One Tree Hill - What are you willing to lose

Oh yeah baby we're back. As this new television season has begun and I started getting set with my viewing rotation (Parks and Recreation, The Office, Dollhouse and soon to be Chuck welcome back. Glee and Community -welcome to the party, for now) there was one show that I was anticipating more than any other which, I'm sure you figured out by the title of this post, is the glorious One Tree Hill. Before we get into another season of North Carolina goodness (mmm dry rub) I have a few programming notes. Apparently my One tree hill facebook group didn't let me know that the CW would only have the most recent episode up to watch so we're starting this off with the second episode of season seven (seriously there's already been six seasons of this). I don't think I'll have a problem jumping right in. Secondly, if I remember, I'm going to include the title of each episode in the post's title. We'll play a little game where if one of the character's says the title in the show you win a, I don't know, ticket to a box social or something. Fun for the whole family. Anyway, here we go:

-oohh, some groupie is claiming that Nathan slept with her on the road. I'm sure Haley will rationally listen to his explanation and not freak out
-Ahhh Julian's gives up a hollywood career to be with brooke. Apparently North Carolina still hasn't realized cross country flights exist. Also its apparently not okay to take off for a few weeks to shoot a movie every once in awhile. Brooke must be one needy chick.
-Nathan and his agent reenact the Rocky and Apollo beach run from Rocky III. He then freaks out and practically starts crying - Wahh I'm a highly paid NBA player and allegations of promiscuity are going to ruin my chance at a new contract. Seriously he says that. Its a new NBA.
-Skillz and Mouth try to force the other one to move out by being naked around the house all the time to freak the other out
-Dan is now a motivational speaker with a TV show and smoking hot wife, that's about right. If I'm right Dan's wife is the crazy nanny who tries to kill him last year. Stockholm syndrome anyone.
-Some mean woman with a british accent is trying to buy Peyton and Haley's record label and shut them down. Apparently having the headliner of the Starburst summer concert series is a big deal
-Julian hangs a poster of The Thin Red Line on his wall. Some writer has taste
-Brooke thinks the poster is tacky and wants it out of the living room - that's about right
-It turns out the new actress hired to be the new face of Clothes over Bros hates disabled people ("Cripples and like retarded people - They're always drooling and like smiling really wierd"), doesn't take rehab seriously, and say's north carolina is hot that it smells like the "Devil's Ass." She also says BTW, and makes up the fact that she only east organic food. Accurate portrayal of hollywood as always
-Dan tries to convince a panhandler he should believe in himself and gives him a copy of his book. called 'Scott Free Redemption' (puns are fun). If this leads to Dan becomming the Anti Christ and taking over the world I'm all for it.
-Nathan runs into a restaurant and starts screaming at his accuser - Wahhh - WHy are you doing this to me!?. That always works
-The crazy actress ends up calling Brooke fat and not getting a 'That's what she said' joke. Wow portraying a hollywood actress as vapid and condescending who won't wear purple because she has a childhood fear of Barney. Well-played One Tree Hill.
-Jaime buried Skillz and Lauren in the sand, so they couldn't get out and they ended up getting burned when he forgot about them. Seriously a seven year old was able to fully bury two grown adults in the sand and completely debilitate them.
-Oh snap, Mia rolls in and says the mean british girl will lose her biggest selling artist if she doesn't keep the label open. That's right you don't mess with a myspace headliner
-The mean actress talks her way back into Brooke's good graces by claiming one of her dresses saved her after rehab (seriously, some crap about how it gave her dignity) - Brooke and Milly of course fall for it and agree to keep her on board (and pay her $500K)
-Uh oh the groupie has pictures what could they be????
-Mia's bluff works, and Haley and the mean English lady make up. And she says Haley has to record an album in six months if she wants to keep the label open. I smell cross promotion.
-Brooke tells off Julian's mean movie producer dad for being a bad father.
-Julian's dad was too busy 'Caring for fictional characters instead of caring for the real ones in his life.' He's proud of Julian for ignoring cross country air travel, and living his own life. 'And Whatever you do don't be like me.' You know, shave or be successful.
-Apparently the groupie claims to have hooked up with Nathan at a party where he celebrated scoring 35 points against Memphis (that warrants celebration?) which was three months earlier. It turns out she gave the agent a picture of a sonogram which he expertly interprets as showing that she's three months pregnant. Apparently they got really drunk so the agent thinks maybe something did happen. What a turncoat
-Nice, the speech the actress gave to brooke about her dress was lifted from a film. Brooke doesn't notice because she's too busy jumping Julian's bones.
-Episode ends with Nathan about to tell Haley something important...I'm sure this will go well.

Man I'm glad this show is back