One Tree Hill: At The Bottom of Everything

There's been some debate by the two people who actually read this blog about whether these one tree hill recaps should continue. One the one side Mark (who apparently is still figuring out the page down key) says he can't take it anymore and the show sounds too horrible to read about (though the fact that he is reading it sort of undercuts his point). Michael (in all his good taste and charisma) feels that I'm doing a community service with my pithy and non spell-checked entries. After literally seconds of soul searching I decided that I'm going to continue (at least until I see a shiny nickel to distract me).

This is a special pre-Cal beatdown of Duke edition of the recap (a boy can dream - I'm counting on you Max Zhang) so our concurrent viewing is the end of the Syracuse-Gonzaga game, which currently has Syracuse up 30 with 12 minutes left. I think the Zags still have a shot.

-The previously on recap ends with Haley's mom telling the girls she has cancer so I'm guessing the show is going to start with some slapstick humor?

-Oh its a somber family breakfast livened up by the worlds most annoying five year old Jaime. It ends with the dying mom calling everybody a bunch of buzzkills for not cracking wise over bacon. Seriously what a bunch of killjoys.

-Alex wakes up with 'most definitely not gay fashion designer also named Alex' still in her bed and throws a reasonable fit about not being able to sleep because the patio salesman convention guys are throwing parties in the next hotel room and blared metal all night. He basically calls her uptight since he apparently smoked a whole bag of weed the night before and slept through Appetite for Destruction.

-Hey the banner ad says I can connect with the hill as: 'The characters you love face the exciting possibility of dreams come true and the heartbreaking reality that being an adult isn't as easy as it seems.' I didn't make a mistake writing that, apparently the exciting possibility is dreams come true and opposed to coming true. Bold.

-Millie is still in NA and let me just say it doesn't really like the meetings I saw Bubbles attend in The Wire. I feel misled.

-The bartender at the one hangout in town has apparently written a great album and can't release it because he hasn't gotten over the chick he wrote it about. I think this is the same reason Axel waited so long to release Chinese Democracy.

-Pac-10 and Big-10 are the conferences with the highest proportion of teams remaining in the tournament. Suck it East Coast bias.

-Mouth starts to make a move on Skillz' woman Lauren while Skillz is in LA working. She starts it by saying how its so hard being apart and they don't talk as much, and she may just stop dating because its so hard to move on, blah blah blah. Between this, Quinn dumping her husband for no real rational reason, and Brooke breaking up with Julian for helping someone who just tried to commit suicide, the women on this show are showing a bit of instability.

-Millie comes back from NA and gets all pissie about mouth playing videogames (not a euphemism) with Lauren. Having watched enough procedurals I know this will inevitably drive her back to the smack.

-Julian and Brooke's parents are hooking up. He follows up this news by making a subtle move to get back together with Brooke. Interesting reaction.

-I just went a whole segment without writing a comment, mainly because it just dealt with boring Mouth and Millie and everybody talking about coming to terms with Haley's mom's impending death. My restraint has nothing to do with good taste and not wanting to make fun of the death of (fictional) people, I was just too bored to write anything. Not a good sign for the show.

-Owen is back sporting a heroic beard (which of course symbolizes his journey through addiction) and becomes Millie's sponsor. He also tells her to try and get Mouth back by 'showing him she's still the girl he fell in love with' but you know without the cocaine addiction.

-Grubbs the bartender tortures the hot British record exec about recording until she dresses up in lingerie and walks through the bar to show him that she believes in him and thinks he can succeed? I'm so in the wrong line of work. Though I believe this is the same way Barry Gordy signed the Supremes.

-The whole theme of the episode is about taking chances so it ends with Grubbs signing the recording contract, Mouth asking Lauren out, and Brooke walking in on Alex in Julian's bed - Why can't anything ever be easy for these crazy kids? Somehow I'm guessing that He just let her use his room to get some sleep, but I'm betting Brooke won't handle the development with aplomb.