I've mad e it clear in the past that the Twilight story holds no interest for me (and yes I realize that I"m not the target audience) however I recently read something that ensures that I will at least see the fourth film in the series. Since I can't say it any better than Devin over at CHUD, give this a read before coming back to see a few additional thoughts. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Got all that? Good. I have confirmed the accuracy of the above summary with a friend of mine who has read all the books so I'm left to consider two possible scenarios:
1) The author, Stephanie Meyers, had so much F-you money after the success of the first three books that she decided to write the most insane, illogical, ode to pedophilia possible just to show that teenage girls would still lap it up as a tragic gothic romance.
2) She's just insane, and thinks that a twenty something werewolf become obsessed with a baby is what passes for true love.
Either way I'm intrigued, and can't wait to see how a major hollywood studio deals with what is essentially the Roman Polanski story (rimshot). They can't change the details dramatically because all the rabid fans will go absolutely nuts, but they risk alienating all the, who I like to call, thinking people. They're probably just going to have to suck it up and show how the circle of older men loving younger women going into eternity. If I have a daughter I'm never letting her read these books. Won't stop me from watching this movie though (even though I know there's no way it lives up to its absolutely insane promise).
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
This movie is absolutely glorious. Seriously. You have no idea. I'd forgotten how much fun Nicolas Cage can be when he actually tries. Much like Matthew McConaughy is the optimal guy to play a pot head, there is no one more suited than Cage at playing a cocaine-addled, corrupt, New Orleans Police officer. After seeing this performance I thought back to an interview I read with director Werner Herzog where he speculated that Cage may have actually been doing coke during the filming and I totally agreed. He's that good. But I digress.
You remember how much I loved Crank 2? Well Bad Lieutenant takes that film's sense of utter insanity and has talented people execute it. I don't remember being so happy during a viewing of a movie since, well, Crank 2. I'm not even going to bother getting into the plot, because it's kind of irrelevant, rather I'll just give you a few of my favorite moments:
-'Everything I take is prescription...except for the heroin'
-'Shoot him again. His soul's still dancing'
-extended P.O.V. shots from an alligator and two iguanas because...why not
-Cage emerging from behind the quintessential swinging door shot while shaving with an electric razor, and then proceeding to threaten two senior citizens (I don't want to ruin how this plays out, its amazing)
-Seriously I can't emphasize how great Cage's portrayal is. From the perfectly disheveled suit, to the iconic Cage crazy-bug eyes, to the .357 magnum that he keeps tucked in his waistband everywhere he goes. It's perfect, I couldn't stop smiling from the minute he came on screen.
I'll leave it at that because I can't do this justice. I'll just say if you're willing to get past the rampant drug use, sadism, and anti-social behavior on the part of law enforcement, I cannot recommend Bad Lieutenant highly enough.
Update: Here's an interview with director Herzog, that explains a lot. Read it after seeing the film though to preserve the experience. You have to love a guy whose film school aims to teach:
"...more practical subjects, will be the art of lockpicking. Traveling on foot. The exhilaration of being shot at unsuccessfully. The athletic side of filmmaking. The creation of your own shooting permits. The neutralization of bureaucracy. Guerrilla tactics. Self reliance."
and has guidelines like:
"Censorship will be enforced. There will be no talk of shamans, of yoga classes, nutritional values, herbal teas, discovering your Boundaries, and Inner Growth."
You remember how much I loved Crank 2? Well Bad Lieutenant takes that film's sense of utter insanity and has talented people execute it. I don't remember being so happy during a viewing of a movie since, well, Crank 2. I'm not even going to bother getting into the plot, because it's kind of irrelevant, rather I'll just give you a few of my favorite moments:
-'Everything I take is prescription...except for the heroin'
-'Shoot him again. His soul's still dancing'
-extended P.O.V. shots from an alligator and two iguanas because...why not
-Cage emerging from behind the quintessential swinging door shot while shaving with an electric razor, and then proceeding to threaten two senior citizens (I don't want to ruin how this plays out, its amazing)
-Seriously I can't emphasize how great Cage's portrayal is. From the perfectly disheveled suit, to the iconic Cage crazy-bug eyes, to the .357 magnum that he keeps tucked in his waistband everywhere he goes. It's perfect, I couldn't stop smiling from the minute he came on screen.
I'll leave it at that because I can't do this justice. I'll just say if you're willing to get past the rampant drug use, sadism, and anti-social behavior on the part of law enforcement, I cannot recommend Bad Lieutenant highly enough.
