that I missed a whole show of what could be considered major plot developments and didn't even notice. Not something I could say about Lost. Another reason this show rocks-you don't have to worry about catching every single episode in order. Makes watching much less stressful.
-They keep bringing the four year old back to the cemetary to have conversations with dead people. That's good parenting.
-Dan wanders into the ocean and screams at God. I guess seeing Rin Tin Tin eat your donor heart makes you a little annoyed at the almighty. Of course after he ends up back on the beach some spiky haired peroxide individual, probably named Troy, jogs by and says 'Great Day to be Alive.' That's what we call irony folks.
-In this episode of shameless product placement, Jaime designs his own Tree Hill on the Sims. This is one show that doesn't need a stimulus package.
-Hey the actor that plays Nathan is from Hemet, CA, right near my childhood neighborhood (give or take a 45 minute ride which in southern california makes it practically next door).The question is whether he was involved in the thriving meth trade or the giant Scientology center up there. I'm guessing Scientology. I think he got the meth habit after moving to North Carolina.
-Jaime has Dan admit that he's the one who killed Keith and gets mad. So the four year old is now feeling closer to the dead great uncle he never actually met than the grandfather who saved him from the pshyco nanny. I blame the fact that the parents make him hang out in cemetaries for fun.
-So that whole Brooke /Julian, I love you storyline that was dealt with ad nauseum in the subsequent episode (which I wrote about last time) was also a focus of this episode. It doesn't get any less annoying the second time around.
-Good god this episode is actually featuring a song by a legitimate artist. Apparently at least one of the PA's is an Aimee Mann fan. Or they made a mistake. Either way its a welcome change from the typical soundtrack choices.
-To make up for this oversight the closing song is from The Fray
-Episode ends with Dan leaving, presumably to die. Unless I see him get run over by a steam roller I don't believe it. He'll probably come back with a Sony designed robot heart or something.


Episode rating on a scale of 10: 16