Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

I know, I know, I really have no defense for this. All I can say is that I had just gone a three hour run wanted to kill a few hours, and I kind of wanted to see if this was as big of a trainwreck as I'd heard. It is, but a boring one. I've sort of had a love, hate, ambivalent relationship with the works of Mr. Michael Bay. I actually really enjoyed The Rock, found Bad Boys to be entertaining in a ridiculous sort of way, and think Armageddon is one of the pinnacles of unintentional comedy that gets more rewatchable by the year. Had Mr. Bay stuck with making these type of films he and I probably would have gone about our respectives lives with no ill-will (granted its sort of a one-sided relationship but stick with me). Then came the run of Pearl Harbor, Bad Boys II, and Transformers when Bay decided he was a serious filmmaker and his films went from ridiculously over the top (which I can deal with and kind of enjoy) to mind-numbingly boring, and there is nothing I hate more than boring filmmaking. Bad I can deal with, heck I can even enjoy fiascos, but if I'm bored you have failed utterly and completely. And look at the subject matter of those three films (WWII, Miami Cops, Robots Hitting eachother) there is no excuse to not be at least moderately engaging. Transformers II continues this trend. I really don't want to get into the specifics because I don't have the energy. It was two and a half hours long that I probably checked my watch at least six times. The film has no sense of humor about itself (Robots hitting eachother, not the most serious subject matter) as Bay shoots every scene like its the most important event in human history (again Robots hitting eachother). It even has elements that in almost any other film I would consider patently offensive (the 'black' robot twins who speak in ebonics have gold teeth and are illiterate, or the blantant support of a totalitarian military state) but this film is so tedious that even these otherwise insulting elements are neutered to the point of being completely ignorable. The only bright (and I use that term in the loosest possible manner) spot is John Turturro who seems to at least understand the absurdity of the rest of the film and tries to embrace the ridiculousness. And I can't underestimate ridiculousness besides the aforementioned doofus brothers, the film features transformer babies, a visit by Shia to transformer heaven, and a mini transformer humping Megan Fox's leg (just to begin with). You would think at least one of those things would have been handled with a bit of real levity, but they all feel tired and fall completely flat. I have nothing else to say its boring (though not as boring as Angels and Demons) and a waste of time.