Update: Here's an interview with director Herzog, that explains a lot. Read it after seeing the film though to preserve the experience. You have to love a guy whose film school aims to teach:
"...more practical subjects, will be the art of lockpicking. Traveling on foot. The exhilaration of being shot at unsuccessfully. The athletic side of filmmaking. The creation of your own shooting permits. The neutralization of bureaucracy. Guerrilla tactics. Self reliance."
and has guidelines like:
"Censorship will be enforced. There will be no talk of shamans, of yoga classes, nutritional values, herbal teas, discovering your Boundaries, and Inner Growth."
Sunday, November 22, 2009
One Tree Hill - You are a runner and I am my Father's son
Promising Developments from last time:
-The Bobcats have 'capped' themselves out (apparently the NBA has a hard cap now) by trading for another point guard. The implication being Nathan won't be able to sign anywhere else, and we finally learn that the reason they were scared by the groupie thing is that he wasn't that good.
-Millie has moved on from regular diet pills to cocaine - the ultimate diet pill
-Brooke isn't pregnant - possibly the first time in a soap opera where a lack of pregnancy is the big shocker
And here we go:
-The show just ignores the fact that the NBA doesn't have a salary cap, just a luxury tax limit. Teams can spend as much as they want, they just have to pay a tax for any excess. But enough about the collective bargaining agreement.
-Nathan runs off to make Clay tell him why 'he lied to his face' when he told Nathan he would get a deal done.
-Nathan goes crazy when he hears that he can no longer play for the Bobcats (and that Clay is nailing Quinn) - he then fires Clay on the spot. I guess in this reality the Bobcats are a desirable team to play for.
-Even the Bobcats are unaware that the NBA doesn't have a hard cap. Michael Jordan must still be running things from the golf course.
-Really Mike Tolbert gets san diego's goal line carry??? Not LT or Gates??? Sorry fantasy football break
-Millie's crack addiction manifests itself by her sorting clothes. I guess this is better than knocking over a convenience store.
-Brooke takes out her not being pregnant on Julian.
-Alex realizes Millie has been stealing her coke. She gets suspicious when Millie comes over talking fast. She should be on The Wire, that's some good detecting.
-Rachel wants to do Dan's show from the hallway where he murdered his brother (we get a nice flashback) and a high school kid killed himself. She continues to be the most realistic character on the show, I can totally see Oprah doing the same thing.
-Millie plays hardball with Brooke and demands $500K to keep modeling. Nose Candy isn't going to buy itself.
-Brooke calls Millie an ungrateful employee for demanding market value. Who knew she was a closet communist.
-The moral of this week's show is that personal relationships are more important than business, and that Nathan should feel bad for firing Clay because they're friends. And Millie should feel bad for asking to get paid.
-Looks like Skillz is moving to LA to be a sports coordinator.
-Alex tells Millie she needs to stop doing coke. She says she will. That's what I call drug counseling.
-Clay's agency fires him over the Nathan deal. He walks off and puts a picture of Nathan and him facedown on the counter. That's what I call symbolism.
-Mouth: 'Television's funny. It can erase all your mistakes, or hold them against you.' Deep
-Quinn gets mad because Clay held out for a better deal and got fired. She argues his holding out meant that he thought Nathan was worth more and this shouldn't be held against him. This must be how Michael Crabtree's agent stays employed
-Brooke's infertile, duh duh duh
-Millie finds new cocaine contact (McKenna the model), looks like Alex's drug talk didn't work. Shocking
Mouth finds a rolled up hundred on the bathroom floor, and sees white residue on a mirror. Way to cover your tracks Millie. Maybe this means she wants to get caught. Or she just sucks at it.
-And we have the tell tale bloody nose as Millie vehemently denies being a drug addict. Mouth calmly hands her the rolled up bill and says 'I believe this is yours.' I think we're approaching the much anticipated meltdown.
-Dan tries to drown Clay for messing up Nathan's career. Except he was just using it as a teaching tool to get Clay to fix the situation. Savvy.
-Alex is off the wagon. So if she slept around a lot when she was sober I guess now its going to get even crazier.
-Millie gets busted for drunk driving (with Alex in tow). I guess this is bottom. How disappointing.
-Millie calls Brooke from the drunk tank. Brooke hangs up on her. Well Played. Coke fiend needs a night in the slammer.
-The Bobcats have 'capped' themselves out (apparently the NBA has a hard cap now) by trading for another point guard. The implication being Nathan won't be able to sign anywhere else, and we finally learn that the reason they were scared by the groupie thing is that he wasn't that good.
-Millie has moved on from regular diet pills to cocaine - the ultimate diet pill
-Brooke isn't pregnant - possibly the first time in a soap opera where a lack of pregnancy is the big shocker
And here we go:
-The show just ignores the fact that the NBA doesn't have a salary cap, just a luxury tax limit. Teams can spend as much as they want, they just have to pay a tax for any excess. But enough about the collective bargaining agreement.
-Nathan runs off to make Clay tell him why 'he lied to his face' when he told Nathan he would get a deal done.
-Nathan goes crazy when he hears that he can no longer play for the Bobcats (and that Clay is nailing Quinn) - he then fires Clay on the spot. I guess in this reality the Bobcats are a desirable team to play for.
-Even the Bobcats are unaware that the NBA doesn't have a hard cap. Michael Jordan must still be running things from the golf course.
-Really Mike Tolbert gets san diego's goal line carry??? Not LT or Gates??? Sorry fantasy football break
-Millie's crack addiction manifests itself by her sorting clothes. I guess this is better than knocking over a convenience store.
-Brooke takes out her not being pregnant on Julian.
-Alex realizes Millie has been stealing her coke. She gets suspicious when Millie comes over talking fast. She should be on The Wire, that's some good detecting.
-Rachel wants to do Dan's show from the hallway where he murdered his brother (we get a nice flashback) and a high school kid killed himself. She continues to be the most realistic character on the show, I can totally see Oprah doing the same thing.
-Millie plays hardball with Brooke and demands $500K to keep modeling. Nose Candy isn't going to buy itself.
-Brooke calls Millie an ungrateful employee for demanding market value. Who knew she was a closet communist.
-The moral of this week's show is that personal relationships are more important than business, and that Nathan should feel bad for firing Clay because they're friends. And Millie should feel bad for asking to get paid.
-Looks like Skillz is moving to LA to be a sports coordinator.
-Alex tells Millie she needs to stop doing coke. She says she will. That's what I call drug counseling.
-Clay's agency fires him over the Nathan deal. He walks off and puts a picture of Nathan and him facedown on the counter. That's what I call symbolism.
-Mouth: 'Television's funny. It can erase all your mistakes, or hold them against you.' Deep
-Quinn gets mad because Clay held out for a better deal and got fired. She argues his holding out meant that he thought Nathan was worth more and this shouldn't be held against him. This must be how Michael Crabtree's agent stays employed
-Brooke's infertile, duh duh duh
-Millie finds new cocaine contact (McKenna the model), looks like Alex's drug talk didn't work. Shocking
Mouth finds a rolled up hundred on the bathroom floor, and sees white residue on a mirror. Way to cover your tracks Millie. Maybe this means she wants to get caught. Or she just sucks at it.
-And we have the tell tale bloody nose as Millie vehemently denies being a drug addict. Mouth calmly hands her the rolled up bill and says 'I believe this is yours.' I think we're approaching the much anticipated meltdown.
-Dan tries to drown Clay for messing up Nathan's career. Except he was just using it as a teaching tool to get Clay to fix the situation. Savvy.
-Alex is off the wagon. So if she slept around a lot when she was sober I guess now its going to get even crazier.
-Millie gets busted for drunk driving (with Alex in tow). I guess this is bottom. How disappointing.
-Millie calls Brooke from the drunk tank. Brooke hangs up on her. Well Played. Coke fiend needs a night in the slammer.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
An Education
So bear with me for a minute. I'm going to recommend a film that deals with an older man seducing a smart independent high school girl, but does so with a light sense of humor and, dare I say, an almost whimsical feeling that keeps you from being completely creep-ed out. I'm even going to claim that it paints a vivid picture of 1960's England, and uses the aforementioned seduction to effectively illustrate the changing sexual politics of the era (and thus I satisfy my pretension quota for the hour). The beauty of An Education is that it follows a sixteen year old girl (Carey Mulligan) entering into a relationship with a markedly older man (Peter Saasgard) with the seeming, tacit, consent of her parents (Alfred Molina and Rosemunda Pike), yet manages to balance itself in such a way that you aren't horrified by what's going on. That's not to say the film condones the relationship, it just realizes all the characters to such a degree that all of the interactions feel real, and we're able to at least understand the characters' motivations.
I want to end by saying something to all you Twilight fans. The fact that you're lining up this weekend to watch, to paraphrase another, better, reviewer, a reformed pedophile try to hit on a high school girl means that you're already into this sort of scenario. Therefore why don't you watch An Education, a film that has a coherent script, realistic characters, and an interesting story, instead? I will admit that it doesn't feature any vampires, but go rent Blade II after and you'll be fine. You'll thank me.
I want to end by saying something to all you Twilight fans. The fact that you're lining up this weekend to watch, to paraphrase another, better, reviewer, a reformed pedophile try to hit on a high school girl means that you're already into this sort of scenario. Therefore why don't you watch An Education, a film that has a coherent script, realistic characters, and an interesting story, instead? I will admit that it doesn't feature any vampires, but go rent Blade II after and you'll be fine. You'll thank me.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
One Tree Hill - Now You Lift your eyes to the sun
Wow Heather Locklear is starring on the new Melrose Place, shockingly she was available. I may not consider watching it now (see what I did there)
-Brooke is still going crazy about Julian working with Alex.
-Clay tells Nathan he should turn down a 2 year offer - which he says is only being offered because of the groupie's story. You know the one that has been proven to be false.
-Millie is becoming a party crazy model hopped out on diet drugs. I am enjoying this
-Mouth finds her bag of pills, odds that she says they're vitamins?
-Clay keeps playing hardball with Charlotte
-Dan's back baby. He flies in on a private jet with a picture of him on the side. I want to make fun, but I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if I became television talk show host with a show centered around what I'm learning from my imminent death.
-Haley is giving a free concert, and apparently the demand is so high that dozens of people ar elined up for it. Taylor Swift she is not - though there is a chance she actually sings one of Ms. Swift's songs.
-OMG Brooke might be pregnant. She handles this well.
-Dan's wife to Jaime - 'Oh I remember when you were a rumor in third period' - about time someone smacked that little whiner with some cold reality
-While waiting for Charlotte to respond to his Boras like tactics Clay bonds with the fourth black guy in the history of the show, an orphan at a school where Quinn volunteers, by shooting hoops with him and talking about their dead relatives. Because if there's anything that a seven year old wants to hear about its your dead wife.
-Brooke's not pregnant. She is legitimately devastated. I'm sure she won't take this out on Julian
-Alex freaks out when they finish the script and she's no longer able to work with Julian every night. Smash cut to her sitting over a mirror with some interesting paraphernalia on it. I think getting back on the smack is a bit of an overreaction but what do I know. This is capped off with her calling Julian and saying that she's about to fall off the wagon if he doesn't come over to her hotel right away. I guess that's one way to get his attention.
-Haley's music can best be described as 'Maybe' by Everly. Product placement strikes again.
-Millie calls Mouth 'Mouth' which apparently she never does. I guess this means she's gone hollywood. Basically in about three days she's become a pill popping, dress stealing, slang slinging epitome of every model cliche ever. That's commitment to a lifestyle.
-Nathan gives dan the old "You're dead to me - The moment Keith died you died" classic
-Brooke to Julian "Well I'm worried about us but you do what you've got to do." How dare he try keep a smack addict off the coke train.
-It turns out Alex didn't have any cocaine - Millie stole it and is now snorting up like a pro. I haven't seen a decent into narcotics this fast in a situation not involving a professional athlete.
-Episode ends with Charlotte trading for another point guard, the immortal Derrick Mcdaniel, and the a sportscast announcer saying that this leaves Nathan 'needing to find a spot elsewhere, if at all.' The implication is that Nathan's career prospects are so bleak that no one else will sign him. Maybe Charlotte only offered a two year deal for something known as legitimate basketball reasons. Now it all makes sense, Nathan actually sucks and the team was just using the groupie nonsense to avoid having to resign him. I knew the show would explain everything. They were a little too excited about that double-double
-Brooke is still going crazy about Julian working with Alex.
-Clay tells Nathan he should turn down a 2 year offer - which he says is only being offered because of the groupie's story. You know the one that has been proven to be false.
-Millie is becoming a party crazy model hopped out on diet drugs. I am enjoying this
-Mouth finds her bag of pills, odds that she says they're vitamins?
-Clay keeps playing hardball with Charlotte
-Dan's back baby. He flies in on a private jet with a picture of him on the side. I want to make fun, but I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if I became television talk show host with a show centered around what I'm learning from my imminent death.
-Haley is giving a free concert, and apparently the demand is so high that dozens of people ar elined up for it. Taylor Swift she is not - though there is a chance she actually sings one of Ms. Swift's songs.
-OMG Brooke might be pregnant. She handles this well.
-Dan's wife to Jaime - 'Oh I remember when you were a rumor in third period' - about time someone smacked that little whiner with some cold reality
-While waiting for Charlotte to respond to his Boras like tactics Clay bonds with the fourth black guy in the history of the show, an orphan at a school where Quinn volunteers, by shooting hoops with him and talking about their dead relatives. Because if there's anything that a seven year old wants to hear about its your dead wife.
-Brooke's not pregnant. She is legitimately devastated. I'm sure she won't take this out on Julian
-Alex freaks out when they finish the script and she's no longer able to work with Julian every night. Smash cut to her sitting over a mirror with some interesting paraphernalia on it. I think getting back on the smack is a bit of an overreaction but what do I know. This is capped off with her calling Julian and saying that she's about to fall off the wagon if he doesn't come over to her hotel right away. I guess that's one way to get his attention.
-Haley's music can best be described as 'Maybe' by Everly. Product placement strikes again.
-Millie calls Mouth 'Mouth' which apparently she never does. I guess this means she's gone hollywood. Basically in about three days she's become a pill popping, dress stealing, slang slinging epitome of every model cliche ever. That's commitment to a lifestyle.
-Nathan gives dan the old "You're dead to me - The moment Keith died you died" classic
-Brooke to Julian "Well I'm worried about us but you do what you've got to do." How dare he try keep a smack addict off the coke train.
-It turns out Alex didn't have any cocaine - Millie stole it and is now snorting up like a pro. I haven't seen a decent into narcotics this fast in a situation not involving a professional athlete.
-Episode ends with Charlotte trading for another point guard, the immortal Derrick Mcdaniel, and the a sportscast announcer saying that this leaves Nathan 'needing to find a spot elsewhere, if at all.' The implication is that Nathan's career prospects are so bleak that no one else will sign him. Maybe Charlotte only offered a two year deal for something known as legitimate basketball reasons. Now it all makes sense, Nathan actually sucks and the team was just using the groupie nonsense to avoid having to resign him. I knew the show would explain everything. They were a little too excited about that double-double
Sunday, November 8, 2009
One Tree Hill - I just Died in your arms tonight
So now that this whole groupie allegedly ruining Nathan's chances to sign an NBA contract storyline is all played out, what could possibly happen to interrupt the idyllic tranquil of the North Carolina hamlet? Let's find out:
-I accidentally started the episode 27 minutes in and didn't notice for about three. I'm serious. I think this speaks to its timeless nature
-Episode opens with Dan getting a heart transplant in mexico, but he's still awake when they cut him...oh wait it was a dream. Fake out.
-This episode is apprently going to revolve around Julian getting forced to go camping with Nathan and the boys
-Clay hallucinates his dead ex wife coming out of the pool like Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Apparently he hasn't really moved on as much as we thought. His wife, remember she's only in his head, then nags him for not going on the camping trip.
-Just as Nathan says "First rule of camping - pack light" Julian walks up with half of REI on his back. AWKWARD
-Quinn and Brooke feed Haley 'special' brownies which just makes her hungrier. Haley doesn't realize this means pot. My guess is hijinks will ensue.
-Smash cut to everybody watching Wizard of Oz on the couch eating cheetos - well played
-Clay is still in his pool chatting with his dead wife. She doesn't like the outfits he's imagining for her. Even in his dreams he gets nagged. Nice
-Dan hallucinates a bloody body while on air and then passes out. His wife says "We should have saved that for sweeps." Because she's only concerned with ratings you see
-In a flashback we learn that Dan went to Mexico and purchased a new heart for $5,000, which according to Rachel is "A fortune to these people." I assume she means Antoine Walker circa 2009.
-Haley has emptied the refrigerator and is snacking. Brooke is still paranoid. That must have been some amazing pot.
-They then decide to call a Psychic to make a house call. These are some motivated pot heads.
-Apparently Dan hasn't told anyone about his transplant, so everyone believes he's living on borrowed time. Apparently this chance that he could die on air is all that is driving his ratings. That actually makes sense.
-Showing how its right on the pulse of 2007, the show has Julian suggest to Mouth that he give the Internet a try - maybe do some of that web casting thingy. I can already see the storyline where they show how a straight talking sports blob becomes immediately popular and makes tons of money. Much like the NBDL
-The guys sit around the campfire discussing the best Sports movie of all time. Nathan says Field of Dreams - solid. Mouth suggests Coach Carter which Skills says is a strong choice. I really can't say how many things are wrong with that statement. Seriously I could write a book about that insanity. But I won't
-Skills spills how Nathan and Brooke made a sex tape in high school. Julian reacts with restraint and aplomb (he actually does, could it be we have an emotionally developed being on the show?)
-The Psychic says something in latin as she leaves and two lightest weight potheads of all time freak out. They immediately consult a Ouija board to find out if its a curse. Savvy.
-I can't take it - Hoosiers, Chariots of Fire, Miracle, even Invincible all way better than Coach Carter. Though its still ahead of Seabiscuit
-Apparently Clay never told anyone he was married - his dead wife says this is why he's still haunted.
-Quinn (about who we'll just keep ignoring the fact that she left her husband because he made the unreasonable demand that he didn't want to be a starving documentarian any more) shows up at Clay's doorstep. He tells her about his wife, cries, and says 'it doesn't matter how fast you run, pain will always run faster.' Deep
-Dan is haunted by a spectre of the boy he got his heart from. Apparently Rachel paid some family to pull the plug on the kid to get the heart. To reassure him she says
'I did what I had to do to save your life, I'm not a murderer, you are'
Way to assuage your husbands fear by bringing up how he killed his brother. Its almost like you can't trust gold digging ex strippers to be supportive wives.
-In a stunning display of parenting Nathan lets Jaime run off into the forest to examine a strange sound just so Jaime will feel brave. It makes me almost want to have kids, so I can treat them like the proverbial canary in the cole mine.
-Dan decides to go back to Tree Hill. Duh Duh Duh
-I accidentally started the episode 27 minutes in and didn't notice for about three. I'm serious. I think this speaks to its timeless nature
-Episode opens with Dan getting a heart transplant in mexico, but he's still awake when they cut him...oh wait it was a dream. Fake out.
-This episode is apprently going to revolve around Julian getting forced to go camping with Nathan and the boys
-Clay hallucinates his dead ex wife coming out of the pool like Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Apparently he hasn't really moved on as much as we thought. His wife, remember she's only in his head, then nags him for not going on the camping trip.
-Just as Nathan says "First rule of camping - pack light" Julian walks up with half of REI on his back. AWKWARD
-Quinn and Brooke feed Haley 'special' brownies which just makes her hungrier. Haley doesn't realize this means pot. My guess is hijinks will ensue.
-Smash cut to everybody watching Wizard of Oz on the couch eating cheetos - well played
-Clay is still in his pool chatting with his dead wife. She doesn't like the outfits he's imagining for her. Even in his dreams he gets nagged. Nice
-Dan hallucinates a bloody body while on air and then passes out. His wife says "We should have saved that for sweeps." Because she's only concerned with ratings you see
-In a flashback we learn that Dan went to Mexico and purchased a new heart for $5,000, which according to Rachel is "A fortune to these people." I assume she means Antoine Walker circa 2009.
-Haley has emptied the refrigerator and is snacking. Brooke is still paranoid. That must have been some amazing pot.
-They then decide to call a Psychic to make a house call. These are some motivated pot heads.
-Apparently Dan hasn't told anyone about his transplant, so everyone believes he's living on borrowed time. Apparently this chance that he could die on air is all that is driving his ratings. That actually makes sense.
-Showing how its right on the pulse of 2007, the show has Julian suggest to Mouth that he give the Internet a try - maybe do some of that web casting thingy. I can already see the storyline where they show how a straight talking sports blob becomes immediately popular and makes tons of money. Much like the NBDL
-The guys sit around the campfire discussing the best Sports movie of all time. Nathan says Field of Dreams - solid. Mouth suggests Coach Carter which Skills says is a strong choice. I really can't say how many things are wrong with that statement. Seriously I could write a book about that insanity. But I won't
-Skills spills how Nathan and Brooke made a sex tape in high school. Julian reacts with restraint and aplomb (he actually does, could it be we have an emotionally developed being on the show?)
-The Psychic says something in latin as she leaves and two lightest weight potheads of all time freak out. They immediately consult a Ouija board to find out if its a curse. Savvy.
-I can't take it - Hoosiers, Chariots of Fire, Miracle, even Invincible all way better than Coach Carter. Though its still ahead of Seabiscuit
-Apparently Clay never told anyone he was married - his dead wife says this is why he's still haunted.
-Quinn (about who we'll just keep ignoring the fact that she left her husband because he made the unreasonable demand that he didn't want to be a starving documentarian any more) shows up at Clay's doorstep. He tells her about his wife, cries, and says 'it doesn't matter how fast you run, pain will always run faster.' Deep
-Dan is haunted by a spectre of the boy he got his heart from. Apparently Rachel paid some family to pull the plug on the kid to get the heart. To reassure him she says
'I did what I had to do to save your life, I'm not a murderer, you are'
Way to assuage your husbands fear by bringing up how he killed his brother. Its almost like you can't trust gold digging ex strippers to be supportive wives.
-In a stunning display of parenting Nathan lets Jaime run off into the forest to examine a strange sound just so Jaime will feel brave. It makes me almost want to have kids, so I can treat them like the proverbial canary in the cole mine.
-Dan decides to go back to Tree Hill. Duh Duh Duh
The Men Who Stare at Goats
I was all set to dismiss this film as being amusing yet inconsequential, but after thinking about it for a little bit I thing it deserves more credit than that. The film's plot revolves around Ewan Magregor's character traveling around Iraq with George Clooney. The film flashes back and forth between them, and Clooney's time in The New Earth Army - a secret division of the Army that back in the eighties tried to create an army of psychic super heroes. Jeff Bridges led these self -described Jedi's and they engage in varying psychic experiments - culminating with Clooney's character appearing ti kill a goat just by staring at it (see how I worked the title in there).
The film doesn't really have any big message, and most of the enjoyment comes from the fact that you're never entirely sure if the characters really have psychic powers - or if they're just really lucky. The cast is also loaded (besides the aforementioned three, it also includes Kevin Spacey, Stephen Root, and Robert Patrick) which is important in a film that has a premise as slight as this. They're able to convincingly sell characters that are in all likelihood crazy (Clooney in particular) and as a viewer you feel drawn to their LSD inspired lunacy.
So while The Men Who Stare at Goats doesn't have a significant message or particularly deep story, it does have an affable charm and understated sense of humor (really) that makes for a pleasant viewing experience. Why I'm trying to sound like a morning show reviewer is beyond me.
The film doesn't really have any big message, and most of the enjoyment comes from the fact that you're never entirely sure if the characters really have psychic powers - or if they're just really lucky. The cast is also loaded (besides the aforementioned three, it also includes Kevin Spacey, Stephen Root, and Robert Patrick) which is important in a film that has a premise as slight as this. They're able to convincingly sell characters that are in all likelihood crazy (Clooney in particular) and as a viewer you feel drawn to their LSD inspired lunacy.
So while The Men Who Stare at Goats doesn't have a significant message or particularly deep story, it does have an affable charm and understated sense of humor (really) that makes for a pleasant viewing experience. Why I'm trying to sound like a morning show reviewer is beyond me.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
One Tree Hill - I and Love and You
Judging by the new stream, One Tree Hill has gotten HD treatment. I can't think of a more deserving show.
-We start with Dan about to put renee the groupie on his show 'Scott Free' (I'm not kidding) ostensibly to 'bury' Nathan. Nathan says this interview will keep him out of the NBA. Because apparently she could say so much more that people don't already know. Maybe it'll turn out that Nathan beats Vietnamese children. Not that even that could keep a 20 ppg shooting guard out of the league
-Ahh the mysterious visitor to Clay is his ex-wife who left him and is now taunting him
-Clay (nathan's agent) is afraid the interview will end both his and Nathan's career. I guess he doesn't have that diverse of a client base
-Nathan and Hailey talk about how their life as they know it will probably end after this interview. I'm not sure if this storyline is more ludicrous than the way the show portrayed the NBDL as being successful, but I do have to give it to the writers for standing pat and not wavering from the idea that allegations of infidelity would deep six an NBA stars career
-35-11-6, apparently this is the 'career' stat line that Nathan was out and caused him celebrate to such a degree that he got loaded and allegedly knocked up the groupie. I mean this is a nice enough game, but lets reign it in guys. If that is what sets you off that means that your regular stats couldn't have been all that impressive. Maybe that has more to do with why you're having contract issues. Now this all makes sense
-Ahh the hook of this episode is all the characters who are currently in relationship trouble flashing back onto how happy they were in the past. How I hate them
-Brooke continues to be Psycho chick and gets all pissy because Julian is still working with Alex. The one whose advances he repeatedly rebuffed, but she still doesn't 'trust' him. Of course she doesn't. She still can't out crazy Peyton
-Its like the things that Dan is saying on the broadcast are perfectly relevant for all the characters in the show. Spooky
-Oh Snap, Dan springs a lie detector test on Renee. Tricky. And she lets them rig her up even though she doesn't want to take it. Wuss
-Flashback for the agent - his wife convinces him only to represent 'good' guys, and find clients who he believes in and with whom he can be friends. Looks like somebody has watched Jerry McGuire and few too many times
-Dan's catch phrase is "Stand in the light - get yourself right." Catchy
-Nathan brings up a relevant point that Dan could be rigging the lie detector. This doesn't stop everyone from believing it when it says Renee is telling the truth. Talk about easily manipulable. Its like in the Invention of Lying, everybody just accepts what they hear.
-Apparently Quinn left her husband because he decided that he wanted to get a job with medical benefits instead of being a struggling documentary filmmaker. Seems reasonable to me.
-Dan hooks himself up to the lie detector and shows that the machine returns true for every statement - everybody is predictably shocked. Dan then reads Renee's pupils to show she was lying. So he's the Mentalist as well. The whole thing was a set up - tricky.
-Everybody is so relieved when Renee admits she didn't have sex with Nathan. I guess they can hear the dollar signs in the background.
-The last record Clay was playing before his wife left him was Willie Nelson's - Angel flying Too Close to The Ground. I didn't realize Willie wanted to appeal to the Jonas Brothers demographic.
-Ahhhh hahahahahah, I completely called it last episode. His wife didn't leave him, she died and he's been hallucinating her this entire time. Perfect. I don't think we've had a two episode 'I talk to dead people' storyline yet.
-Julian takes care of Brooke's crazy without having to propose. Smooth, I figured for sure the episode would end with him on his knee.
-Instead it ends with Clay talking to his dead wife and crying - yet somehow he finally learns to let go. I think we can all learn something from this, and I am not ashamed to admit that I found the whole thing to be incredibly moving.
See this show teaches us to love again, and you think it only exists to promote the Starburst summer concert series.
-We start with Dan about to put renee the groupie on his show 'Scott Free' (I'm not kidding) ostensibly to 'bury' Nathan. Nathan says this interview will keep him out of the NBA. Because apparently she could say so much more that people don't already know. Maybe it'll turn out that Nathan beats Vietnamese children. Not that even that could keep a 20 ppg shooting guard out of the league
-Ahh the mysterious visitor to Clay is his ex-wife who left him and is now taunting him
-Clay (nathan's agent) is afraid the interview will end both his and Nathan's career. I guess he doesn't have that diverse of a client base
-Nathan and Hailey talk about how their life as they know it will probably end after this interview. I'm not sure if this storyline is more ludicrous than the way the show portrayed the NBDL as being successful, but I do have to give it to the writers for standing pat and not wavering from the idea that allegations of infidelity would deep six an NBA stars career
-35-11-6, apparently this is the 'career' stat line that Nathan was out and caused him celebrate to such a degree that he got loaded and allegedly knocked up the groupie. I mean this is a nice enough game, but lets reign it in guys. If that is what sets you off that means that your regular stats couldn't have been all that impressive. Maybe that has more to do with why you're having contract issues. Now this all makes sense
-Ahh the hook of this episode is all the characters who are currently in relationship trouble flashing back onto how happy they were in the past. How I hate them
-Brooke continues to be Psycho chick and gets all pissy because Julian is still working with Alex. The one whose advances he repeatedly rebuffed, but she still doesn't 'trust' him. Of course she doesn't. She still can't out crazy Peyton
-Its like the things that Dan is saying on the broadcast are perfectly relevant for all the characters in the show. Spooky
-Oh Snap, Dan springs a lie detector test on Renee. Tricky. And she lets them rig her up even though she doesn't want to take it. Wuss
-Flashback for the agent - his wife convinces him only to represent 'good' guys, and find clients who he believes in and with whom he can be friends. Looks like somebody has watched Jerry McGuire and few too many times
-Dan's catch phrase is "Stand in the light - get yourself right." Catchy
-Nathan brings up a relevant point that Dan could be rigging the lie detector. This doesn't stop everyone from believing it when it says Renee is telling the truth. Talk about easily manipulable. Its like in the Invention of Lying, everybody just accepts what they hear.
-Apparently Quinn left her husband because he decided that he wanted to get a job with medical benefits instead of being a struggling documentary filmmaker. Seems reasonable to me.
-Dan hooks himself up to the lie detector and shows that the machine returns true for every statement - everybody is predictably shocked. Dan then reads Renee's pupils to show she was lying. So he's the Mentalist as well. The whole thing was a set up - tricky.
-Everybody is so relieved when Renee admits she didn't have sex with Nathan. I guess they can hear the dollar signs in the background.
-The last record Clay was playing before his wife left him was Willie Nelson's - Angel flying Too Close to The Ground. I didn't realize Willie wanted to appeal to the Jonas Brothers demographic.
-Ahhhh hahahahahah, I completely called it last episode. His wife didn't leave him, she died and he's been hallucinating her this entire time. Perfect. I don't think we've had a two episode 'I talk to dead people' storyline yet.
-Julian takes care of Brooke's crazy without having to propose. Smooth, I figured for sure the episode would end with him on his knee.
-Instead it ends with Clay talking to his dead wife and crying - yet somehow he finally learns to let go. I think we can all learn something from this, and I am not ashamed to admit that I found the whole thing to be incredibly moving.
See this show teaches us to love again, and you think it only exists to promote the Starburst summer concert series.
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